I honestly do not understand why marriage is viewed as a do or die affair. Marriage is no one's last bus stop but some people make it seem so. Why is it that in the Nigerian society marriage seems to be so crucial? This obviously causes desperation in men and women... yeah I said it, there are also desperate men. This is also one of the reasons why so many marriages are failing. People are pushed to looking for a lifetime partner due to social and family pressure and no one is looking for Mr or Miss right for me but they are busy marrying Mr and Miss right now.
If a lady is approaching her thirties and is not in a relationship heading for marriage or married, it is always a problem. Then when they pass the 30 age mark it becomes a problem to find a man to take you as wife... and even if he did, his family may have a big problem with it. Notice how when you are married the people who pushed you into it are not the ones actually living your life or helping you deal with the emotional, mental and physical stress caused by the marriage rushed to early...
Why RUSH? Is marriage just about the wedding and letting people know yeah I'm married now... what is it about marriage that tells people just do it anyhow... it is a thing that requires the two P's: patience and prayer.
So even when you don't marry, why is it such a big deal? especially for the women. If the right person has not come along must the desperation lead you into a lifetime of sorrow or a marriage of chance (meaning you don't know if it will be a happy or bad union).
I know loneliness is not the best way to live a life but its better than suffering with a companion from hell. Why not wait for the right moment; be it age 30, 40 or 50. I do not like the idea of a divorce and it hurts to know that this is the new solution for a problem in a marriage; this is because the match was not the right one from the start...
So I ask, is marriage really a do or die affair??? Or a DO OR LIVE???
Love the Article but you have to also understand that even if you think you've met MR or MISS right it is not a guarantee that it will work. Marriage works based on how much you can tolerate, even if you love someone there are things they do that gets on your last nerves but you learn to tolerate and compromise cause you are no angel yourself (meaning that there is also something about you that drives him nuts). Pride is usually the big driver in divorce. And please there is nothing wrong with wanting to get married with all the bells and whistles as far as you know that it is not a do or die situation. And it's not usually our fault, I mostly blame our parents. How you doing Linda?
ReplyDeletethe only people that have this view are single people who dont have God in their life. If you do, what society thinks would not be a problem.
ReplyDeleteFocus on urself, be honest about your faults and work on them, pray and fast. If you want to be married, pray for it. If you dont or havent found him, stay single and celibate. At the end of the day, people will forget about ur issues and carry on with their lives, just as u will.
the only people that have this view are single people who dont have God in their life. If you do, what society thinks would not be a problem.
ReplyDeleteFocus on urself, be honest about your faults and work on them, pray and fast. If you want to be married, pray for it. If you dont or havent found him, stay single and celibate. At the end of the day, people will forget about ur issues and carry on with their lives, just as u will.
i keep saying....
ReplyDeletemarry if u can...
be happy if u can...
have a baby if u can...
have a hubby and a baby if u can...
but try not to end up alone...
i think it is nature to be loved......simple..
do what works for u...abeg...
I second my stories my testimonies. Do what you can.
ReplyDeleteNo it's not a do or die affair but some people do it and die- morally, physically, spiritually, financially, emotionally and mentally.
ReplyDeleteLet's be true to ourself. Sure there are no guarantees but we choose carefully when we want to buy a car, a house, get a job, make friends...so why can't we do the same for marriage???
If you have any doubt in your heart, don't! Why mortgage your life to years of misery when you can have a lifetime of bliss.
Make no mistake, there's always that still, small voice that speaks to us in our quiet moments...let's learn to listen, hear and act upon it rather than the voice of men and the madding crowd.
God help us all
I agree with what hellish said. It's important to know that society is structure around marriage. Marriage isn't from man but from God. It's his plan (i hope you believe that).
ReplyDeleteLay your foundation because foundation is so important. Know that you're not getting married to be "whole" but you need to be "whole" as a person. Make God the first priority in your life, follow his spirit inside you. Build a relationship that's against the God's word and instructions. Marriage is a good thing and if yours isn't going on well - ask the Master to sort you out. It's not do or die but it's a great process - nothing else can be compared to it.
its not a do or die affair,if it comes fine if not life goes onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
ReplyDeleteSo many hell marriages now adays u will hear the women saying 'OMO MI NI MOJOKO TI( IM THERE BCOS OF MY CHILDREN)
Shd marriage be bcs of children alone?
With GOD good and beautiful marriage is possible. mimi
hmmmmmm,marriage is not do or die.its just dat wen u reach a certain age bracket,the society expects you to be hooked or you hook sumone,irrespective of the crcumstance.you watch your friends doing it and getting it right and some dont get lucky.it gets you frustrated and you start to wish to have it ANYHOW even wen u know its not d best for you.and that is automatic endless sorrow that you will have to live with for the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteSo the best thing is to wait on God.pray and fast.and wait for God's chosen.stop doing it your way
It's not a do or die to me. If it's not working, will gladly hop off the bandwagon... Life is too short to make yourself unhappy
ReplyDelete