It's the Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown
Written by Ayo Shonaiya and DJ Abass
Check it out...
10. "We must pray and fast"In Yoruba, "e kun fun aduaa".
Commonly used in times of tribulation such as Police/EFCC cases, looking for a husband or applying for a UK or US visa.
9. "This is my year of breakthrough"A new year's eve special.
The ready-made lazy man's annual prayer whether or not he has put in an honest day's work the year before, and a popular headline at most money spinning end-of-year religious crusades.
8. "I thank God for your life"
Usually an acknowledgement or appreciation of a benefactor but you scratch your head to find a real meaning to this one. People just drop it anyhow, eg. "I saw Pastor Kososhi drive past me in his Hummer yesterday on Allen Avenue", Reply: "Oh, I thank God for his life".
7. "...but he's a Man of God"As in the old 'over-the-hill'
Brother Jero Pastor who doesn't know how to toast women but secretly lusts after your wife/girlfriend in church. These are the "close your eyes, let us pray" guys who's always around to help or advice, waiting and hoping to take advantage of any misfortune to console his way into your woman's life.
6. "J.E.S.U.S."
Now very popular at Christian weddings across Nigeria as the newly-wed couple cut their cake. This has taken over from the evergreen "3,2,1...". Speaking of weddings, some wack MCs now blackmail the wedding guests by saying "If you want to live to see the new year, let me see your hands up", thus punishing them for not laughing at his dry jokes. Fear has become our God.
5. "I bind you..." (AKA "Holy Ghost Fire! Fire!! Fire!!!")
As in, put a curse on you, or threaten you with the wrath of God if you're deemed to be disturbing them for whatever reason. For example, against jobless guys who are proposing marriage, or the Landlord who has come to collect the rent after 8 months!
4. "The Devil is a liar!"
Often used right after surviving a ghastly auto accident, general misfortune, tripping over your children's toys or mistakenly dripping peppersoup on your favourite pink T.M. Lewin shirt!
3. "In the name of Jesus..."
Also abbreviated on Facebook as "IJN" or for maximum effect "in the MIGHTY name of Jesus!". Favourite end-of-sentence soundbite for most Prosperity Pastors on television.
2. "To God be the glory"
The last line of 99.9% of Nollywood films, and fast rising closing remarks at government / corporate seminars (usually just before they share the 'gbemu' in Ghana-must-go bags)
1. "It is well"
Self explanatory enough. Classic soundbite even if it is VERY OBVIOUS that it is not well.
And don't forget "It is not my portion" and "No weapon fashioned against me shall proser".
LOL
Any religious soundbite you know? Do share with us...
Meanwhile check out pictures of the Okoye brothers, popularly known as P-Square, chilling with family and friends at Caliente, Lagos.
Ha, Paul no gree o...lol
Peter with Segun Akinborewa
Jude 'Engees' Okoye
Story of the day
A man, fired from his job, shot and killed his wife, 8-year-old daughter and two sets of twins, 2-year-old boys and 5-year-old girls, before shooting himself. Read the very sad story here…http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28952291/
Gaddafi calls for a United States of Africa
Libyan leader and new AU chairman, Colonel Muammar Gaddafi has called for the creation of a United States of Africa and raised the prospect of a single currency for the continent.
United States of Africa? He needs to get off his crack pipe…lol
You can read the full story...http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/425929.stm
Photo of the day
World's smallest body builder...
Catch y'all later
MUAH!!!
Is Emem dating one of these guys or is she "managing" them or doing "PR" for them?
ReplyDeleteNyce one Linda.
ReplyDeleteToo bad he had to end those beautiful destinies cos of hardship. Knowing that tough times dont last always.
When people attend a height financially, I wish they could remember the less priveledge. Talking about the Okoye's cos basiclly God gives blessing so we can be a blessing.
Enways, its a nyce one.
'$*it happens'
ReplyDeleteDoes Emem have the approval of the P-square boys to give out those pics or is she just advertising herself with them? Na wa for Naija-o..
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, I think Gaddaffi has something up his sleeves. He's the new AU leader so doesn't that mean he's the president or leader of the so called United States of AFrica thing? I read that he stormed out of the meeting when other leaders tried to argue about the suddenness of the whole United STates of Africa thing.... God help us-.....
Interesting religious sound bites...they've actually become cliches. People use them inappropriately and half the time don't even mean what they say. It's disgusting. I'm afraid to say that a lot of us are guilty of doing that, especially when we dont really know what to say in a particular situation or when we are trying to seem like we care about what has happened to the other person. Lord help us all!
ReplyDelete"The Devil is a liar" You say this when you spill a drink on your new TM Lewin shirt. hhmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, Linda please any idea where TM Lewin, Hawes and Curtis Shirts or any other corporate shirts are sold around the Island in Lagos? Someone needs that info ASAP.
To cap it all up, the joker (Gadaffi) wants to be called "The King of Kings", thank God his colleagues refused.
ReplyDeleteWhen you have mad men as leaders, what then do you expect from the nations?
lol at the body builder
ReplyDeleteEmem is a friend of mine and I am also a client of hers. She has done great PR for my sister who is a model in the USA. I have seen these pics on her personal facebook page. People lift pics from there all the time. It sounds like your just hating.
ReplyDeletep-squaure i love u guys but u guys got 2 seat up and plan for better future.
ReplyDelete