Developing a thick skin.

My younger sister got back from a salon this evening and told me something she found odd, but I found amusing. Apparently, the girls in the salon were talking about a certain Linda, at first she didn't know they were talking about her big sis, until someone mentioned my surname...she said she heard stuff that stunned her. It got to a point where she was wondering if they were actually talking about me or another Linda.

She eventually did ask them which linda they were talking about and they described me, my career and even talked about my blog and modeling agency. Then my sis asked them if they have ever met me and they replied no! She let them say and listened carefully but as she was leaving the salon, she turned to the girls and said that was my sister you were talking about but I'm not angry because you are talking out of ignorance, if you know her, you would not have said any of the things you said...

I used to care so much about what people think and say about me, until I came across the word 'Bias', and realised that people will think and say whatever they want, regardless of what you say and who you really are.

The first time I was written about as a model was in 1999 by my late publicist, Kayode fayemi, and after that first write up, I became one of the first celebrated models in Nigeria. In those days no journalist was interested in interviewing models, if you weren't an actress, musician, socialite, nobody wanted to hear what you had to say...models weren't celebrities.

But with time, we started getting recognition. We started getting Magazine front covers, headlines, interviews on TV etc. People started asking for autographs...it was cool until some people started believing that reading about you was enough for them to tell the KIND of person you are. They now think they KNOW you.

I've heard all kinds of things said behind my back and some to my face...I've heard people say I'm an 'aristo' babe, heard that I slept my way to the top, heard that I have men giving me money because I have a mag and run my own business...sad story!

Because you are a model, they think you are wayward...it doesn't matter what you say, they will believe what makes them happy. When they don't see you around town with men, they conclude that you are doing your thing underground, they'll believe anything but the truth that you are just a decent girl doing decent things.

I remember reading several articles about Genevieve Nnaji. Alot of people speculated she was dating a top politician who was spoiling her with money. All these rumour started after she bought a jeep and moved to the Lekki area of Lagos. No one cared to remember she was a top actress, making alot of money and also got paid millions of naira for her Lux advert. If you are successful, have your own business, they automatically think there's an alhaji bankrolling you. Once again, Sad!

Whenever I heard those hurtful things, I used to always try to explain myself to anyone who cared to listen, hoping to convince someone that I'm not that 'kind' of girl. But then I realised that when you allow people's opinion matter so much to you, especially if they have nothing good to say about you, you're only making life more difficult for yourself.

I also realised that people like to think negative of others because it makes them feel good about themselves, especially if they think they have failed in their own lives...if they haven't achieved anything at all, and they feel that you have, they try to make themselves feel better by believing that you did something unholy to achieve success, so why bother with what these people think or say? Especially if you know they are wrong. Especially if you are proud of the person you are, especially if your family and close friends are proud of you, but most especially if you know God in heaven is proud of you...he knows and sees everything we do, his opinion is the one that matters most.

People will say, it doesn't matter how good you are, they will say! Some people derive joy from badmouthing others...these are people who don't like themselves. If they don't like themselves, how the hell do you expect them to like you? Some people have made up their minds about the kind of person they think you are and nothing can convince them otherwise, nothing!

I've developed a thick skin...the only people who's opinion I care about now are of those who know me well...how can you judge me from afar? Some people have never even met you, they've never spoken to you, but they will tell what they think is your life story like they are family.

If you don't know me, don't talk about me, don't condemn me, don't spread false, hateful rumours, don't judge me, don't say what you don't know. On a second thought, you can say...but it means nothing to me...why should it? You don't matter...

Get to know someone first before making up your mind about who you think they are. And don't judge, who are you to judge? Who died and made you king?

Only a small minded person will judge another based on hear-say or what they read in the papers...that's not enough for you to think you know...

Live and let live people, no one is perfect, not even you!

What people say shouldn't bother you, it doesn't bother me...not anymore.