Lai Mohammed's Jollof Lies By Reno Omokri

An article written by Reno Omokri. Please read on. That Lai Mohammed has reduced himself from minister for information to minister for explaining why President Muhammadu Buhari does not attend to official duties is now obvious! Instead of busying himself generating ideas for the betterment of Nigeria, he is more concerned with generating excuses for Buhari's failure!

Why has Lai done this to himself? Why has he turned himself into the Southern end of a bull? 

And when CNN's Richard Quest gave him an opportunity to redeem himself by asking him the leading question 'which country makes the best jollof rice', Lai Mohammed proved how irredeemable he is by saying, and I quote "I want to say Senegal". Really! Senegal.

Is Lai Mohammed now the minister of information for Senegal? 

And to make matters worse, Lai tried to spin the storm that came after his disappointing response by claiming that he misunderstood Mr. Quest's question.

If Lai can misunderstand such a simple question, then it falls into question his capability for the job he holds.

Perhaps when you have a jollofless Lai as information minister and French graduate as agriculture minister, even jollof rice runs away to Senegal! Is this sycophancy taken too far? This is the same Lai Mohammed that said Fulani herdsmen come from Mauritius, a country that is in the Indian Ocean and shares no land border with Africa. The same Lai Mohammed that told us in January that President Muhammadu Buhari is perfectly healthy. I hear that even satan is praying for Lai to go to heaven because he fears he will lose his seat if he comes to hell!

And Lai does not seem to realize the extent of damage he has done to Nigeria's image. If I were the Senegalese government, I feature Lai's answer to Richard Quest question as a publicity advertisement for the Senegalese tourism industry on CNN and other global media.

It almost seems that since Muhammadu Buhari became our President it is not only foreign investors that are divesting from Nigeria. Even jollof rice has divested to Senegal. In fact, as Jollof rice has divested, we must not forget that the minister of agriculture had announced plans to import grass from Brazil so Herdsmen will be comfortable. You see, even grass had divested from Nigeria to Brazil!

But on second thoughts, perhaps we owe Lai an apology. He is right after all. Jollof RICE originates from Senegal. It is jollof LIES that originates from Nigeria through Lai Mohammed. 

In fact, I want to play a game called Name Your Favorite Jollof LIE that Lai has cooked. I will start. My favorite is the lie that one masquerade can create 1000 jobs. What is yours? Send me an email of yours to reno@renoomokri.org or tweet it at me using the hashtag #NameYourFavoriteJollofLIE!

But on a more serious note, Lai's most recent misadventure should prompt the federal government to do some introspection because incidences like this are too commonplace with this administration that one may be forgiven if he thought we were being governed by people who do not know much about Nigeria.

For instance we have a President who told the Telegraph of U.K. that Nigerians are "criminals", a lying information minister who thinks Nigerian jollof rice originates from Senegal, a French graduate agriculture minister who wants to import grass for Fulani Herdsmen while Nigerians have no food, a minister of finance that wants to tax Nigerians who own homes in London, a minister of internal affairs who thinks the job of uniformed military officers is to shine his shoe in public, a pot bellied minister of transport whose only major achievement is commissioning what the previous administration built, and a Science and Technology minister whose publicly stated ambition is to produce pencils in two years time-in fact maybe the whole government should just go to Senegal along with our jollof rice!

And God keeps giving Lai Mohammed opportunities to redeem himself and his government and he keeps failing to live up to his title as chief image maker for the government.

48 hours after Anthony Joshua TKO'ed Wladimir Klitschko to become the undisputed heavy weight champion of the world on April 29, 2017, the Nigerian government had not congratulated him. It was not until Senator Ben Murray-Bruce tweeted about it that he congratulated the champion pugilist. I hope Lai does not think Anthony is from SENEGAL!! You never know with this Buhari administration!

And this dereliction of duty from Lai Mohammed is more telling when you consider that Nigerians do not really know what is happening with their government.

Whether true or false, we hear about a cabal governing. Executive Council of the Federation meetings either do not hold or where they hold little to nothing is done because the President is not there. 

It is either Lai tells us that the President is resting on doctors orders or that he is working from home. Being that the President's office is 5 minutes from his home (I have walked it myself) one begins to wonder what Lai Meshe when he says that President Muhammadu Buhari worked from home.

And Lai's comments betrays the disconnect in this government. Lai tells us that the President needs to rest on doctors orders, yet the minister of transport, Rotimi Amaechi, only this week said the President was fit enough to govern and re contest in 2019.

Speaking as a guest on Channel Television's Hard Copy, Mr. Amaechi's exact words were:

"The president is fit enough to govern and if he makes the decision to run again, if he does, I don't think there is anything wrong in supporting him."

So who should we believe between Amaechi and Lai?

And then the minister of communications, Adebayo Shittu, joined the fray by saying:

"We would urge him to seek re-election because it is only once in a while that you get a father figure for a nation to move forward and attain greatness. He is unlike former President Goodluck Jonathan, who never, with due respect, symbolised anything for the country."

Barrister Adebayo Shittu says Muhammadu Buhari is like a father to Nigerians and Goodluck Jonathan was not. How sad that we forget history so soon! Between 'the dog and baboon will be soaked in blood' and 'my ambition is not worth the blood of any Nigerian', who sounds like a father?

Instead of Buhari's minister to pray for his health they are prodding him on to seek reelection in 2019. Learn from Abacha and Yar'adua. Do not tempt God! I just thank God that there are men who fear God like Chief Bisi Akande in the APC. While Amaechi, Kachikwu, Shittu and Oyegun are playing God, Akande this week released a statement that he "wept" because of the state of Buhari's health. 

What did Jesus say in Mark 8:36? "what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" The enemies of Buhari are those who are encouraging him to cling to power instead of clinging to his health!

If I were President Muhammadu Buhari, I will sack Amaechi and Shittu for pressuring me over 2019 at a time I should focus on my health. Except the aim is to kill me. It is taken that every sane man intends the reasonable consequence of his actions. What is the reasonable consequence of pressuring a man who is too sick to work full time or attend mosque to start contemplating the rigors of a re-election campaign? The reasonable consequence will befall Buhari's enemies, not Buhari. Amaechi, Shittu and Oyegun are Buhari's biggest enemies!

In all these, what I find alarming is the silence of both Tunde Bakare and Father Mbaka. Pastor Tunde Bakare and Reverend Father Ejike mbaka, who knew you guys could be so silent. You used to be so talkative!!! Sometimes it seems as if God made Muhammadu Buhari to be President purposely to expose the hypocrisy of some people.

These guys were so narky under the previous administration but now it seems the cat has got their tongue. What a pity.

But there is a silver lining. Vice President Yemi Osinbajo is a man who has won my heart for his conduct and carriage in office. President Buhari could not have made a better choice!

Just take in the comment he made while addressing "The Platform" at Covenant Christian Centre in Lagos. On May Day 2017, Professor Osinbajo said "and by the way, we all know that Nigerian jollof rice is the best!". And in just one sentence, Vice President Professor Yemi Osinbajo exposed Lai Mohammed for the liar he is.  

This is why I even though I pray for President Muhammadu Buhari, I am quite satisfied that Nigeria is safe in the hands of Osinbajo. Osinbajo understands what it is to lead a nation. After Lai embarrassed Nigeria over jollof rice, President Buhari kept mute, but Osinbajo has redeemed Nigeria's image. God bless Professor Yemi Osinbajo!

Reno's Nuggets

Noah built the Ark when it was sunny. You cant prepare for adversity during  adversity. You prepare for it during prosperity. While you are building your ark, haters will laugh at you. Don't waste anger on haters. When they annoy you, use the anger as energy to achieve more. It will annoy them more than your anger. And always remember that the world won't understand you if you try to explain yourself with words. Your only explanation they will understand is your success #RenosNuggets

Reno Omokri is a Christian TV talk show host and founder of the Mind of Christ Christian Center and the Helen and Bemigho Sanctuary for orphans. He is the author of three books, Shunpiking: No Shortcuts to God, Why Jesus Wept and Apples of Gold: A Book of Godly Wisdom. His book, Facts Versus Fiction: The True Story of the Jonathan Years: Chibok, 2015 and Other Conspiracies, is set for release in June.