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Saturday 4 April 2015

Must you sacrifice your career to make a successful marriage?- Agata Amata asks

What do you guys think?

135 comments:

  1. Yes i can...if my husband has a good source of income

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    1. Igbo girls must everything be about money? What if he is a thief??

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    2. If you marry right, You wouldn't mind sacrificing your career for marriage. A career or lack of a career doesn't a good home and marriage make. Its just that some men and women have terrible family backgrounds with emotionally abused moms or dads that they can't ever really be happy in whatever situation the find themselves. Some people have wonderful careers and beautiful marriages while some others have given up their careers for marriage or a home and are totally misreable. If your job or career makes you happy stick with it. If you have a husband or wife who doesn't want you at that Job, Take a walk. Marriage is not fair just as life is not fair. If you'll rather have the marriage then leave your career but while you do that remember that husbands are earthly perks and one day can hurt you by saying you are a drain on their pocket or you should also contribute to the family fund. Life is just constantly a juggle at one point or the other.. Find what works for you and your spouse or family. If you are not happy with it and can't compromise then its time to say bye bye to the marriage or career whichever one you agree upon....

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    3. Gbam. I will if he has a good source of income

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    4. @gossip girl, dat is y u wil remain liability to ur hubby. Wht abt if sth happen to ur hubby source of income? Its better to b working, and balance ur home.

      I distaste full time housewife dat sit, and wait for d hubby to bring money while they produce babies. It so bizarre, and disgusting.

      There is nothing lik b sef made, or b in career thereof.

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    5. Gossip girl
      Shows how dumb u are
      Not an insult but facts

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    6. Good point you've got there. But have you stopped to ask yourself "what if he's sacked from his job or his biz crashes or he dies suddenly " etc? How will you and your kids survive?

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    7. You're obviously an Igbo woman.,, always ready to be a liability... Mtschewww... I just pity your daughters

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    8. I pity u. U gv Ds and cos u ain't married ryt?? Men r very selfish in nature.

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  2. Wowza! Intelligent question, ladies over to you.

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  3. Not necessarily.our mothers did dem both successfully witout issues.

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  4. One person have to sacrifice his or career for a marriage to work.

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    1. Girl Pls go to school and learn to write

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    2. You girls will kill nigeria with ur stupid mentality

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    3. Mentality of an Igbo woman.., liability since 1960 .,, lmao

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  5. No!!! No wife of mine would say i should quit driving because i am a fine boy

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    1. Jus see u...who wants to marry a driver??? When people talk, u Wud join them?

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    2. Lol! You won't work as a driver IJN!

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  6. No!!! No wife of mine would say i should quit driving because i am a fine boy

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  7. Why sacrifice your career? At this present age, one engine cannot support the home. Both parties must bring something to the table... That is the only sacrifice I see that is reasonable.

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    1. You spoke sense......., in this present age? Nah...., not at all. if he's not kul with what you do? Then he's selfish and not really the one for you.

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    2. Nyc opinion @beewhy

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    3. Well said my brother! Well said ... Leave all this women that want to kill men with responsibility...

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    4. Reality speaking

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    5. Did you just say 'both parties must bring something to the table'? And people are even clapping for you? Including women! No,sir! It is the responsibility of a man to take care of his family 100%! Anything your wife decides to "bring to the table" should be seen as what it is-a privilege. See what the white man and his immoral culture have done to the African man! See how shameless we've become. So you'd joyfully demand for her 'to bring something to the table'? Kai! My guy, change this mentality of yours. It will only get you more indolent. Guys,if you can't convincingly take care of a woman,you have no business with marriage. Yes, I'm an Igbo man!

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    6. Did you just say 'both parties must bring something to the table'? And people are even clapping for you? Including women! No,sir! It is the responsibility of a man to take care of his family 100%! Anything your wife decides to "bring to the table" should be seen as what it is-a privilege. See what the white man and his immoral culture have done to the African man! See how shameless we've become. So you'd joyfully demand for her 'to bring something to the table'? Kai! My guy, change this mentality of yours. It will only get you more indolent. Guys,if you can't convincingly take care of a woman,you have no business with marriage. Yes, I'm an Igbo man!

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    7. I'm not surprised...just as i started to read this...i knew you were igbo. That said, that's the major reason majority of the clan marry @ 50 just so they get all the money they need. And those who decide to marry early, decide to have dinner with the devil in money making ritual. No harm intended. But sincerely, the man to which comment you have responded has spoken wisely. Sit and sip from the elder's glass. You never know, you might turn out wiser! Cheers.

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  8. It all depends on the husband, I personally would love to marry a career woman, and not full time house wife

    Your comment will be visible after approval

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    1. Yeah, right... and u complain when she has no time for chores and ish. Yet u guys go to work, get back and just gallivant around the house... I am a married woman with a time consuming job... I tell you it's crazy and considering the fact that my idiotic husband complains if he has to microwave his own food... Pissed working wife

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    2. Idiotic? I understand ma'am. Modern Nigeria women are strong. *cheers to good wives.

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  9. Hell NO! I prefer d woman to b working class instead of b liability or full time housewife@home. Its so disgusting dat in d name of marriage letting go ur career.

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    1. She shud let go of her marriage instead? D questn is more like asking the lady to choose between her career or her marriage. It happens in real life scenarios too. Like Ur hubby askin you to quit a job dat makes u work late in2 d nyt.

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  10. When u eat too much beans and its starts to purge u, u get restless and then start writing rubbish on social media.........who is amata again

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    1. You are Child dear......, you were not born during the days of Inside out with Agata &hey! Ignorant Child...., lest I forget to tell you too, she's Fred Amata's ex wife. so next time ask before u post comments out of ignorance and without shame.

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    2. For asking who she is, you're the dumbest amongst the LIB lot

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  11. When u eat too much beans and its starts to purge u, u get restless and then start writing rubbish on social media.........who is amata again

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    1. You are so clueless. Why not ask a question reasonably rather than place insults first. You strike me as being extraordinarily rude. You should be sensible at this stage. Ask intelligently and learn.

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    2. I think u have a problem of digestion. Either u don't read or cannot decipher. Amata only asked a question and she actually quote what people said. Face ur books little boy

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    3. Kwakwakwakwakwakwakwa

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    4. And who d dumb f**k are u?

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  12. Noo...
    Some men ll frustrate you at the middle of things.

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  13. Please women should never sacrifice their career for anything.

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  14. Hell no! + husby and. Wifey shld talk abouh it all b4 marriage and agree on som certain tins left to me i'ld rada b a career woman dis men ain loyal biko!

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    1. Your choice ma'am, it's indeed a free world!

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  15. Please women should never sacrifice their career for anything.

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    1. Speak for yourself ma'am! You were not appointed as the women's advocate! Life is full of choices. Make yours today and count your gains or otherwise tomorrow. Cheers.

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  16. Nope 2 mi career shldnt b 1 of dem. Serz ds days Men don't want liablity 4 a wife o dy prefer d hustling type, who @ d end of d Day or Month bring smth meaningful 2 d Table. So career is out of it 4 mi.

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    1. What the name of your writing biko? I keep seeing it in every topic, which means that's how you write. Smh

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  17. Nope, not ma career abeg
    There should be an understanding not to sacrifice my career

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  18. It's important both are balanced, however if career is posing threat to marriage, then it should be checked.

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  19. marriage + career = fulfillment
    sacrifices are put into d two and not one of them
    2 achieve both happiness and fulfillment...

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  20. They main issue is understanding.
    They're many career men and women that are happy in their marriage.
    Everybody with their luck.
    While in some marriage especially the woman, have to sacrifice her career for it to work.

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  21. marriage-career=a better

    get all election histories at achieversdiary.com

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  22. marriage-career=a better

    get all election histories at achieversdiary.com

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  23. ur solely resposible for ur happiness,not career nor marriage....you and God!

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  24. To each his own, there's no perfect marriage.
    A perfect marriage is not the absence of hurt and quarrels, but the abundance of forgiveness.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

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    1. Well said *in Pete Edochie's baritone

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  25. I don't have to listen to pipo to make my
    Marriage a successful one.
    Successful marriage is all about understanding
    And finding your soul mate.
    Call me selfish but I can't sacrifice my career.

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    1. No I can't sacrifice my career for my marriage to be successful. Career + marriage + happiness + successful that's all I stand for.

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  26. Sacrifices are involved in successful marriages but its not a must to sacrifice your career....

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  27. Of course not! I'll go with the second. Marriage + career = fulfillment. But you must learn to prioritize. One must be your top priority and honestly; that should be your marriage. Its actually what defines your success as a woman firstly/your primary assignment. And of course there's nothing like the joy of knowing you're making an impact in this world. Today; we have men encouraging their wives in pursuit of their career. Because their success always reflects on the home front. Just be wise, fair and sincere in pursuing that career. You shouldn't be consumed or lost in it that you forget your primary duty as a wife/mother. I think when such happens I tell you: your man will ask you to let go. Kindly visit www.thepinkjournalng.blogspot.com.

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    1. Nice one.... most so called career need to be checked.. some women can't manage their home all in d name of career..it all depends on what u have as career... your home and ur duty as a mother shld be major part of ur career...if whatever u have as career will affect ur home & mother hood, then u need to be Oprah... #staysingle...

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  28. Career will come n go, while ur home is there 4eva, even wen u r gone. A good home is a result of successful marriage.

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  29. this question shldnt be asked...its a detailed info on a sum..so whatever is d goal,then stick to d equation...life is really that simple...like I will say this life?u just gaz find the sin u can live with and blame no one for ur choices....
    OVER AND OUT...

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  30. I believe in marriage, i hate divorce. When the children are very young it is good for the woman to stay home while oga works and once they are older you can go back to work. Divorce affects children more. I have my home, job and marriage can't ask for more.

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  31. What i think is every spouse should support, encourage and respect each others career as long as it isn't legal and doesn't affect d family especially d kids. Some men r just so jealous and selfish that they will prefer their wives to stay at home while they run around with their secretaries. Some men in this category r d ones that won't still drop money for soup.

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  32. Marriage +career....makes a better marriage

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  33. What nonsense marriage is that?!... Biko!!! I can use money buy myself a wifeband. Career first #Case closed!!!

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  34. I think having a balance in both marriage and career make a sucessful marriage.

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    1. One day, someone asked Johnbull to make a wish, he proudly said " I want to drive a vehicle with so many girls in it." 20yrs later, Johnbull became the head driver @ St Matthews girls college, driving a school bus filled with school girls. He got his wish! Moral of the story: There's a fierce power in your tongue, be wise!

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  35. What nonsense marriage is that?!... Biko!!! I can use money buy myself a wifeband. Career first #Case closed!!!

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    1. So this is your prayer for yourself? To marry a man you will be feeding, and you think he won't become a lying sleazy son of a bitch and cheat on your ass and even beat you on top. Becareful what you wish for.

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  36. Depends on one's priorities
    Career over marriage EVERYTIME.

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  37. Not rily,depends on wat i want for my fam..i can be a career woman n still create quality tym for my family.

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  38. Firstly it takes God for any marriage to work out (+/-) career
    SecondlyIt depends on wat u choose as ur career and how time consuming it is
    And thirdly how committed u r to ur marriage and how understanding ur spouse is

    Lawngmahan says so

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  39. Hmm dis matter eh,e get as e be ooo

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  40. Marriage + career = a better home.
    Any man who truly loves his woman would help her build a career to support the home. Days of women building a career in the kitchen are over!

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  41. Create balance always. ----C21

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  42. I feel if he loves u, he will live wat u do as well cos dats ur person. I mean, he met u doin it so y want u to stop after marriage?

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  43. Of cos yes, a career woman can never make a gud wife nt to talk of bn a gud mother.

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    1. You stupid liability, when u are been spoon fed by d man who kpt you at home, buys u recharge card and aso ebi when he feels like, lazy ass fat liability. U can't even buy caprisonne for d kids until ur husband comes back from wherever he went to find solace, y won't you say rubbish. Wait till he's no more then u understand d meaning of WORK

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  44. Of cos yes, a career woman can never make a gud wife nt to talk of bn a gud mother.

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    1. You just confirmed the kind of person you are. Very unintelligent, myopic and crude! Obviously an iyaalata. No wonder you have all the time to sleep on lib. Agbaya oshi. See thought pattern, very limited way of thinking!

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  45. Of cos yes, a career woman can never make a gud wife nt to talk of bn a gud mother.

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  46. The 2nd and 3rd very true

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  47. Of cos yes, a career woman can never make a gud wife nt to talk of bn a gud mother.

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  48. I disagree aslong as you can manage both of th without 1 suffering

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    1. Wisdom is profitable.... #holybible

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  49. The sacrifice should be time not career

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  50. I don't think so...#myopinion

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  51. ibim Bobmanuel4 April 2015 at 23:38

    my thought shared. There shouldn't be marriage in the first place, if there's not an understanding of what life should look life after that marriage. so invariably marriage is a career

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  52. Definitely! Except ure lucky to be successful in a career like blogging like Linda, it is d hardest thing. Esp wen u got 3 kids to look after! It's not even about d husband 4 me, it z d children's happiness

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  53. E no easy, make we no lie.. Some husbands no mind sha

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  54. Husband or wives who cheat don'tind either way.. Shrug.. Lol

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  55. Husband or wives who cheat don'tind either way.. Shrug.. Lol

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  56. It is possible, some women really do have it all! Aka.. ME! ;)

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  57. It is possible. Some women really do have it all.. Aka.. ME! ;)

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  58. Career Should be among it. Career + Marriage equals HAPPINESS! Marriage is even not a piority or a do or die affair.

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    1. Nothing in life is my dear. So wake up from your whooped mentality! Na your type dey cry for midnight say she's lonely. Why not ask God for all his numerous blessings to be bestowed upon you. If it's cos you're already old you're thinking this way then you need serious help.

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    2. Marriage is a priority. Ur statement shows u aren't married. If u r good and married for right reasons u will meet ur own bone of bone.

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  59. At times yes but at times on d contrary

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  60. No, if the people in a marriage truly love each other, you will want each other to be "whole," by being fulfilled and the only way that can happen is when you do what you are designed to do. However, you can't do all things at once, so as long as people are wise enough to schedule things in the right "seasons" of their lives and not be overly aggressive in chasing their career by knowing that you can't be all things to all people, it will be fine.

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  61. Yea, u have to make a lotta sacrifice to have a successful marriage and Career is certainly not one of them. Its not even on the list of options.



    #TeamBlessed#

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    1. Idiot lazy gal, Ngozi okonjo iweala isn't a wife and mother right? Beyonce isn't a wife and mum? Stay there and be a liability

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  62. Im not married but I choose b. Although my mum chose c for her marriage to work but that's bcos my day cud provide & twas in "those days"

    waiting for opinion from married folks esp women

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  63. Thing is... Men off these days want u to perform miracle quite frankly I don't think half know what they want
    They want u to look sexy, go at and work but be at home with food & sex ready like u didnt pass through d same lagos traffic, evrything all at the same time

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  64. Marriage plus a career is a blessing....esp if U av kids n Ur marriage is great. Dats like what every woman prays for. If Ur married esp with kids, and ur husband is doin well den yea u cn sacrifice ur career...doesn't mean you should be idle dou, u cn always get smetin doin. If you chose career over marriage, dere 's no guarantee dat u'l b happy and u'l surely regret it later.

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  65. Marriage + carrier. I can't marry a womanwho does get busy aside domestic chores.





    Busy Fingers.

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  66. Firstly try to make d right choice of a marriage partner, some one who will understand & accept ur career and mind what u call career cuz if u must have both (marriage & career), their shld be a balance & some limitations but if ur so called career will affect ur marriage/home in a negative way and u can't change or make some adjustments,then leave marriage alone till u r ready.....or just be Oprah...#staysingle... U must not marry...

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  67. Something has gotta give! That is what marriage is about; sacrifices, you gotta give up something or at least let one thing suffer and another flourish. But both man and wife can have a happy marriage and career, look at Brangelina.

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  68. It takes understanding,love and forgiveness to make a marriage work. Career is secondary in this context. Linda take note!

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  69. A woman that is idle can never be happy. I can never let go of my career that's what defines me

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  70. Hahaha......, Jules ain't sacrificing her Carrier for no man. if you love me......,ma happiness will also make you happy...., A man who truely loves you wouldn't want you to be Jobless...., or wouldn't dictate what you should do rather he'll support you, but ladies should learn to balance the both. don't put your carrier first...., just balance both.

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  71. Women learn how to balance your careers, DO NOT GIVE THEM UP UNLESS YOUR CHILD HAS AN AILMENT. There are hands to assist in giving your children a balanced upbringing. Do not let any man deceive you into thinking, you must stop working and don't let him push you into teaching alone . a lot of men would begin to complain about finances and then maltreat you. Only a select few have the mind of some of our fathers of old. Your children will not forgive you if you leave them to the mercy of their fathers pockets. Men no vex but some of you can attest to your own fathers rotten attitudes towards providing and a lot of you saw how your mothers killed themselves to provide for you. Ladies do not under any circumstances stop working or a good business. I am not just talking he opened a store for me. Everybody can't sell, every body can not and should not be a shop owner.

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  72. No body wants to be a house wife, my career comes first then any other thing can follow..

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  73. unless you're rich like Dangote,even at that am not a lazy person to stay idle. The Nigerian situation does not support such.

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  74. Linda, it depend on the career. if the career is not too time demanding on both party then no need to sacrifice. but on the other hand if it too time demanding then the person especially the woman have to quit. even men this days quit job that takes too much of their time.

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  75. Women like Tsitsi Masiyiwa, Dakore Akande, Caroline Danjuma and that beauty queen flying around in a private jet don't need careers. If the man is wealthy and responsible enough to provide for his family as it should be, why does the wife need to work? Is Lola Okoye working? Do the maths. Even Linda Ikeji is blogging for money.

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  76. pls, marriage + career... D important tin is knwing hw 2 mk it wrk 4 d both of u.. Dere's no way a marriage will wrk if one party feels unhappy/unfulfilled..

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  77. Dumb question.. So because you're "married" your life becomes meaningless that all you do is be "married".. Again DUMB QUESTION

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  78. Personally speaking I can't o, I cant let my husband suffer 24/7 and I sit at home doing what? Marriage is all about understanding, supporting, loving etc, you cant say you love your spouse and you watch them suffer day In and day Out just to bring food on the table while you sit home like you are the Queen or something, you have to understand that is hard out there to make money, that's why you have to go out there and help your spouse to put food on the table and other finances. I'm a happily married woman and mother with a career, I still got time for my child, husband and myself..

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  79. My marriage first, but my career is my life. I will balance the two so I can be called a successful woman.

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  80. Biko. Let me lend a voice. New mothers should not be involved in jobs that cause them to neglect their young children for long.
    Wives should try not to neglect their husbands but if they absolutely have to, my dear, go make some dough!
    Children are the important ones in the family equation. So choose your job carefully

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  81. Igbo man!! Repressing women since 1960... Mtscheeew

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  82. There are no do's or dont' in marriage, we have different marriages so what works in your marriage may not work in mine. There's nothing like work full time career or full time house wife.

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  83. Sacrifice your career for a successful marriage? Or sacrifice your career to make your husband feel comfortable?

    This world is so weird :s

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  84. Until Pastors start preaching that marriage is not the ultimate, this Nigeria will continue having issues in that aspect ... although is not about that, anybody is entitle to his or her own opinion. Please don't go make that crazy sacrifice for marriage ooo.
    God help you with your decision.
    jk23401@yahoo.com

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  85. You don't need to sacrifice your career for a successful marriage, the lady just needs to be very concious of her family. I advised that for married people at least one of them must be in a paid job, and one must be involved in a business so it could be the wife in a paid job or the husband and vice versa. Because Family is everything! In the hierarchy of Life it is God First, Family(Marriage) second then Career. So don't trade your career over your marriage.

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  86. you have to strike a balance

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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

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