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Monday 22 December 2014

Dear LIB readers: I do not want my father to walk me down the aisle

From a female LIB reader
I am about to make a very important decision and I would like to have your candid opinion on it. Its regarding my forthcoming wedding and me wanting to do my father the honor of walking me down the aisle or giving my hand out in marriage. We have had a very distant Father-Daughter relationship due to the kind of torture he put my mother through while me and my brother were young and how the maltreatment affected my mother so much she developed hypertension and died when I was 14 and my brother 9.

From the much I know through my observations then and my findings now, my parents fell apart after my mum had an affair with the Chairman of my father's company while he was imprisoned over a fraud case he was involved in. He was the Chief Accountant of his multinational company and  himself and other top executives used his office to steal money that ran into millions of dollars. He was arrested and locked up in prison. In a very confused state and with all hopes dashed, my mother was advised to go meet with his office Chairman who is one of these old dirty men that sleep with everything in skirt. She was pressured to sleep with him as the only way to get her husband out of the mess he was in as my father stood the chance of spending a long time in jail. To save the idiot called my father, my mother succumbed to his pressures and slept with him. Within hours, my father was released but however lost his job. My mum decided to keep this as a secret she probably would die with but eventually, word got to my Father and he felt betrayed. In one of their quarrels, my mum told my dad she did it just to save him and get him back home as he was diabetic and could die in prison leaving her with two young children.
My father decided she was a miss fit for him and threw her out of his home and made us never see her again. He relocated us from Nigeria, burnt all her documents because according to him, he paid for her education. He got married again and then my brother and I faced the usual step mother torture. We never got to see our mother until she died in 2003 from hypertension and we were out of tradition allowed to go for her funeral. All these years I have kept my cool because I really needed to complete my education and now that I am done and have gotten a job, I want to shut him permanently out of my life.  A man that irrational cannot be close to me nor my family. Irony is that he is not remorseful after all these years. Still hauls all manner of insults on my late mother. 
I feel like not giving him that opportunity to walk me down the aisle and cutting him off my life would teach him a great lesson. Is my action going to be in order or am I been too irrational? Please I need your candid advice

449 comments:

1 – 200 of 449   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

first to comment

yustyoup@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

Don't let him walk u down d aisle johr

Dave Mide said...

Calling your father " the idiot " is way out of line. However, will just sit back and read the comments. All the best

Anonymous said...

It is painful dear, I cannot imagine. But please do not let him have that honour, he does not deserve it. Walking a bride down the isle is a symbol of blessing upon a marriage, dont let him send a curse or negativity in your marriage, honestly i wouldnt even invite him to the wedding. I pray that in the future God who is capable of healing any wounds will do his thing but for now please do not let that man walk you down the isle. Thank you and God bless you in all you do.

Unknown said...

U ve already made up ur mind on what u want to do so do it. As for what ur mum went thru I really am sorry about that, just try to move on with ur life

Unknown said...

My own little advice for u is just to forgive your dad.

Ceeflo said...

Call Jesus to walk you down the aisle! LOl

Anonymous said...

Pls forgive ur father and remember forgiveness is the key to all things, u shutting he out will not heal ur wound so forgive and forget. U have ur own family now so focus on them let him walk u down the aisle.

Anonymous said...

Too long dis early morning..dont bore people biko.

Unknown said...

This na nollywood o!
First you shouldn't call him names(he is still your dad) besides he saw you through school too. What your mum did was very wrong my dear and your dad's reaction was worst. My candid opinion is that you should let things be the way they are at the moment. Forgive him and show him much love whenever you have the opportunity to. That alone will torture him for life.

BG said...

He may not walk you down to the altar, but I will advice you forgive him, let God be his judge

olagokearemu said...

what a pity but pray to god.it is very difficult because the man may have a point may be your mother encouraged him to steal in the first place.I suggests you see a good pastor that hears from god not these libers who are mostly misguided youths who grow up during yahoo yahoo years.God bless you

Esta said...

Do what your hear desires.

Unknown said...

Perfect like that.i love you decision

gab2shoes said...

U are way out of life, no honour from me,, I must tel u, u shld have stopped em from paying ur tuition and go make livelihood from cleaning toilets and raking snowflakes during winter, this is an act of ingrate and it comes wth a price, the drift is BTW em and ur late mum, u have a lifevof urs ahead of u, this is irrational I must tel u adaeze!
Gab2shoessaysso

Miss tiana said...

Hmmm!dis one pass me o.over to lib elders.

Unknown said...

Deep Sigh!!! Mehn this way too much to chew... I really do not know what to advice in this situation. I feel your pains dear but blanking him for life would that really put things in perspective?? Well let's seebif anybody would have a better and redefined Advice here.. So so Story Dear.. And don't mind those 1st to comment advice, cause they might not have read through it very well..

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.Disclaimer:: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..

Femiluv said...

Wow...he sounds like scum. A man who killed my mom won't be at my wedding (not to talk of walking me down the aisle), father or not.

SANDRA said...

He's ur dad

@MEETD®EALEVANS™ said...

Lady, u've answered urself already...your mother no matter what shudnt av slept with Ur fathers boss...Gosh...and as for Ur father he acted like everyother man would...I'll do worst if I was Ur father, I stole yes let me serve the time and I don't expert my wife to sleep with d boss, the judge or d staff of d magistrate just to get me out...so young lady better still ask Ur ex to walk u down...

Unknown said...

To forgive is divine. He is still ur father no matter what.
$.
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@Mr Endowed via Lumia phone.

Anonymous said...

Your life gurl. Do u boo

Unknown said...

Linda its like u choose the mails to post.....ts not fair ohh....angry face

Karlsson said...

U re going to regret this if U ever do that my dear. Ur mother wasn't right neither ur father too. Imagine U were in ur father's shoe, what ll U do when U find out? Ur intending action isn't justifiable my dear. U ll need ur father someday, just cos U ve got a job doesn't mean U won't need him in d future. Forgive urself n ur father too, d burden ll be too much on U if U don't forgive him now. All d best dear. Ubanagum

MamaWhat??? said...

Awww!...Just go ahead,is a one day thing tho

Anonymous said...

Please forgive your father so that you too can receive forgiveness from your Heavenly Father (if you are a Christian).

Perfectionist said...

Women, don't kill yourself over a man, he will never appreciate you. Your mum would have allowed him to rot in jail.

www.glowyshoe.com said...

I think you should forgive him.

Visit my blog

www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com

Zoë said...

This is tough, let me wait for comments.

Unknown said...

Nawoooo

Many new post on the blog
www.udokajane.blogspot.com

Unknown said...

I think you should put that behind you though it's difficult and allow your dad to walk you

Perfectionist said...

Yes, don't allow him walk you down the aisle.

Unknown said...

Thanks for your patience all these years, but you need to do one more thing, that is call your father's attention to all you know about him and your late mother about the past in company of your family elders and reconcile. Do not disown your father.

Unknown said...

My dear, I understand your pain but you need to forgive your father. He has what is called BLESSING OF THE FATHER built in him as a gift of fatherhood and every child needs it in life. Why a lot of Nigerians are perishing in different prisons in the world is because they lack the blessing OF their father.You can never find a Jewish man in prison because immediately he is 12, their father takes them to the temple to bless and anoint them.Read the bible and see what happened to everyone that their father blessed or cursed. The bible did not make it conditional that your father must be a good man before he can bless you, so every father has that blessing in him weather he is good or bad. So you have to get that blessing my dear. Shalom

One and Only Ada David Omobabalanu

Unknown said...

Hmm, your story bears in it too many wrongs thought as being right. Your mother sleeping with the Chairman was totally wrong especially without your Father's opinion before the act, it's difficult for any man to take that.

On your father's path maybe tolerance would have made things better, throw her out and made some wrong moves again.

Now you want to make another wrong one because of your personal feelings about your dad, your dad might not be a good man but he is still your dad and is customary to allow him walk you down the aisle, don't compound your problems with this you are thinking.

Allow him walk you down the aisle, allowing for space between your new family and your dad can be easily down after marriage without getting to spoil your own name with this.

Pls, allow him walk you, then keep a certain distance after marriage, if you feel being around might not be good for your family. Above all be prayerful.

Unknown said...

Your father is your father ok? Besides ur mum is dead now.....let d dead be and face d living. If u dnt want him to walk u down d isle den u can always walk down with a gorilla.

Unknown said...

Smh* spreading of dirty linens outside. U shd be ashamed to say all these. Well, sa.. do what u think is right. Rmbr ur children will hear about this so do what would please thr ears!

Anonymous said...

Speechless
A photo of Ty Bello breastfeeding one of her twins

pelumi said...

pls dnt allow him at all

Kpakpandu said...

Wat a pathetic story... Ma dear, U av to forgive him, even if he ain't feeling remorse bout d whole tin... Ur mum had to mke dat sacrifice cos of d love she had for Ur dad...
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Disclaimer: FAITH IS A TREASURE
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Unknown said...

On a second thought, You have a good education today cause your Father stole enough money to have sent you Abroad. And your mum must be very sexy and Charming to have agreed to drop her Pant to save your Dad.. I don't wanna right off your Father in all, but he has some issues he needs to deal with.. You've got to sit down with him and temm him how you feel. And thirdly, what is your husband to be opinion on this??

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.Disclaimer:: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..

Anonymous said...

Just Let him walk you up the altar then after that day, make sure its the last time he gets to relate with you.....

Chy said...

Hmmm...wow... Forgive your Father for his evil deeds on you first for yourself. Then the decision will be clear. Also, if you have not done so, you may need to sit down with your Father and share your feelings about him with him. And it is not by force, that he must walk you down the aisle. It is your white wedding, you can now create your own tradition. But if you are having Naija traditional wedding, please respect tradition and let your papa give you away. At the eend of the day, he is still your father.

Cherry Topaz said...

Am sorry about what you had to go thru. But the truth is that you are being irrational. You are filled with so much anger n bitterness towards your dad. Nt that he doesn't deserve it, but pls, let it go. You are going into a new phase in life, you are gettin married, you should start your marriage with so much joy and hope for the future. Let go off the pains, it will do you no goo. Let go off the anger, it will only make you miserable and you may transfer this to your husband. Rather, talk to your dad, adult to adult, make him understand why your mum did what she did, bt don't justify her actions cos it was morally wrong. I think even in death, he still loves your mum and that is why he hasn't keeps bringin her into the picture, plus, der is nothing too small or big for God, hand it over to him and surrender it all to him. You deserve a new start and a happy life, and that will be your portion, amen.

ChuChu Wills said...

As much as your father took irrational decision by sending your mother, his wife away for action geared towards his own restitution and recovery, it is not enough for you to compound the problem by taking same route you abhor. It's painful that your mum died as a result of the torment. I feel that since you and your brother are of age, sit your father down and have a frank discussion with him. Lay the cards on the table and make him respect the memory of your mother, his wife. Let him know how both of you feel towards him because of his actions both past and present. Don't threaten him with what you plan to do. After the talks, leave him with his conscience. Sometimes, silence speaks louder than a million sentence. Be calm and prayerful. Don't carry the after-effects into your own marriage. All men are not the same, same with women. Good luck.

Unknown said...

No matter wot pls we shuld learn to forgiv i tink u shuld confront him dts all

Unknown said...

I know that feeling trust me, am so sorry for what happened. You dad is a very wicked man to the extent of not reaching out to your mom when she was sick. Left for me, find your mother's people, esp. the brothers and let them walk you down the asle

My God! Your dad is so wicked. He couldnt even allow her see her children! I hate arrogant and proud men! But forgive him. Tell him how you feel and how you chose to remember your mom is allowing her brother do the deal.

Remember to call all of them to the high table.

hansom_fortune said...

My dear..if all you've said is the whole truth, den he doesn't deserve walking you down any aisle. I'd also say u shud forgive him, buh like u said he's not remorseful. So screw him.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm # bright bravo# 7EFA4A13

Didi Banks said...

Dear poster,
The only candid advice I can give you is "please let God almighty be the judge of the case between ur mum and dad."
Accord him the right due him; he is ur father and that fact can never change.
And another thing is, for ur own peace of mind, respectfully sit ur dad down and pour ur heart out to him on how u feel about the things he did. Whatever his reaction, just do it. You'd feel better and freed afterwards; especially now that u are about starting ur own family.
Bottomline, accord him his due right to walk u down the aisle. Try and rid urself of all pilled up hates and anger for him. You can't afford to go with those into ur marriage.
Peace.

Didi Banks

Anonymous said...

Hey dear, I guess you do what will make you happy. You going to marry once. Since you don't like him, cut him off but above all find it in your heart to always forgive.

Unknown said...

U can do wateva dat pleases u, it's ur day u don't need 2 b moody on ur wedding day, gudluck

Didi Banks said...

Dear poster,
The only candid advice I can give you is "please let God almighty be the judge of the case between ur mum and dad."
Accord him the right due him; he is ur father and that fact can never change.
And another thing is, for ur own peace of mind, respectfully sit ur dad down and pour ur heart out to him on how u feel about the things he did. Whatever his reaction, just do it. You'd feel better and freed afterwards; especially now that u are about starting ur own family.
Bottomline, accord him his due right to walk u down the aisle. Try and rid urself of all pilled up hates and anger for him. You can't afford to go with those into ur marriage.
Peace.

Didi Banks

dogworthmontreal.blogspot.com said...

But remember he sponsored your education and yes could have done more than that to your mother, she betrayed his trust too, forget all and accept your father back.

aunty t said...

My dear forgive him. Just the same way christ has forgiven all your sins. He is your father no matter what! Shutting him out won't make him any less of a person. Forgive, forget and move on.

Anonymous said...

If this is true, you go girl!!! Your dad is a jerk and his wife too. For all those who'll want to place the 'forgive and forget' card, I pray this happens to you so you actually know how it feels.

Ugo said...

This is what we call COMPLICATED. Don't judge ya fada. Let God do that

Unknown said...

Dear friend... Taking that decision, would be too irrational.. It sounds like your dad, and you don't want to be like him in any way... It's hard to forgive such a man... especially when he's not even remorseful... But the best way to hurt him is to show love him... No matter how insane it sounds... We share a similar story of maltreatment - From before their marriage till a few years ago, my dad was CRUEL to my mum... But thank God, my mum is still alive, and even stays in the house my mother built with her sweat... Let him walk you... It's Biblical and the right thing to do... Pray for him too, cos it takes ONLY GOD to change such a man... Finally, find it in your heart to forgive him, even though it's almost impossible to do.

Didi Banks said...

Dear poster,
The only candid advice I can give you is "please let God almighty be the judge of the case between ur mum and dad."
Accord him the right due him; he is ur father and that fact can never change.
And another thing is, for ur own peace of mind, respectfully sit ur dad down and pour ur heart out to him on how u feel about the things he did. Whatever his reaction, just do it. You'd feel better and freed afterwards; especially now that u are about starting ur own family.
Bottomline, accord him his due right to walk u down the aisle. Try and rid urself of all pilled up hates and anger for him. You can't afford to go with those into ur marriage.
Peace.

Didi Banks

Unknown said...

JUST ALLOW HIM PERFORM IS DUTY OF WORKING U DOWN D AISLE....IT MAY BE D LAST FOR HIM......AFTA DAT, U CUD CUT HIM OFF.

esther said...

My dear sister, I can really feel your pain,it's really painful, but God knows best,and you have the right to choose anyone to walk you down the aisle.But my advice to you is to sit him down(you are a grown adult) and tell him how you feel, because you are getting into a new family(and i want you to be at peace with yourself). And most of all take it to God in prayer, he really knows best!

Maslow said...

Wey pretty u don't have to go that far and if you must take to advice, ur father did the right thing bcos traditionally ur mother did the worse a woman would have done to her husband by sleeping with ur fad boss and that would have ruin ur fad life if he had continue sleeping with ur mother after he got to know about the incident. It is a taboo as there are other ways she ought to have handled the situation at that time. Thank you.

Unknown said...

This is very complicated, you need to seek divine intervention. Because , no man can stand such a situation, i mean get to know your wife laid with another man. But all the same she did it just to save his ass, but to be sincere to you, your mum went too far to the extent of sleeping with another man. In the first place, since she have the knowledge that your father truly committed the offence, she shouldn't have involved herself in such mess just to save someone that knowingfully commit a crime. My advice for you is that no matter what, your father remain your father except if DNA says otherwise. And you need to go for DNA to ascertain if he's truly your dad

Unknown said...

Just dnt tell him abt ur wedding. Shikena

Unknown said...

Okay!

Anonymous said...

Babe do ur worse! He deserves it

Unknown said...

No! No!! No!!! First of all am happy for u. 2ndly is father still remail ur father u can't nva get any father eals where, 3rdly we no u ar hurt but that is not bring him and collect his blessing, all wat happun is d devil nva tink abt it anymore God has already blessed u c u true, may ur mum soul rest in peace.

OMG!WOMAN said...

Sit him down, tell him ur heart, your pain, how he has made u to hate him over the years rather than love him due to his past behaviours towards ur mom. I know u feel hurt ur mom is gone and u so much want to blame it on someone but it's quite unfortunate that person is your father. God didnt make a mistake when he placed you as his daughter, he found you fit to handle his qeaknesses. Forgive and move on from it. Maintain a relationship with him after u might have told him your mind. Let him walk you down the aisle, whether he shows remorse or not is up to him, what will bring you peace is what you are doing for your self. You loved your mom, yes. But you cant say there is no love what so ever in your heart for your father. You believe revange will settle your peace but believe me because he is ur blood hurting him will only in return bring you pain. You will put your self in the same place with him if you remain unforgiving, and you will be guilty of same crime u are accusing him of. Truth is u have his heart too that's why u are being unforgiving just like he was unforgiving to your mother. Forgive and be happy, trust God it's the best way. Sometimes we have to chose our battles blc peace is better than being right.

And this is for men... If u never knew this know now, the best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother regardless. If not you will have children that will hate you for ever. Unless u can live with that, the choice is yours.

Unknown said...

My dear I think you should forgive him,not for him but for yourself....as for letting him walk you down the aisle;you should follow your heart and also please sit him down talk things over with him.tell him how u felt all those years.God bless ya

Anonymous said...

Do whatever



Amakadarlyn@yahoo.com

Lewis said...

I'll forgive him,invite him for the wedding as a guest but he won't b d Fada of d day. If he can com fine n if he can't good.

olajide said...

First and fur most he is your father, in my town there is a saying that "One's child cannot be so wicked to the extent that you feed him to the lions" no what even if heaven and earth falls he is still your father but in the aspect of walking you down aisle you can let him do it but the gravity of his offense is to high which is "IMPATIENT" that caused your mother death. I think he did not really understand what your mother did for his sake because if he has understood he will not be harsh on the issue but all the same i feel you can forgive him let him play his role in your marriage but before that have a father and daughter chat with him before then.

helen jubril said...

Waoooow it's obvious the hate you have for him. My dear your father is your father God made it so. You want your husband to see you as a hardened and unforgiving wife no you don't. Forgive your father cause i believe your mum will do d same . If she had to safe him from rotten in jail she will do it again is just unfortunate your dad didn't realise is mistake. If i were you i will make him realise what pain he has caused me all my life .

Unknown said...

he is a useless father,dont give him dat pleasure to walk u down d aisle for d fact that he is not remorseful..

Anonymous said...

its complicated dear

ABEE... said...

We often pray that God should forgive us our trespasses so we can forgive those that trespassed against us. Its hurt we know, but if u believe & honours God's words, I advise that you forgive your Dad & allowed to take vengeance on ur behalf. Goodluck!

Anonymous said...

i hope you find it in you to forgive your father and move on with your life because this grudge will never end and will be passed to another generation unborn.
1. Your dad paid for your education with the money he probably stole.
2. Since your mum was hypertensive, save yourself the stress of dying the same way because you may regret your actions.
3. I hope you know your mum sacrificed for a better life for her children because any which ways your dad may have died in prison and it would have been hard to raise the kids.

3.

Unknown said...

Ur mother took a risk that was not worth it. What if she had slept with him and he was still not released? Few men will do less than what your dad did. Sleeping with the chairman to get your dad released was not right. Thank God the chairman did not request for more or to start blackmailing her. Forget it and move on with ur life. It does not matter whether he walked you down d aisle or not.

Unknown said...

Well, i understand wha yu r goin thru cos i have had d same xperience only fin is my mother is not dead and she doesnt have health issues. Buh as much as i detest my fada, i let him walk me down d aisle. Dont enta ur husband's ause without d blessings of ur fada cos he is d only parent yu have left and every gal nids the blessing of a parent. Dont let his mistakes affect ur new life jus cos yu dont wantu let go of ur anger towards him. Cos it will affect yu more dan it will affect him. Even if eventually yu dont have d best of relatnships wiv ur fada try as much as possible to forgive cos only den can yu kneel b4 d Lord in prayer wiv a clear conscience. I wish yu all d best

Eze said...

Nawa ooooo...problem they this world sha......don't no who to blame...but ur dad brought this upon himself......sweetheart pls do wot makes u happy

Eze said...

Nawa ooooo...problem they this world sha......don't no who to blame...but ur dad brought this upon himself......sweetheart pls do wot makes u happy

Unknown said...

I feel ur pain dear, he doesn't understand sacrifice. If is me o I will try to forgive him but he won't walk me down the aisle. If he didn't steal your mum won't have to sleep with another man.

Unknown said...

Please forgive and forget.... Na God I take beg you.....via......gentlelarry31@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Hmm sry dear, but i wil advice u honour him by allowing him walk u down the aisle. No mattet what he stood by you n ur bro n saw through education and instead of him cutting off your life why not confront him and let him know how you felt over the years. You cant bring back ur dead mom but u have one parent left. Pls think over your decision.

Bold Kid said...

Its ur day and ur decision to make.

Inside Out said...

Your father is wicked ooo.I advice you just give him the honor of walking you down the aisle.He's the only parent uve got now,forgive him.

TinyLittlePieces! said...

My dear, No one can give you the best advice except you hear from God directly. My heart bleeds for you and my candid thoughts will be to forgive your Father in spite of his wrong doings, He sincerely doesn't know any better than what he knows right now. The earlier you FORGIVE HIM, the better for YOU and God will help you to overcome this event that you have faced.
Walk into your marriage with a clean heart even if you don't want him involved in your life.
I wish you a blessed and blissful married life. #Hugs#

skilful_ said...

Wow. A touching story. I know how it feels to have such a wicked father. I have one myself who nearly killed my mom. The only thing I'll tell u is to forgive hi . And about walking u down the aisle, I don't know about that
magicfingers009@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Ppl will give u a lot of "the Bible says" quotes. But always remember the same Bible also says something abt parents pissing their kids off (rephrasing it)
Young woman forgive him o, but do wat gives u peace; dnt let him walk u down d aisle. Afterall all dis white wedding n shii is borrowed tradition n u are allowed to add or remove ur own style. HML

Unknown said...

Its a sad story though, bt truth be said, ur father will always be ur father u can never replace him, so u jst av to let go of all his ever done and move on, and thank God soon u will be on ur own and start a family, so jst let him perform his fatherly duty and bless ur marriage cos parents blessings matters a lot in any union. Goodluck

Unknown said...

hmmmmm.... We choose our friends but Only God Decides who our Parents would Be!! I also have a lot to say about my dad but since I learnt to stop bothering myself on things I can't change I JUST LET GO!! #PLEASE FORGIVE YOUR DAD# stop looking at the negative part of him focus on the beautiful things God HAS DONE for you!! AND PRAY!! SUCCESS IN YOU FORTHCOMING WEDDING!!

Unknown said...

Nice one.... Pls if possible cut him off ur life. He is such a wicked man

Unknown said...

My dear I think you should forgive him,not for him but for yourself....as for letting him walk you down the aisle;you should follow your heart and also please sit him down talk things over with him.tell him how u felt all those years.God bless ya

Anonymous said...

Allow him to do what iis demanded of him then after that you can do what you wish to do about him.

sureguy@toronto said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Well if the story is true and it's not from thrills and boom,then I think u should forgive ur dad and let him walk u down the aisle..

Unknown said...

Its not irrational at all, ur father is a wicked man

injo said...

Girl, its ur opinion really. For me, I would say just give him dat honor an after d wedding, wen u hav a Man in ur life, do wat u want wit him. I guess he deserves it.

Unknown said...

Lily said....its in order jare

Unknown said...

We all make mistakes and in our human failing and imperfection we hurt ppl we love d most in one way or d other. So find it in ur heart to forgive him as u look forward to be forgiven by those u hurt and most importantly for God to forgive ur sins. No matter wat he hv done or cause he remain ur father anyhow. To think of it, cutting him off ur life doesn't solve d p at all, cause d p will forever stire u in d face. So just talk it over wit him and get it done wit.

Unknown said...

Its sad to hear this..but hey girl.. You don't need to start your marital life on this daughter father hatred note,it will only draw you back..you need Gods blessing and favor and you can't have that bountifully if you HATE,not to talk of hating your biological father, you really have to forgive your dad and move on ..for you care to know,it might have been that your dad stole that money so that your mum can give you guys a better life and then your mum then did the unfortunate thing,but the deed has been done..you don't want your in laws hearing this story now..lessons learnt for us all though..all the best and let your dad perform his duty ..bless

Anonymous said...

Hi,
I read your story and I'm very sorry for your pain and loss. After everything your father did I think still he loves you and your brother. He could have thrown both your brother and you out with your mum but he didn't. Please let him work you down the aisle forgive him and let it go. What I think you should do is make your mom a big part of your wedding. That would not only make you happy and bring back memories of her but will piss the hell out of your dad and step mother. Thus you kill two birds with one stone. Good luck with your wedding and I wish you a very happy married life.

Anonymous said...

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B n B said...

Well, I feel ur pain... I mean, I knw Hw angry I get anytime I see my dad get angry with my mum (even if my mum's at fault).... but d fact is, He's ur dad... and 4rm ur story, u've neva confronted him abt what he did 2ur mum.,, u still benefited from him up til nw wen u feel ure capable of being independent...nd nw u want to dump him. doing dat won't make u any different from him, so i'll advise u let him walk u down. It's jst a walk. Den after d wedding, sit him down nd pour out ur mind darling. Tell him u want to enter ur new home on a fresh note, nd give him an ultimatum. Tell him if he dosent apologise to u nd ur siblings and ur mum's relatives (if dey re alive), den u won't want ur children to have anything to do with him...

Unknown said...

honestly I think your story is similar to mind...and even now my father is alive and a medical doctor I do not recognize him as my father I have cut him off my life even when I need help I don't go to him,I do not see anything wrong with that.

SolQros said...

Damn! what a story....my dear, i dont think you need any advice cos u alone know wat u av passed tru and no one has any rite to judge u on whatever decision u make......over the years and tru experience... i av come to realize that if a man should marry another wife ...then maybe he wants nothing to connect him with the initial wife...or maybe he wants to start a new form of family....so in a sense.....the already bred ones are not his precious.....my dear...if ur story is as it is.....den u mighy just be doing the rite thing....cos i wont be surprise if u er not in his will.....u can punish him if u want to....by not making him walk u down the aisle.....and u can as well let him walk u....abd give a speech to tell him u only did that cos u er mature than him.....and put ds in mind.....u er only doing ds ones.....regardless of wat he has done....d fact that he is ur biological father stands.......but i still say....no one will judge u for ur decision...... am very sure ur mum trully loved ur dad.....and she would av wanted u to forgive him.....so my dear.....i say think well on wat to do....but i will say...let him walk u...and then u give a speech at d reception....then narate ur ordeal....am sure dat will teach ur dad a lesson....

luchberry said...

na wa o.this is a serious matter o. although wat ur father did was so wrong, but shutting him frm ur life, hmmm. i dont think its d right thing to do.i feel they are other ways to let him know u are not happy with him.

Unknown said...

You have a good reason to shut him out..heavens you do,but that wouldn't solve anything. So what do you say when your kids ask for their granddad? It doesn't end with him....the cycle goes on and on. For the sake of peace,please forgive..

O.M.A. said...

You don't need any advice my dear, what you need is courage to tell it to his face.. you already know what you need to do. Just make sure he's got nothing on you before you cut him out.

Anonymous said...

You father hasn't forgiven your mother, even after so many years and the fact that she is no longer here, and you would be as good as he is if you do not forgive him. Forgiveness frees the forgiver, but your father doesn't know this so he is still living in his prison, even after your mother's death. Please don't live in prison, forgive him!

Unknown said...

Sorry Anuty linda Goodmorning oooo

Unknown said...

Forgive your father. He too deserves a second chance. If you don't forgive him, you are going to be a very bitter person and a bitter wife.

xquisite said...

My advice: show maturity let him walk u down the aisle, that might cause him to b remorseful and besides, I m sure ur mum won't wnt u to cut off ur dad, he wil always be ur dad and I m sure he was once a nice dad that loves his kids. Cutting off the head is not the cure for headache. Goodluck dear.

Bee said...

well, to err is human and to forgive divine so would say you should forgive him. If it's sth you can talk to him about, then you should let him know how you feel and let him stop talking about your late Mum like that.

Vivian Gills said...

If up till this years he still hauls insult on your late mum...pls and pls do what makes you happy

Ewatemi said...

My candid advice,let him walk you down the aisle. Doing so,you keep people from asking questions. You also save your late mum insults and abuses. Cuz really! How many pple do you want to explain to? You definitely know you keeping away from him for good afterward. YOU MIGHT USE STYLE SKIP THE DAUGHTER-FATHER DANCE. Pretend he is not there,u can do it, for you to condone him till you finished school and graduated. WHAT WILL A DAY MORE DO TO YOU?

Unknown said...

Just learn how to 4giv n forget. Dat day is a very important day of ur life

Anonymous said...

Sister, from your story you are still a child and till now you have not understood men.
Don't blame your father rather blame nature that created men to be like this. I think this should teach you a lot of lessons that no matter what the situation is do not succumb to cheat on your husband because no man will ever totally forgive a cheating wife. Nature made it that way. If your like go and experiment with your new husband, just wait till he finds out and you will see his true colour. So forget everything and move on. Something in me is still even telling me that the actual reason your Dad was imprisoned is because his boss has already made advances on your mum and she refused and he then used this as a way. I wish your mother was still alive you would have have asked her the truth. Just forget everything and. Move on with your life. I think your Dad did what everyother man would have done if they catch a cheating wife. Even ur new husband, ur brother and ur unborn son will even do the same. Nature made it so, I don't know why. From a concerned Lady

Unknown said...

Well, i will speak from both (masculine & feminine) perspective. but what the story didn't tell us is if your mum had a continuous affair with the chairman or it was just once.

Masculine: men don't find issues like this funny bcos they don't only feel betrayed but bruised & belittled. so i understand how your dad feels. its about his ego, i hope you understand that.

feminine: i understand she did it to help your dad out but did she discuss it with him before hand?if she didn't, she should have told him immediately he got out.letting him get the info from a third party is yet another big blow.

You:I think you need to ease the wound in your heart and let the past go...the issue was between your mum & dad even though it affected the whole family. you might need to seek counselling to help you heal..am not bothered about you allowing him walk you down the aisle cos that's not too relevant. You have to be able to let go of the hurt, forget about the past and build a relationship with the only parent you have on this planet.

Unknown said...

Wat a pity my dear,ur dad tuk it so far which its not fair at all,ur mum saved ur dad n all he could do was to do dat to her Jeeze!!! Men r too harsh....in d eyes of men u nid to punish him buh in d eyes of God u ve to bring up d conversation about ur mum to him,no matter wat he says u ve to forgive him....after all he's ur dad n always will b ur dad n d only parent u ve now...

ary said...

He has other kids with your step mom, so cutting him off and not letting him walk you down wouldn't be much of a lesson. Two wrongs don't make a right; your dad made a mistake and paid for it, your mom made a bigger mistake by selling her dignity for his freedom and got burned for it! I feel bad, because if you deny your dad the opportunity, he will just call you your mother's daughter. I seriously feel sorry for the hand your family was dealt but do I think you should let your father walk you down the aisle, I don't know, talk it over with your in laws because it might be okay with you but they might not like it.

Seamless said...

Sweetheart, you don't have to get him to walk you down the aisle if you don't want to..Its far better that you simply scrap that part of the ceremony than to do what you have in mind. Sometimes forgiving is hard but its the only thing that sets us free to do what we were called to do on this earth. Forgive him, let him go and move on. Its only one day as far as i'm concerned. I think talking to him about how you feel concerning his past actions is better and based on that you can make your decision.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmm! Swthrt, u need to heal. Don't let the enemy steal the joy of ur wedding bcos of unforgiveness. You don't need to be close to ur dad but ask urself ll shutting him out of ur wedding give u joy. If it ll then go ahead

Deji said...

I feel you and sympathize with your dilemma.However,ask yourself this pertinent question;has this father of yours been responsible for up until this point?i.e feeding,accommodation,care,education?if yes,then my dear,it seems to me he has performed his duties as a father,and therefore,should be accorded the privilege to walk you down the aisle!!my opinion!!!

Unknown said...

Sorry poster, as long as he is alive and u admit that he is your father, he will have 2 walk u 2 d aisle no matter what. Remember d walk won't be more than 5mins and doesn't cause any problem 2 your life. 4get all d stories, your father remains your father

Cynhams Cakes, Abuja. pin 7991b2f8, 07034794947 said...

You are not thinking clearly. I think you should just let him do it. It won't kill you. Just get it over and done with.
Your father may be the devil himself but he didn't kill you or your sibling and he still paid your way through school.

No matter what, cut him some slack and go on with your wedding.


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Unknown said...

Two wrongs has never, can never and will never make a right. Forgive him and let God be the judge. You cannot be a rebel and expect God to bless you.

Anonymous said...

Honour thy father(either good or bad) and thy mother so that your days will be long so said the bible. Leave judgement to God.

Unknown said...

Dis one pass mi ooooo......

Anonymous said...

Cut him out patapata! i can never sacrifice anythin for a man. not even my pussy! olorun maje. God purnish him.

abismile queen said...

Forgive and forget I will do. Der's notin in dis life dat cannot be forgiven

Unknown said...

Well, i will speak from both (masculine & feminine) perspective. but what the story didn't tell us is if your mum had a continuous affair with the chairman or it was just once.

Masculine: men don't find issues like this funny bcos they don't only feel betrayed but bruised & belittled. so i understand how your dad feels. its about his ego, i hope you understand that.

feminine: i understand she did it to help your dad out but did she discuss it with him before hand?if she didn't, she should have told him immediately he got out.letting him get the info from a third party is yet another big blow.

You: I think you need to ease the wound in your heart and let the past go...the issue was between your mum & dad even though it affected the whole family. you might need to seek counselling to help you heal..am not bothered about you allowing him walk you down the aisle cos that's not too relevant. You have to be able to let go of the hurt, forget about the past and build a relationship with the only parent you have on this planet.

Anonymous said...

Invite him for the wedding and make sure your brother walks you down the isle give your self the satisfaction of him watching. Make sure you do your trad first

Anonymous said...

I don't want my dad to walk me down the aisle too.

Unknown said...

My opinion? Do whatever ur conscience can carry.

Unknown said...

My dear, you are not being irrational. Do whatever makes you happy for now. We are in a modern world, and there is no curse, as some would want to make you believe, that follows ignoring your parents when you feel they have wronged you. I always say this, "parents shouldn't just rest in the title of father and mother and expect love from their children just like that, they need to make efforts not just in finances but in words, actions and character, to earn their children's love. Where that is not done, they shouldn't expect their children to stick around." But then, I am one for forgiveness. He might realise his faults before your marraige or long after your marraige, and come to apologise,please, don't shut him out when he does. Just make sure he's sorry for real. For now go ahead and do what you have to do, do let the traditional parent thing, hold you down. Your brother, your best friend, or anyone you deem fit, can walk you down the aisle

Anonymous said...

you are not qualified to wade into your parents problems. My advice to you is don't sleep with the chairman of this your husband. I can see you think it is in order when you want to save his neck. If you do you will face the same fate as your mother as no real man will take it.

tyga said...

Lik father lik daughter..two irrational people...ur cutting him off doesn't solve nofin..probably if u were a man you'll undastnd what ur dad felt..sorry abt ur mom tho..its painful..so if ur dad made a mistake by being irrational dnt follow suit..hes still ur father which ever way

DOBY DOBY said...

My dear jus forgive nd forget. . Move on.. life is too short to b angry.. God has blessd u so pls dnt shut him out of ur life.. u myt nt knw d full story since ur mum is dead, she myt nt be sooo innocent lyk u tink.. besides ur dad paid ur fees so jus endure

Livvsreamblog said...

You cant replace your father no matter what.....God bless the dead,it is only your mom that can tell the reason she slept with your father boss,forget about the story she told you

Just wini said...

my Dear just let go of any grudge you have against him, for the sake of your happiest day. I dont want to aportion blames on both parties,he was hurt that much probably he once loved ur mum so much that he couldnt just take d betrayal. but nonetheless allow him walk you down the aisle or call him b4 that day and table all u bottled up inside you over all this yrs

Unknown said...

my dear if your father is not worthy,to walk you down the ile then dont let him

April said...

I feel like we share the same soul, but in different bodies. My mother too is a victim of my father's wicked ways and behavioral pattern. The only difference is , she's still alive. Trust me , if I had my way, he'll be out of our lives for good. But even though he was the cause of your mother's death, to forgive is divine. Cutting him out of your life isn't the best decision . Even if he doesn't walk you down the aisle (I don't think he deserves that honor) , he should at least be present at your wedding , to witness the holy matrimony between you and your future husband. Prove to him that even through all the bullshit he and his new wife put you through over the years, you were still able to live again, to love again. And your children deserve to know their grandfather too. Worthy or unworthy.

finest loves Bloglord😍 said...

Wow,lemme take A sit nd wait for comments to roll in,cuz I'm confused

Anonymous said...

i agree with you. i think you should ask your brother to walk you down the aisle. but sha know that if daddy doesnt walk you down the aisle, he probably wont pay for the wedding either.

Unknown said...

Am with you girl, all the way, if he repented different ball game bt still insulting a dead woman hmmmm.

uzo said...

I will start by saying that am very sorry to hear what you went through it was very unfortunate but it won't be enough reason to live in the past, I know your dad did not have the moral right to treat your mum the way he did because love overcomes all. Still my dear what your mum was an abomination but not unforgivable, don't justify what she did, I will advice, you take your father as he is, learn from the mistake of your parents and move on with your life.

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmmmmmm this is deep my sister follow your heart this kind decisions has to do with heart not head!!!! JC

Anonymous said...

I think you should, he's the one that's irrational and I guess your mum would want you to

Unknown said...

U should learn frm ur mother's mistake!nd women knw dis!, dnt ever sleep wit another man in de name of doing ur husband a favour even if he asked u to!. Cos he can never! Nevr! Nevr! Get over it das if he is de 1 dat gave his consent nd u de woman will leave a miserable life wit him till de end. Mark dis! It's about pride of a man.

nekkyville said...

My dear I so support u..his indeed very wicked.hw can he cut u guys off frm ur mother??

PORTABLE viv said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.........
At dis time,words failed me........
Do what's on ur mind........
Ur father is mean n very wicked........

Anonymous said...

I hardly comment but this story is so touching that i so much hate your father according to your story,my own suggestion is that you forgive your father and ask for ur mother's brother to walk you down to the asle so in order to honour your mother whom you didnt even go for her burial becuz of your stupid selfish father,let me tell you the truth here your father never loved your mother and indirectly that goes to you and your brother,make sure you keep a close relationshipwith your mothers's family.Thanks octicoo@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

If am in your shoes, I will do the same cause he doesn't deserve it. Am a very blunt person, what I will do I will do regardless of what comes out of it.

If your mother can went through all that to your dad out of jail & he didn't appreciate it? He doesn't deserve any of her children.

#personalopinion

Anonymous said...

I'll suggest u don't do dat,y don't u try to talk things through wit ur father.all d best

Unknown said...

If you deny him the privilege of walking you down the aisle, then you are no way better than him. Forgiveness ιƨ very important in life. Forgive him, (i didn't say you should make him your best pal) ßut forgive.

Unknown said...

my dear I am solidly behind ur not letting ur dad walk u down the aisle cos he is not worth it.he isn't worth begin a father because father's are meant to be examples to their children but he isn't one of those father.in fact u r gonna be the greatest fool of u let him walk u down the aisle

Anonymous said...

Pls can someone brief me on how to create a profile for LIB

Unknown said...

I give u my permission to cut him out of ur life for good..he's a wicked man!!

Anonymous said...

Based on your situation dear, please get your younger brother to give you away. That will be the ultimate pain your dad will feel, it will also be an insult to him. Sometimes action hurts a lot and I think he does not deserve that honor. Good luck

MISS WORLD said...

HMMMMMMMM.......AUNT LINDA D NEXT NEWS PLS
*
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#LIBBOO

Unknown said...

This is serious but I think u should forgive and forget. He is still ur father.

Richard said...

I don't know what to say, but i'm sure LIBERS will help u out.

jessica egolo said...

Please whatever your heart tells you do it. Some men are just ungrateful.

Chukydyk said...

My dear liv him, he is old nw i guess, all those tinz wont get 2 him, evil that men do will liv within dem. Sorry 4 ur lost mum

Unknown said...

My dear I had issues wt forgiveness until few yrs back,I understand but ll advise u forgive him,tell him why he can't walk u & ask him 2 stop insulting ur late mum..Have a lovely wedding,don't allow ur dAd 2 steal ur shine.

chikaezez.blogspot.com said...

so sad... but ur mum is no more, y not reconcile with your father and family using the holy book.... honor ur parent so dat ur days may be long and remember forgiveness is best in life...give him the honor he deserves it... some people case are worst than urs. love is the ultimate..

ozopili said...

My dear as a human begin that i am I'll tell you to kill him if possible but lets not think let human begin hear cos two wrongs can't make a right. u can punish him by not leting him walk you down the aisle but u need to tell him dat b4 ur wedding so as not to make thing worst on the day of ur wedding..maybe on telling him, he may show how bad he feels for wat he did cos the problem we men have is pride, he might feel bad but won't want to show it.. But dear, it'll still be hurting you knwin wat you knw with out sorting it out ..so put fear as side and talk to ur father about it b4 taking any decision dat will make u do d same thing ur father did....Am sorry for wat happen dear...forgiveness is one thing i knw is cheap but expensive but wen u forgive both the person u forgave and you leave a new life..

Julz Cakes said...

I think you should just forgive him coz life is too short to start another beef that'd affect ur unborn kids. You should probably talk to him to let him know you are aware of everything n tell him how u feel. He'll probably apologise and stop cursing ur late mum and u all have peace. #mytwocents

Anonymous said...

I hardly comment but this story is so touching that i so much hate your father according to your story,my own suggestion is that you forgive your father and ask for ur mother's brother to walk you down to the asle so in order to honour your mother whom you didnt even go for her burial becuz of your stupid selfish father,let me tell you the truth here your father never loved your mother and indirectly that goes to you and your brother,make sure you keep a close relationshipwith your mothers's family.Thanks octicoo@gmail.com

OneKay said...

Real comments no nonsense talk and for me am still processing the info, kinda emotional

Unknown said...

My dear I had issues wt forgiveness until few yrs back,I understand but ll advise u forgive him,tell him why he can't walk u & ask him 2 stop insulting ur late mum..Have a lovely wedding,don't allow ur dAd 2 steal ur shine.

Unknown said...

Hmmm!To me this more than just him walking you or not walking you down the aisle. I believe you need a proper one on one counselling with a professional. There are many things that has gone wrong, even with you and if if not proper checked might repeat itself in your own relationship (I speak as a professional & I have seen & hear 100 of cases like this). I have many questions for you. You can email me on owunarigeorge@gmail.com

nancy oge said...

my dear, your story is really pitiful and i get the urge to punish him for what he did to your mother, but at the end of the day, you will act like him. which is being blinded by the hurt and betrayal from a loved one that we tend to forget to forgive and forget. so sweetie, i advise you not to deny him that opportunity of giving you away. try and forgive him. forgiveness is not for him, it is for you. learn to let go of that darkness and cloud of anger eating you up. be the matured one and take a step towards learning how to forgive because if you don't then there is really no difference between the two of you because like him, he couldn't let go of the one bad thing your mum ever did, and you now can't seem to let go of the one bad thing he ever did.
nancyikedife@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

U are well within your right to cut the dude out, d fact dat Ge contributed his dna to ur existence doesn't make him a father in every sense of word from what u've described above, if u have a father figure who is more deserving of the honor of walking you down the aisle, go for it..

Unknown said...

that is a tough decision

nancy oge said...

my dear, your story is really pitiful and i get the urge to punish him for what he did to your mother, but at the end of the day, you will act like him. which is being blinded by the hurt and betrayal from a loved one that we tend to forget to forgive and forget. so sweetie, i advise you not to deny him that opportunity of giving you away. try and forgive him. forgiveness is not for him, it is for you. learn to let go of that darkness and cloud of anger eating you up. be the matured one and take a step towards learning how to forgive because if you don't then there is really no difference between the two of you because like him, he couldn't let go of the one bad thing your mum ever did, and you now can't seem to let go of the one bad thing he ever did.
nancyikedife@yahoo.com

Jeni_zee said...

Ok darling, I understand everything u went tru, this is wat u shd do, let him walk u down d aisle nd after that u can disconnect him from ur life or keep a distance or forgive him, but to avoid unnecessary issues, let him walk u

bugatti said...

Pls dear learn to forgive ur father so ur mum soul can rest and u will have peace in ur heart also cos keeping that kinda hatred in ur heart for that long is not good.pray to God for a forgiving heart

Unknown said...

U beta jst do it for the sake of talks, its a one tym tin oo my dear

Anonymous said...

Please my dear sister don't through him away, Just tell him everything in your mind and he will beg you while you forgive him. so leave the past to be past things.

God bless you so much. Obi God

nancy oge said...

my dear, your story is really pitiful and i get the urge to punish him for what he did to your mother, but at the end of the day, you will act like him. which is being blinded by the hurt and betrayal from a loved one that we tend to forget to forgive and forget. so sweetie, i advise you not to deny him that opportunity of giving you away. try and forgive him. forgiveness is not for him, it is for you. learn to let go of that darkness and cloud of anger eating you up. be the matured one and take a step towards learning how to forgive because if you don't then there is really no difference between the two of you because like him, he couldn't let go of the one bad thing your mum ever did, and you now can't seem to let go of the one bad thing he ever did.
nancyikedife@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

let him know how you feel all these years and forgive him, whether he feels remorse or not. it is only GOD that can reward everyone according to his deeds. Do it for Good's sake, I believe you are a christian.

nancy oge said...

my dear, your story is really pitiful and i get the urge to punish him for what he did to your mother, but at the end of the day, you will act like him. which is being blinded by the hurt and betrayal from a loved one that we tend to forget to forgive and forget. so sweetie, i advise you not to deny him that opportunity of giving you away. try and forgive him. forgiveness is not for him, it is for you. learn to let go of that darkness and cloud of anger eating you up. be the matured one and take a step towards learning how to forgive because if you don't then there is really no difference between the two of you because like him, he couldn't let go of the one bad thing your mum ever did, and you now can't seem to let go of the one bad thing he ever did.
nancyikedife@yahoo.com

n said...

my dear, your story is really pitiful and i get the urge to punish him for what he did to your mother, but at the end of the day, you will act like him. which is being blinded by the hurt and betrayal from a loved one that we tend to forget to forgive and forget. so sweetie, i advise you not to deny him that opportunity of giving you away. try and forgive him. forgiveness is not for him, it is for you. learn to let go of that darkness and cloud of anger eating you up. be the matured one and take a step towards learning how to forgive because if you don't then there is really no difference between the two of you because like him, he couldn't let go of the one bad thing your mum ever did, and you now can't seem to let go of the one bad thing he ever did.
nancyikedife@yahoo.com

nancy oge said...

my dear, your story is really pitiful and i get the urge to punish him for what he did to your mother, but at the end of the day, you will act like him. which is being blinded by the hurt and betrayal from a loved one that we tend to forget to forgive and forget. so sweetie, i advise you not to deny him that opportunity of giving you away. try and forgive him. forgiveness is not for him, it is for you. learn to let go of that darkness and cloud of anger eating you up. be the matured one and take a step towards learning how to forgive because if you don't then there is really no difference between the two of you because like him, he couldn't let go of the one bad thing your mum ever did, and you now can't seem to let go of the one bad thing he ever did.
nancyikedife@yahoo.com

SolQros said...

Damn! what a story....my dear, i dont think you need any advice cos u alone know wat u av passed tru and no one has any rite to judge u on whatever decision u make......over the years and tru experience... i av come to realize that if a man should marry another wife ...then maybe he wants nothing to connect him with the initial wife...or maybe he wants to start a new form of family....so in a sense.....the already bred ones are not his precious.....my dear...if ur story is as it is.....den u mighy just be doing the rite thing....cos i wont be surprise if u er not in his will.....u can punish him if u want to....by not making him walk u down the aisle.....and u can as well let him walk u....abd give a speech to tell him u only did that cos u er mature than him.....and put ds in mind.....u er only doing ds ones.....regardless of wat he has done....d fact that he is ur biological father stands.......but i still say....no one will judge u for ur decision...... am very sure ur mum trully loved ur dad.....and she would av wanted u to forgive him.....so my dear.....i say think well on wat to do....but i will say...let him walk u...and then u give a speech at d reception....then narate ur ordeal....am sure dat will teach ur dad a lesson....

REXOVIC said...

WAO!!! WISH YOUR MUM WAS ALIVE...I HAVE REALISED SOME MEN NEED TO PAY DEARLY FOR DER ACTIONS AND WOMEN PLS NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO SO SAVE SOME MEN HE WILL STILL TURM BACK TO CAUSE YOU.....JUST SPEECHLESS ...THE BIBLE SAID WE SHOULD FORGIVE BUT I DOUBT I CAN FORGIVE SUCH A FATHER TOO....ENOUGH SAID JUST LET HIM WALK YOU DOWN THE ISLE AND AFTER THAT SHUT HIM OUT!
IS YOUR HUBBY AWARE OF THE SITUATION ALSO? I JUST HOPE HE DOESN'T HARBOUR SOME TOTS TOWARDS YOU TOO..

nancy oge said...

my dear, your story is really pitiful and i get the urge to punish him for what he did to your mother, but at the end of the day, you will act like him. which is being blinded by the hurt and betrayal from a loved one that we tend to forget to forgive and forget. so sweetie, i advise you not to deny him that opportunity of giving you away. try and forgive him. forgiveness is not for him, it is for you. learn to let go of that darkness and cloud of anger eating you up. be the matured one and take a step towards learning how to forgive because if you don't then there is really no difference between the two of you because like him, he couldn't let go of the one bad thing your mum ever did, and you now can't seem to let go of the one bad thing he ever did.
nancyikedife@yahoo.com

Juleslouis said...

My opinion, a man that murdered my mom for sacrificing her dignity to save him is not worth walking me down d aisle. Candid opinion. I'll forgive him but he just has to stay clear of my sight.

Unknown said...

Ur mother too no try nw, (no matter what adultery is not it).Forgive him...it's ur day enjoy.

Unknown said...

Ur mother too no try nw, (no matter what adultery is not it).Forgive him...it's ur day enjoy.

Zükk3i said...

It's YOUR wedding and if you don't want your father to walk you down the aisle for whatever reason, then don't let him. You don't need to justify your actions to ANYONE. You can do whatever you want with your own wedding.

Unknown said...

Do wettinn dey ur mind sister! But kw tomorrow is another day!

valdee said...

u have d right 2 be irrational but,u have 2 undastnd dat forgiveness matters a lot! Just talk 2 ur dad and clear things up. Forgive ur dad and u will find peace! Two wrongs don't make a right dear

Unknown said...

Thank God your own father is an Idiot as you said. But the Idiot is still your father he should walk his idiot daughter down the aisle.

Unknown said...

Who cares? Abeg, unto the next story jare

Unknown said...

Two wrongs can not make it right...

Eric. C. Erics said...

My dear u are about to make the same mistake ur father made by not forgiving ur mother b4 she died. to 4give is divine. Give him d chance to do so.

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