Dear LIB readers: Should I go back to my matrimonial home? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Wednesday 6 March 2013

Dear LIB readers: Should I go back to my matrimonial home?

From a LIB reader
This is a true story and I need your urgent advise. I left my matrimonial home in January after I found out another woman was pregnant for my husband. I was six months pregnant then and the other lady was five. This woman is my husband's ex who he kept sleeping with until our wedding in September 2012. He told me he hasn't touched her since we got married but he got her pregnant a month before our wedding. I'm eight months pregnant now and I'm very angry and disappointed in myself for choosing a man who has humiliated so much. My family and friends are begging me to go back home, give my marriage a chance and have my baby there, but I don't know that I want to do that. I'm staying at my parents house at the moment and yes my husband is also begging. So on top of being angry, I'm also confused.

342 comments:

1 – 200 of 342   Newer›   Newest»
coolest babe said...

Move back ma so sorry for ur hurt things that men Do sighs

Anonymous said...

Pls go bk

Anonymous said...

Go back home and make things work

Flo'AU said...

It's okay to be angry. Infact, if you aren't angry about a thing as disappointing as this from a man you have sworn to live the rest of your life with, we'll prolly think stuff's up. Go back home! Work it out with your man!! If he's contrite,start over START OVER!!!

Anonymous said...

He's definitely a effing bastard. At this stage i will say give it a go, but be ready to see this woman occasionally show up in your life as she has a kid for your husband. Once you can live with that then its salvageable.
Go home but make it know to him and family that this shit cannot repeat itself. I'm 38 and i've been married for 15 years so i know what i'm talking about. As a woman we are strong that we know, you will survive this.

Anonymous said...

You should not have moved out in the first instance. Since you are pregnant, face your pregnancy and save the fight for later. Many women have been through all these rubbish with men worldwide.

You better run back home. If I were the pregnant ex I would move in since a silly wife moved out. Don't you know that she is a 'kill-joy'.

How do you know that the next man would not be worse? Don't forget that Nigerian men can marry more than one wife. He is not married to her but to you.

After safe delivery, you can then decide if you want to remain married to him or not. Please buckle up and face reality!

Anonymous said...

No go born girl o because if that ex born boy e no go funny on d long run( esp if u no finally born d boy)

Please we are Africans & I'm a man. Girls are THE BEST to have & they always remember their parents but its just awesome to have a son I can play footie with and win at video games.

Anonymous said...

Please go back to ur matrimonial home now that he is still begging you. Else the other woman would grab the opportunity and move in.

Anonymous said...

Go back, but set things straight with that man

Anonymous said...

Pls go back.

Anonymous said...

Men are dogs all u need to worry about now is ur health and that of the baby even u decide to go back try and safe enough money for ur child to leave the marriage for good because he will still be sleeping with the other woman only God know what he told her about u

Francis said...

I suggest u go back to ur matrimonial home in the midst of ur anger ,It will take a while for things to b back to normal but i suppose everything happens for a reason,take the good outta the bad . francisruff.blogspot.com

Unknown said...

Please, Biko kindly go back home, there is no situation too difficult for God to handle. Trust him.

Anonymous said...

He's definitely a effing bastard! At this stage i will say give it a go, but be ready that this woman will occasionally show up in your life as she has a kid for your husband. Once you can live with that then its salvageable.
Go home but make it known to him and family that this shit cannot repeat itself. Lay down the rules now cos one little incline that he is dipping there again and its over. And pray that the woman finds her own man, that way she goes away. I'm 38 and i've been married for 15 years so i know what i'm talking about. As a woman we are stronger than we know, you will survive this.

Anonymous said...

Its a pity,but u have to make up your mind and set your priorities right on what u want out of the marraige.as for me I won't go back.

Anonymous said...

My advice 4 u is to pray ova it ask de holy spirit to give u direction on wat step to take nex

Anonymous said...

men sha, pls go back n have ur baby also be very prayerful

Anonymous said...

Go bak home nd fight 4 ur man. Ow sure re u dat da oda woman's pregnancy is his?

Anonymous said...

Please go back home to your husband. No body is above mistakes and as much as i know that what he did was extremely wrong and selfish, trust me when i say that you don't want to push him too far by refusing to come home even though he is begging you, you don't want to know what it feels like to sleep on your bed alone for the rest of your life and you most definitely don't want to be selfish about this and end up putting your sweet baby through the pain of growing up without a father. Finally, i know that the bible says the only condition under which you can get a divorce is through infidelity which your husband is guilty of, but the bible also says that once you divorce him, you will have to remain single until you die or wait for him to die before you can be with another man or get married again. So please do the wise thing of going back home and making him spend the rest of his life making it up to you.
From someone who cares about you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Eyaa this is a tough one o i think since youre already married and pregnant maybe you should just go. Good luck. Remember prayer is the key

Anonymous said...

Sigh!give it time,but what ever decision you make, make sure it has to do with your happiness,not what people are asking you to do or saying about the situation.It is well.

Anonymous said...

Have it back of ur mind that u husband have a second wife don't ever trust him. Pls don't try to get pregnant again for him if the man is an igbo man and other lady gives birth to male child he will value her more than u . The man is wickend he till likes his ex and will continue to sleep with her untill the girl is tired of him

Anonymous said...

please go back God will be with you and vindicate you.

Anonymous said...

Go back to ur matrimonaial home cos all men are cheats u have to bring urself to accept that. I know how u feel but most nigerian men cheat on their wives wats giving u d impression that when u leave him another man u will marry won't still cheat on u?....think about ur unborn baby he or she will need a father find in ur hrt to forgive him and move on. Men are dirty animals. ruth

Anonymous said...

Dear, its quite a sad story and u have the right to be angry but take some time to think abt ur child growing up without a father.single parenting is not easy besides u r the one ur husband wants to build a home with. There r so many challenges in marriage, it cld be worse but u need to go back home but he needs to come make it clear to. And ur family dat he will not hav anything to do with d other girl apart frm raising the child. If it means writing it as a contract of agreement which wil have consequencies if he breaks it but give it a try again

Anonymous said...

Hmm dis is serious mata ooooo but u hv to forgive him but u have to be smart as a serpent. & be wise don't give room 4 d devil to take over ur home & ur joy

ese said...

Dear pls take my advice and go back before the other woman takes over your home also.

★★PRINCE CHARMING™★★ said...

Your child deserves to be under the cover of his father, its better raising a child with your man, its now about forgiving him since he is also begging and giving him another chance, after all he is still your husband and the father of your unborn baby.

LADY IN RED said...

Real sad! i can understand that feeling....BUT marriage is for better for worse so u would have to forgive him,go back home...the lord is ur strength.

VICKY DARL said...

Go back to ur husband...

Anonymous said...

If u don't stay how wud u raise d baby on your own...think lady

Anonymous said...

Wow. You know your husband better. We are not there with you in the marriage to dictate for you. Search ur heart carefully, put aside sentiments and ask urself, is he truly sorry for what he did and is there any possibility of this re-ocurring? Has he truly broken all ties with the lady? This is a very serious issue especially after the lady puts to birth for him. So think about it and weigh your decision carefully. Pele!


See another sad story i read - I was raped by my Father, Uncle, Teacher and Schoolmates” – Lady reveals

Anonymous said...

Go back and tell your hubby to bring the galfrnds baby home,if not expect more babies from them cos he will go and visit in the name of seeing his child. U said dor better or worse,for now this is worse therefore kip to your vow. Welcome to marriage!

RNC said...

Lindaaaaaaaaa u can lie! Slow news day abi? Una come dey form STEWPIT story. Mtscheeeeeeeew

Anywayz if it is indeed true, I advise this madam not to go back to her husband's house. Let her serve him divorce papers and give birth in her parent's house.....then hopefully she'll meet a new guy who will cherish her & make her his 3rd wife #rme

Anonymous said...

sorry for answering your question with another but is he asking you back is he remorseful and repentant is he sorry? if all these answers are yes then consider going back. i really empathize with you. the Lord is your strength.

Anonymous said...

sorry dear...i understand your pain...but i think you should invite him to your parents house for a heartfelt talk and during that discussion ask as many questions ... then go back to your matrimonial home don't give the strange woman an inch to claim anything..btw ur hubby no try o..sleeping with an ex unprotected what if it was HIV he collected....good luck

Anonymous said...

Woman go back oo, no let another woman come collect your husband from you. Also, advice ur husband to collect de child or provide for his up kip and u too shud show love and care to the child just lyk u wud to ur own. If u no go back, de woman go gradually come take ur place and that will not be good for u and ur husband. Go back then pray to God for peace in your home

T.I said...

Don't go back to your husband house, by the time you have your child in your parent house, the ex will be nursing her own child in your so called husband house........In Your Mind you know the right thing to do....If everyone here asked you not to Go back to your Husband house is having your child in your parent house is the best thing for you to do....You better let go because if you have that child in your father house naigbours will call him Bastard!

Anonymous said...

My dear sis,plz go bck 2 ur matrimonial home so far ur husb has realise his mistake & be prayerful.

spesh04 said...

My dear, truth be told, he hurt you so bad and that point has been taken but you will be better off staying in ur marriage and ur matrimonial home dan outside it. If he has shown remorse, 4giv him n continue in ur marriage. Such is life.

Anonymous said...

sorry for answering your question with another but is he asking you back is he remorseful and repentant is he sorry? if all these answers are yes then consider going back. i really empathize with you. the Lord is your strength.

Anonymous said...

Sis go back to your husband. He prefers you to her that's y he ȋ̝̊̅ڪ begging

Chidozie Mario said...

It's quite a difficult situation but you don't have to be angry at yourself. Your husband will have to sort out his ex and her baby while you go back to your rightful place. It's going to take sometime and God's grace, but you have to forgive him. Sometimes men think with their third leg.
Are You On Fakebook?

Anonymous said...

well i will say she should pls go back to her home. since she is the legal wife

Anonymous said...

well i will say she should pls go back to her home. since she is the legal wife

Anonymous said...

The truth be told, the marriage is DEAD! FINISHED!

tobdeg(humongous images) said...

This is a very touching story...I would suggest she goes back..but a family meeting has to be held prior to dat to determine d fate of d oder woman...if not going back might be disastrous especially she can't live with it as in her husband married to d two of dem...thank you

Anonymous said...

Go back to d ur house for now, and have ur baby.

Anonymous said...

You will never find happiness in that marriage. Do whatever makes you happy.

tobdeg(humongous images) said...

This is a very touching story...I would suggest she goes back..but a family meeting has to be held prior to dat to determine d fate of d oder woman...if not going back might be disastrous especially she can't live with it as in her husband married to d two of dem...thank you

segunsd said...

Baby, go back home if your husband loves you and he doesn't beat and maltreat you. Staying away will keep you bitter. Settle it once and for all. My own two cents. Shit happens.

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Anonymous said...

You have to go back, and learn to forgive him, remeber noone is perfect....if u don't the other lady might end up moving in wiv ur husband and u will loose him finally and also pray about it...he might or might not be the person for u

Anonymous said...

Go back home dear. God will grant you the grace to truly forgive him and move on. Marriage is two forgivers living together. He wants you back, dont push him away. You will be the one breaking your home if you dont go back. please do.

Anonymous said...

If he slept with her before you got married, how come you're 6 months and she's 5? Did you sleep with him before marriage too?

Anonymous said...

I will advise u go back and have ur baby there and be prayerful so that d evil one will not steal ur joy. Men they will never stop

Unknown said...

Wow!!! As much as I would tell you to shut him out for life,remember you are with child and it's best to bring up a child with both parents. So pls give it another chance ma,to err is human but to totally forgive is truly divine. May HE grant you the grace to pull through in Jesus name.Amen!!!!!

P.S. But your hubby wicked oo....doing both wifey αϞð ex simultaneously....#Pathetic

Queen Bee said...

Go back home before the other woman Take over ur home.that's her plan in the first place!

Anonymous said...

I advise you go back home. But make sure the issue of the other lady id properly sorted out. If you leave your home the intruder will take over completely. Be guided. Keep your home

Ezmes said...

You shouldn't leave that house for another woman to take over the home you are just starting to build. This is one of those challenges of marital life, and you would have to face and conquer such by being resolute in staying with your husband. Marriage is not a bed of roses; ups and downs, turbulent times and aggressive moments. Be fast and go back to your husband and sort out how the other woman should never surface in your home.

Mama K said...

No, dont go.....stay for ya papa house make another woman enter ur husband house and born there........

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Quite unfortunate u found urself in such precarious.
But u hold the key to ur new happiness and comeback,and these u can attain speedily by bearing in mind that no one is infallible,and everybody deserves a benefit of doubt and a second chance.
quitting ur marriage at this point in time will not be d best of decisions,putting into consideration the fact that u're having his baby.
since he's been able to show remorse,I pray its a sincere one,I suggest for ur greater gud and dfuture of ur baby it will do u so much gud if u give him a second chance,with some conditions. above all take it to God in prayer.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

Anonymous said...

My dear, I know that you are angry, but you have to quit it and go claim your man before the other lady takes over fully. this is probably what she has been waiting for.

your husband did not do well by sleeping with his ex a month before your wedding and again unluckily for him, he got her pregnant and she is keeping it.but your marriage is still holy and sacred since it was done before you both stood on the altar to pledge.

for the love of God and for the love you have for him and your unborn child, carry yourself back to him and make things work.
you won't be the first lady to have a husband that has another baby outside but u can make a difference. the Lord is your strength, ask Him to heal and help you..hold on to Him.

God bless!

AY2012 said...

count urself lucky to have known earlier,it doesnt actually matter anymore.
You dont know wat will happen if u opt out completely for another devil u dont know.he is begging so go back home

Anonymous said...

My dear, please go back to your matrimonial home and make your marriage work. The truth is that your hubby isn't the first and won't b the last to get a woman pregnant especially an ex! Pls go back home. It is unfortunate what happened has happened,- put it all in prayers to God! I don't know why a woman would go back to her ex especially when he left her and married another! If you are not good enuff for marriage, what is the point getting pregnant and having a baby for him.... Intact y even open ur legs for him

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Quite unfortunate u found urself in such precarious.
But u hold the key to ur new happiness and comeback,and these u can attain speedily by bearing in mind that no one is infallible,and everybody deserves a benefit of doubt and a second chance.
quitting ur marriage at this point in time will not be d best of decisions,putting into consideration the fact that u're having his baby.
since he's been able to show remorse,I pray its a sincere one,I suggest for ur greater gud and dfuture of ur baby it will do u so much gud if u give him a second chance,with some conditions. above all take it to God in prayer.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

Anonymous said...

my dear go home and make peace with ur husband

Anonymous said...

my dear go back not because of your husband or parents go back because of your unborn child let the child know that you wnet back to give him/her a second chance of a happy and functional home.
So long as there is no physical/mental abuse go back and let tthem know that you are above them! in fact collect the child outside into your home.Develop yourself so you can financially stand on your own.(do your own thing for you and your children)

Anonymous said...

hmmm,its a hard decision to make,but for me i will say u shld go bck for ur baby,dnt let ur baby growup nt having the tutorship of a father.

Anonymous said...

forgive him. go back and let your child have a father. ain't easy being a single parent.

Anonymous said...

My dear, I know it must be hard for you right now to want to even talk to him. But remember the good times you must have had together, I mean something must have made you marry him in the first place. Give him a second chance.

Anonymous said...

u need to go back sweetheart no matter what,that y its for better for worse

↭PRINCE JOBLESS↭ said...

Go back and reclaim what you rightly own. He might be a changed person now so give him a second chance. Leaving your matrimonial home with your unborn child is just so sad.
Your husband made a mistake; everybody makes mistakes, fatal mistakes, preventable mistakes and silly mistakes. Don't use that as an excuse to leave the man you love. He's asked for forgiveness so give him one last chance. Two wrongs doesn't make a right. Leaving your house won't bring any positives to your life.

Anonymous said...

First of all, if he was sleeping with her n got her pregnant, honey she was never an ex, she was n still is one of his girlfriends. N as it is now will be his concubine.ex is wen u r no longer dating or sleepin with someone. He's a liar. Once u have d baby pls move on. Don't go back to that marriage o

Anonymous said...

Rly confused too but pls go bk to ur husband's house for d sake of ur unborn child .Linda pls post my comment

Crystal said...

My dear, pls go back home.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lib reader, YES you should go back to him because of your unborn child. It appears you both (you & his ex) got pregnant before your wedding. Forgiveness may be hard but please do not let pride get in your way. Raising a child alone (even if you have an extremely supportive family) is very hard and demanding. You have to give you marriage a good try and fight for it. Yes the 'other woman' will always be in your life but it will get easier with time. It's all too easy to back out now. As for your husband it's pettiful that he would do this all I can say is work on forgiveness ,work on your marriage and go back home.

Anonymous said...

My dear, it is not an easy one, but please run back to your home, i didnt say go i said run, if her intention was not to break up your home, the news of the prgnancy wont be out by now, please home home, forgive him and have your baby in good health, God will grant you safe deliver, you and your child will be alive, this stress will not affect you, please go back, its you he married, so stay with him and have a home, this is not the first time this is happening, please go home and comit your home to God and fight the enemy from within, u cant fight from outside and no matter what anybody tells u, it is not easy to raise a child alone!!! Go back and God be with you, turn it all to Jesus and that tears will turn to joy!

Anonymous said...

Your marriage ended even before you you got married to this WICKED man. Sad, but that's the truth.

Ciara said...

Since he hasnt gottin married to dat ex of his even after impregnanting her, i advise u give him a 2nd chance. If u ask me, i il say dat d man is urs. Aunty Linda pls post my comment for once.

Anonymous said...

Though he has betrayed ur trust, do find it in ur to forgive him, to err is human and to forgive is divine, moreso, the did has been done.Stand firm and try not to injure urself & d unborn baby,ensure u pray always. ***IKB***

tobdeg(humongous images) said...

This is a very touching story...I would suggest she goes back..but a family meeting has to be held prior to dat to determine d fate of d oder woman...if not going back might be disastrous especially she can't live with it as in her husband married to d two of dem...thank you

stayhigh said...

You just have 2 go back,u have a right to be angry but don't let d devil take his place by allowing dat woman to come in. Pls just 4give ur husband and start afresh, God will give u direction.

Anonymous said...

there is nothing to be angry about, yes it is very painful, trust betrayed, love lost and so on.. but my dear, thats life.. you are married with vows, you must keep them, he remains your husband till death do you part. go back to your matrimonial home if for nothing for God and for your unborn child. And pray for strength from God, because you really need it... i wish you success and Gods grace.

Anonymous said...

Go back home dear woman.some women have gone thru and are going thru worse.just last week,my uncle's wife packed out cuz her husband(my uncle) has been sleeping with her 17year old relative for like 4years,on their matrimonial home.I dont even want to get into what my own parents go thru.in as much as this scares me,I cant wait for the day I'll get married.good for u,u are expecting,yr baby will wipe away yr tears,unlike my inlaw in question who is over 40 and has no child.be strong!
Princess!

Mena UkodoisReady said...

The choice is between living as a single mother or as part of a polygamous setting. chikena

Real Advice: http://efemenaoreoluwa.blogspot.com/2013/01/real-lives-victim-of-domestic-abuse.html

Yele said...

You need to go back and give your marriage a "working" chance, i.e.not going back with the grudge and anger. Know fully well that the other lady is willing to move into your home if your husband calls her in, so go back and be with your husband.
After you both might have delivered, discuss with your husband on what he wants to do as per the other baby's financial support, you need to do that together.

omopepper said...

My dear.. Its difficult but u wud av to go back.. There has been a recent stigma on children from broken homes.sure u wudnt want that for ur child. Pls as long as ur husband feels remorseful u shud forgive him. That is the reason u married him. He is ur hus-band, so tie him arud u cos witout u, he is nobody. Thanks

jaygidi said...

Is ur husband 2face broda?... Sharp shooter tho, anyways u know dat man wud continue cheating on u, it depends on how much ur heart can take, bt marriage is 4 beta 4 worse, u don enta u don enta,ur child needs a father n u stil love d man, so carry on sha..God go help una

Pegzy said...

My dear, marriage is a big tym commitment, 4 beta 4 worse, 2 me u wldn't ve even left @ d 1st plc, itz sumtin u ve 2 deal wit, ur husband is ur cross 2 bear, so my dear go nd arrange ur family b4 itz 2 late, itz al in ur hands, u're a woman, we make home remember...

Anonymous said...

Pour acid on ur hussy.......gbam!

Anonymous said...

Since ur hubby is beggin, then go bck..... D most important tin in marriage is luv..... Ad 4 d sake of ur child.....

Kate Archibong said...

Go back and keep ur house in order! He is married to u not her! If u leave, the other woman takes charge of ur home! So be wise and apply wisdom with understanding! Above all is ur life! Ur choice! We can't tell u what to do!

Anonymous said...

My advice for you is that you should go back home becos if not the other woman will not hesitate to move in. Just make your husband promise you to stop seeing her although he has to care for her in her state too, he should only send money into her account. By the time the kid is 2yrs old he should bring the child home and you treat the kid like one of your own. Above all, go to God in prayer and ask for wisdom.

Anonymous said...

My dear, i cant imagine the disappointment and betrayal u re feeling but one thing u should know is that u are a woman and having a kid outside your matrimonial home in this our society is as tough one. Dont let the other woman win, he married you for a reason not her. so pls dont make her destroy your life. if u still love your husband and he is really repentant go back and start again. mend things and make it work, you never know. this is just a major temptation pls try to fight it instead of making it defeat u. Linda pls post my comment o!!!!! first comment

Yele said...

You need to go back and give your marriage a "working" chance, i.e.not going back with the grudge and anger. Know fully well that the other lady is willing to move into your home if your husband calls her in, so go back and be with your husband.
After you both might have delivered, discuss with your husband on what he wants to do as per the other baby's financial support, you need to do that together.

Anonymous said...

Do u still love him? If yes, you can forgive him espercially if his apologies are genuine and he promises never to repeat the same mistake. Also, are you ready to accept his other child as part of the family? That's something u have to consider. Love covereth a multitude of sins so if u still love him, u will accept him and his mistakes.

Anonymous said...

Go back to your man, forgive him and make your home work. He wants you back, so don't give room for the other woman.its not going to be easy, but you just have to. Remember its 'for better for worse'.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear this. Its such a shame to find urself in this situation. I think u shoud consider going back,what's done is done. Give ur marriage a chance and pray u have a male child first,if not u will fell sad for the rest of ur life bcos the woman wants to reap where she has not sown. She wants to hold on to ur man.show her who is in charge.as for ur man ...no word.

Anonymous said...

Yes I think no matter what happen u still have to go back rememeber your vow at d altar for better for worst * I know u feel pain and what he did was bad forgive him and think about your unborn baby

Anonymous said...

My advice is that u should go back to ur husband,pray about it and pretend like the other woman doesn't exit.

Anonymous said...

YES U MUST GO BACK....I am writing this in bold because I want you to go back to your matrimonial home.Now is the time to THINK WITH UR HEAD AND NOT UR HEART ANYMORE.The other woman is praying dat u never come back.DO NOT TURN UR UNBORN BABY INTO A CHILD FROM A BROKEN HOME.Go back home NOW even d birth of ur baby and have the last laugh...The mistake has been made...u are hurt I know,but don't allow a strange woman's child take the position that rightly belongs to ur child.PLEASE ACT NOW.

Yele said...

You need to go back and give your marriage a "working" chance, i.e.not going back with the grudge and anger. Know fully well that the other lady is willing to move into your home if your husband calls her in, so go back and be with your husband.
After you both might have delivered, discuss with your husband on what he wants to do as per the other baby's financial support, you need to do that together.

Anonymous said...

Pls madam go back to your home. That's where u belong. Its 4beta 4worse. Else d oda woman will take ur place

Anonymous said...

Men and thir ways, very horrible, SInce ur husband wants u back, I advise u go back to ur matrimonial home. After all he choose to marry u and not the ex. The problem here is this problem might linger cos his attention is already divided raising two homes.

Bisola said...

Please dont let another woman enjoy what you have laboured for! Easier said than done but pls go back to your home! God is the only 1 that can heal your hurt & help you forgive him! I'm truly sorry u r going thru this! MEN! Forgive him, forgivness is for u & not him, plus you have a baby on the way, think about your health!

Anonymous said...

Stay there, don't go back to ur huband when one million and one other women are looking for huband , u will blame yourslef .

Unknown said...

Hmm MEN OF NOWADAYS ONLY GOD CAN SAVE US FROM THEM.....THEY ARE WICKED THAN DEVIL

Omas992 said...

If you chose to go back, you will NEVER be happy with him. This was not a mistake, he knew exactly what he was doing. I can feel your hurt. Marriage is suppose to be enjoyed, not endured.

Anonymous said...

Please go back to Ūя̲̅ matrimonial home.Do not give †ђξ devil †ђξ chance to take what belongs to U̶̲̥̅̊'.

D lady of peace said...

Na wa ooo,my dear ur in a delimma dats understandable,buh believe u me d earlier u go bak 2 ur home d beta 4 u,2 err ishuman and 2 4gv is divine,since hes sorr 4 wot hes done try and gv hm a 2nd chanc b4 d oda lady buys him off,noo one is perfect u myt mek ur own mistake 2moro,pls give peace a chance,as 4 d oda lady she wl conttinue beenn d ex dt she med her selfanand i pray u dnt use dis on ur man weneva u both fall out,pls 4 loves sakego bak

Anonymous said...

Very sorry for ds. most importantly don't blame urself. we alw tend to feel ds way but just feel it for a short while. cry cry cry ur eyes out BUTonly for a while. u hav d answer in u. forget all d SUPPOSE TO answers. supposed2forgive,suppose to born in matrimonial home,suppose to b wife. Do what U want... life will alws bring good things ur way so trust it. shame shame on him. at ds early stage of ur life together he messes up. He's definitely not over her&now she has deeper roots. if u r ready to go thru all ds details for d rest of ur life. take him back... good luck.

FAAIS said...

pls forgive him cos of your on born child.

dolf said...

Pls go an drop dat baby in his/her fathers house, so dt u people don't start telling him/her stories after 12yrs

Yele said...

You need to go back and give your marriage a "working" chance, i.e.not going back with the grudge and anger. Know fully well that the other lady is willing to move into your home if your husband calls her in, so go back and be with your husband.
After you both might have delivered, discuss with your husband on what he wants to do as per the other baby's financial support, you need to do that together.

ðmr diamond said...

My dear,go bak to ur huasband dnt u kno ur givein the other woman a space to enter into ur family more and more after all ur husband weded u and that makes u his ligal wife u stayin away frm him means aceptin bein difited the other woman is jst a concubin as far as am concind

Anonymous said...

My dear u beta go back to ur husband and take ur rightful place by his side. Do it now before its to late

Anonymous said...

Its better for you to go back to your husband because you are legally married to him and no one should take your place.

Bimz said...

Well I feel ur pains but just cast ur worries, pains on Holy Spirit and He will ease it and comfort you. Marriage is for better for worse, pls go back to ur home and do not allow any strange woman to take over your home! Time heals all wound trust me urs will not be an exception!keep praying to God, forgive ur husband and let go of bitterness! Am sure you will thank God at d end of d day besides ur hubby is also remorseful! Pls my dear go back home ooo! God bless you

Anonymous said...

my sister pls go back and marry your hubby nobody is perfect

POSH said...

Go back to him since he is repentant,ur marriage is still very young for u to yeild to such temptation. Be strong n Pray!

Anonymous said...

Lady you knew your husband was still seeing his ex and you still went on with the marriage because of what reason? Well am not her to criticise but all I can stay is give him and ur marriage a second chance and see wat happens again. He has made a mistake likewise u but dat doesn't mean he won't be the father of your unborn-child. Just take heart and pray everything would be alright.


Natural B

Anonymous said...

I don't blame you my dear i feel your pain some of this men can be so useless what an idiot of a man no be small humiliation.

Anonymous said...

Go back home young lady. its your home. if he was wife beater i would say, stay away. he got a lady pregnant, fine, deal with it, suck it up and go take back your home.

Anonymous said...

Dis looks like a hints magazine story joor...

meshy said...

Comments on this Blog can make you more confused, but my advise is what has happen as happen, my dear go back home....its your home your marriage is for better for worse.

Anonymous said...

I must say dis story is confusing in its self becos ur dates r distorted.If u say ur husband impregnated his ex a mth to ur wedding,n @ 1 point u sd u were 6mths preg n she 5mth,does dat mean u were preg like 2 mths b4 weddin ni?Wel anyways 2 deal wit d issue-I must say u got urself in2 a stupid marriage mayb out oof desperatn or watever.If u knew b4 wedg dt he wz havin a ting wit his ex u shld av broken off even if it a wk 2 d wedg.A broken engagement is beta d a broken mariage.nw dat u r in it n pregnant 4 him n his begging u,pls go back home n make d best out of ur mistake bcos acording 2 d bible God hates divorce.Those ppl beggin knw y dey r askg u to come back hom.God wil grant u d grace to over com.I'm a victim too bt my case is bad bcos I don't av a child n he has outside afta yrs of marriage did I find out.I had to accept my cros n I'm stil happily married to him.May God grant u d wisdom to do d rite thing

Anonymous said...

Wow i feel ur pain. Its really confusing. u really need God's wisdom and direction.

Anonymous said...

Dear, jst fogive nd 4gt...it hard but jst try. Pls, can som1 in d house help me wit d meanin of d acronyms: OMG, MTCHEW, LMAO,nd SMH. Tnx.

Anonymous said...

Pls I advise u go back to ur husband and leave everytin for God.

lily said...

my sister pls go back and marry your hubby no one is perfect

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmmmm,its complicated. But I'll say since he's legally married to you,you are his original wife. J

Anonymous said...

for the sake of your on born child pls forgive him.

Anonymous said...

Wait!!!so u knew he was sleeping with her even till around your wedding date??why do we women like causing so much humiliation for ourselves ?of course he won't stop sleeping with her even after she gives birth because uv allowed it .you allowed him to continue while u were dating and u expect him to change nw???dont know what to advise here really

Unknown said...

All dz exes...na wao! Are u sure u did not force urself on him all because u want 2 be a married woman? God will see u through but my advice is 2 get on ur knees and cry out to God, believe me he will sort his ex(d intruder/husband snatcher) out! Go back 2 ur home, dnt let dat ex take ur husband away from u and remember u are carrying his baby,also ask God for forgiveness may be karma came calling cos sometimes Karma can remind u of what u did some years back. may God be with u and give u peace in ur marriage..its well..

Anonymous said...

My dear go back o!don't let another woman push you out of your matrimonial home,forgive en forget en go en ressurrect that marriage,draw closer to God too

Anonymous said...

D point here is dt u guys r already married, so give it anoda chance, for d baby's sake

@yohannaglory on twitter

Anonymous said...

Eeya, i feel sad for you. But pls dont be disappointed in ursef, you never knew it would be like this. Pls go back to ur matrimonialhome, dont give the other woman the space to occupy. it hurts, yes, bt am sure it will hurt you more if she eventually moves into your home. Please go back home, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee.

charity said...

4 beta 4 worse ma dear,d deed has already bn done, such is life so deal wit it , my only advice 4 u is 4 u 2 be more concern abt ur baby. Jst dat tins can neva b dsame again. Cheers dear.I can feel ur pain.

Anonymous said...

Its nt easy to wake up one morning to find out ur husband is having another child else where bt as it is nw, d deed has already been done so if u feel he is repentant enough then u can give it another try. Everybody deserves a second chance, we all make mistakes therefore its left to us to make the better of mistakes.

Unknown said...

your husband's home is ur home don't let a second hand drive u away from it because u will end up regretting it, forgive him cos u ain't doing him a favor but urself.

Anonymous said...

Babe abeg go back home cos before u know it the Ex will pack into ur home, u are the legal wife, even if u get home try and forgive ur hubby and have a good relationship so that ur home can work.

Anonymous said...

D deed has bin done dear.....as sad as it is,u hav 2 go bak...its 4 beta or worse.try 2 talk 2 him nd u all shuld sit nd settle evrytin,bt stayin @ ur parents is nt d best.Lilybabe

Anonymous said...

Linda I will advice her to go back to her home cos leaving her home means giving da devil more opportunity to do more danger bt she must be prayerful so it does not happen again nd try as much to accept wut has happened thou its not dat easy!!!! Wish her da best.....

Anonymous said...

my dear, go back. anyhow marriage be, we all go rough and come out successful.... you cant desert your homes for cheap fools, who love to reap where they didn't sow.

Anonymous said...

WOW!!! NOT EVEN UP TO A YEAR OF MARRIAGE..... BUT HOW CUD HE HAVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIS EX TILL MARRIAGE AND U DIDNT KNOW.... NOW TO D ISSUE AT END... U SWORE FOR BETTER FOR WORSE... IF HE'S REALLY REPENTANT....LIKE SINCERELY APOLOGETIC.. AND NOT JST APOLOGETIC COS OF THE SHAME OF IMPREGNATING ANODA WOMAN..IF HE'S REALLY APOLOGETIC COS HE LOVES U, TAKE HIM BACK ON UR OWN TERMS.... LIKE STATING WOT AND WOT U CANNOT STAND AS REGARDS THE OTHER WOMAN.... IF HE AGREES TO UR TERMS, DEN FINE.. IF NOT... LE WALK AWAY ...

Anonymous said...

Sweet@ go back home... That devil got pregnant on purpose 2 get you out n move in... Men always cheat but your man was just unfortunate.... Be very prayerful and pray for him... Give your child a home!!!

Anonymous said...

Pray to God and he only will tell you what to do. That's what women get these days bunch of unfaithful lying men. God help us, i keep telling people, marriage doesn't answer all, be really careful and forget society cos at the end of the day its you and only you that will face the music, make sure u are getting married for the right reasons. I pray God helps you.

Anonymous said...

please go back God will be with you and vindicate you.

Anonymous said...

Dear I feel for you and nobody will judge you if u choose to leave bcos it is d highest betrayal in marriage and not everybody will stay. But if choose to stay,bear in mind dat his ex will be a part of ur mmarrige forever bcos of their child. Secondly,whoever had d guts to cheat once will do it again whenever d reason arises. Choose wisely

Anonymous said...

I guess u shud go home

Unknown said...

Hmmmm So annoying, All the same you are the wife, so you need to go back to your home. Do not give devil the chance.

Anonymous said...

Some Men re sooo useless,pls jst go back home since his beging u.moreova u need him nw more dan eva b4 wit ur present condition so pls go home and put d devil to shame.

Unknown said...

Hmmmm So annoying, All the same you are the wife, so you need to go back to your home. Do not give devil the chance.

Nwadiuto said...

Its a dicey situation, if you stay out she may move in and you may hate yourself even more. has your husband shown true remorse for his actions. Forgive him and give him a second chance but if he strays again pls drop him like a hot potato

Anonymous said...

Go back to ur husband if you dont mind being in a polygamous marriage. He did not have the respect to leave her while u guys dated. I'm shocked u even went ahead to marry a man u know was actively sleeping with his ex up until ur wedding day.

Now the home wrecking whore has found a way to permanently be in ur lives forever. So since u have tolerated and put up with it till ur marriage u might as well die there.

However if u know u did not sign up for this BS and u consider urself a strong black woman deserving only the best, start building a new life and leave the philandering bastard and his ex. He obviously loves her too much to let her go.

Anonymous said...

I deduce you apparently knew he was sleeping with her while you were courting? and what - he is so so fucking sweet you couldn't let go on those grounds abi? becos you were sleeping with him as well. what - did i hear you say "dont judge me"? heck you've done yourself in already - without needing anyone's help. not to mock you - i have no such intentions, being a woman myself. I'm just spelling it out to you the way it is. Stop forming all self-righteous - what's the anger for? you were sleeping with him, you knew he was sleeping with someone else, and men have finished on the surface of the earth? how in the world did you think anything would change after "I do"? My dear, perish the anger and confusion sharp sharp - you've made your bed, get comfortable in it. Stop being a burden to your parents and get on with the interesting game already. Look on the bright side - after you've had your baby ehn, mundane matters would reduce in significance i tell you. Your joy at motherhood should keep you sufficiently occupied. and while at it do ensure he doesnt give you HIV okay? like hell you need to stay alive to raise your child, and you still probably mean the world to your family. Be careful with yourself. God Help you.

Anonymous said...

For the sake of the unborn child please go home

Anonymous said...

U better go back if not d other woman wil enter and have upper hand.delay is dangereous

Anonymous said...

Go back home. For better, for worse.

Anonymous said...

WOW!! NOT EVEN UP TO ONE YEAR OF MARRIAGE.. BUT HOW CUD UR HUSBAND HAVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIS EX TILL HIS WEDDING NIGHT AND U DINT KNOW..U MEAN THERE WERE NO CLUES, OR U CHOSE TO IGNORE THEM....ANYWAY U SWORE FOR BETTER FOR WORSE.. IF UR HUSBAND IS REALLY APOLOGETIC AND NOT JST BEGGING COS OF THE SHAME HE FEELS FOR IMPREGNATING ANOTHER WOMAN..IF HE'S SINCERELY SORRY BECAUSE HE LOVES U, THEN TAKE HIM BACK.. BUT ON UR OWN TERMS.. LIKE STATING TO HIM WOT IT IS U CAN TAKE AND CANNOT TAKE AS REGARDS THE OTHER WOMAN AND HER CHILD... AND IF HE AGREES TO THE TERMS, FINE..IF NOT, LE WALK AWAY.. PRAY ABOUT IT TOO AND ASK GOD FOR DIRECTION.. U CANNOT C POME AND KILL URSELF AND YOUR BABYLZ.

Anonymous said...

Wao,Mehnnn!!This is a tough one,married LIBers pls advise this woman

emmy said...

Some Men are really wicked sha and d only thing dt pains me is dt women are always @ d receiving end of everything. Anyways wat else will we advice u bt to forgive him and give him a second chance. Tke hrt

Anonymous said...

Ayinkus eja nipe na real battle d lady go fight o, cos weda she likes or not her hubby get pikin out, and aside dat d ex looks desperate too

Anonymous said...

Wats wit d ex,he left u n married someone else yet U̶̲̥̅̊ are still sleeping wit him.My dear go back home n posses ur home ur child is legit ok

Anonymous said...

Dear woman, I advise you go back to your husband and give him a second chance. Leaving your matrimonial home will only create space for the other woman to move in and take over.. Even though I don't support your husbands actions, if he wanted his ex so much he would be married to her and not you.. Men can just be stupid and unreasonable sometimes. Please give him another chance and give ur unborn child the opportunity to grow up with a father and mother

Anonymous said...

My dear it will b difficult for u t accept and trust him again. Bt d most important part is acceptin him back even if u don't trust him again. Ur baby needs a home so do u.I hav seen wher it happened d husband had t marry d oda woman too.dear it is difficulty bt forgive nd try t make it work. D most important tin is make sure u ar independent from his fiancial grip dat way u hav self confidence.take heart.miss shikena

confessor said...

Na wa!!All I can say is am ANGRY too

Anonymous said...

U better go back o. No dulling. It's no longer newz, it happens every month. No lele. Go back to ur husband's house and focus on how to deliver ur baby safely. Anyway, sorry it happened to u.

Anonymous said...

pls go back

Anonymous said...

Please go back..... But only on the condition that all other contact wiv d ex shld stop! He shld get his kid from her and move on. Mscheew.... Yeye man.

Anonymous said...

If u weren't pregnant,I may have supported u staying at ur parents. But truth be told,you should go back to your matrimonial home for your baby and yourself too. As for your husband,he needs to sign an sworn affidavit never to marry the other woman&the only relationship he will have with her is to be responsible for his unborn child.you and you alone should be his legal wife&then hand him over to God on the alter of marriage. Should he cheat on you again,let God judge him. Zurielle's opinion

Anonymous said...

Please go back ,but find out if he is willing to have you back as his wife. Just because of the baby. Quite an unfortunate sitaution! Peace

Anonymous said...

Mehn! M as confused as U̶̲̥̅̊. Cuz if U̶̲̥̅̊ go bk whoz 2 say he won't cheat again n if U̶̲̥̅̊ don't.....U̶̲̥̅̊ made a vow, 4 beta or 4 worse. If I don't gerrout of my. "Relatnshp" wiv my ex m sure I'll be in this situation...I bind n cast in Jesus name.

Anonymous said...

Wow!dunno wat2say,I swear!

Cynthia said...

I'm not writing any comment!!! All my comments on previous stories were not published!! You think it's easy to come up with reasonable comments, huh? All you do is hunt for news and post them, we do the logical thinking and analysis then you won't publish them! It's bad Linda, very bad. I'm so angry with you right now. Therefore, No comment.

Anonymous said...

Dear woman, I advise you go back to your husband and give him a second chance. Leaving your matrimonial home will only create space for the other woman to move in and take over.. Even though I don't support your husbands actions, if he wanted his ex so much he would be married to her and not you.. Men can just be stupid and unreasonable sometimes. Please give him another chance and give ur unborn child the opportunity to grow up with a father and mother

nwa said...

Pls go back .I have d same prob too.my husb pregnted one woman in S.A pls forgive him they all d same.

Onifade Felicia Seyi said...

please my dear, do go back to matrimonial home. Don't allow another woman take your home and position. Remember, marriage is for better for worse, so no matter the situation, ur home is ur home. the only thing to do is to commend it into the hands of God and let God handle the case. i wish u well.

from seyi.

Anonymous said...

That must hurt a lot...but I think you should give the marriage a chance...you are probably too young to be a single mother....what I wouldnt tolerate is physical abuse...but this....I think you can get through it if he is really willing to try.

Anonymous said...

Please go back

Unknown said...

My friend go bak to ur husband's house since he got her pregnant before ur weddin nt after ur weddin.go and sort tins out with ur husby.I wish u de best in ur marriage.

Anonymous said...

My dear as much as I am 4 women liberation n all, dis is 9ja! GO BACK! B4 anoda woman takes ova ur home! Ur husband is an a**hole bt give ur marraige a 2nd chance n ur baby a home,dat oda woman z probably even deceived by ur husband n is even in a more terrible situation dan u! Her ultimate goal is probably how 2 get ur husband,pls go bk n try 1 more tym. La cute la gal

Supaflygirl said...

Pleaseeeeeeee...i beg you in the name of God, just go back..it's not easy been a single mom and it won't be easy especially for your child..forgive him, tho i know it's hard..

Anonymous said...

Hello ma,pls go back to your hubby's house as far as he is doing the responsibility on the child and yourself.Don't leave ur home for one useless lady and let your hubby convince you that such will never happen again.take heart and the lord is your strenght.you will deliver likke the hebrew women IJN.

Anonymous said...

my dear, go back. anyhow marriage be, we all go rough and come out successful.... you cant desert your homes for cheap fools, who love to reap where they didn't sow.

Anonymous said...

Pls go back to Ur Matrimonia Home b4 d oda lady takes ur place..

Anonymous said...

My dear don't live with the hurt for the rest of your life, remember he didnt lie to you about not have sex with another woman after your wedding. Forgive him and go back home$

Anonymous said...

Go back, b4 d ex moves in with her own child. U end up being a single mum. Beta her than u being outside & be getting crumbs 4 u & ur kid. MEN!! *angry face*

Anonymous said...

I think you should have taken steps back, when you noticed he was still sleeping with the girl just before your wedding,by that I mean you shld have stopped the wedding.
If he is BEGGING you to come home,it could mean that he loves you, after all he chose you, if you are a christian you know God's stand on divorce " Not possible" besides you don't live just for yourself anymore, you have your baby to consider.
Think about it very well, PRAY HARD, forgive and move forward.IT IS THE PATH YOU HAVE CHOSEN

Anonymous said...

I think you should have taken steps back, when you noticed he was still sleeping with the girl just before your wedding,by that I mean you shld have stopped the wedding.
If he is BEGGING you to come home,it could mean that he loves you, after all he chose you, if you are a christian you know God's stand on divorce " Not possible" besides you don't live just for yourself anymore, you have your baby to consider.
Think about it very well, PRAY HARD, forgive and move forward.IT IS THE PATH YOU HAVE CHOSEN

Anonymous said...

Please go back to your husband's house. I'm begging you. Bella.

gracielicious gracié said...

My dear..ur story almst brought tears to my eyes..so sorry abt it..i'm not married yet and i dnt knw wat û are goin 2ru but i'll advise û give him a second chance..and PLS û can see a marriage counselor..

Nike said...

My dear, I am a big feminist but I have to say this: in marriage, there is only one rule, do not stay if there is any physical violence. If you love him, if you truly love him, then it is okay to go back to him and make your marriage work. I also had nearly the same issue but there was no pregnancy. You have left your home and he has come to the realization that he needs you in his life and he wants you back. Try and make it work, I don't think it will ever happen again.

Anonymous said...

I guess you are a christain and u go to church!!! Please and Please take your case to the Lord and discuss it with ur father in the Lord!!! Not bloggers

BIG FISH * said...

Go Back to ur Home... Dere is a reason he married u and not his ex....U re d Home.'STILL WATCHING FROM MY OCEAN'

BIG FISH * said...

Go Back to ur Home... Dere is a reason he married u and not his ex....U re d Home.'STILL WATCHING FROM MY OCEAN'

Unknown said...

U DON'T HAVE A CHOICE THAN TO GO BLACK AND RECONCLY

Anonymous said...

I will advise you go back to your home but before that, your husband must make an open (possibly a court) declaration that he will not marry the Ex.

Anonymous said...

My dear, marriage is a commitment and a convenant, if ur husband really wants u back, u have to work it out with him n go back. Try seeing a counsellor both of u, a Pastor that u trust is good n receive counsel. And as for the other lady talk to her woman to woman and hear her own side of the story.

Unknown said...

i think the best thing is to go back and reconcly,just accept that its has been writing

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