Dear LIB readers: birth control is not working for me | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Wednesday 2 January 2013

Dear LIB readers: birth control is not working for me

From a LIB reader
My husband looked at me last night and said 'this is a new year, the day you deny me of sex again will mark the end of our marriage.'
Let me go back to how my husband and I got here. I have four kids. The initial plan was for us to have just two. The third child was unplanned. And just seven months after I gave birth to my third child I became pregnant again though I was on birth control. My last pregnancy made me so depressed that I contemplated having an abortion several times. My doctor talked me out of it. 
I started taking birth control pills after the second child was born but I've since had two more children that wasn't planned for so now I'm paranoid and I constantly give excuses whenever my husband wants sex. If I get pregnant again, I'd probably kill myself. But my husband has threatened to end the marriage if I keep denying him sex. I don't want anymore children and birth control is not working for me. What do I do?

242 comments:

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Anonymous said...

its called tubaligation. it helped me. my husband and I enjoy sex now without any fairs

Anonymous said...

Gud evnin madam... Knowledge is power... Get educated about sex and take a time out to talk it wit ur husband.. Sex is 1 tin God created to b enjoyed in marriage nd denying him wud nt only cus u ur marriage bt ur happiness and d esteem of ur kids... He may nt divorce u bt he cud go out nd am sure u won't b happy to hear or see dat happen... And who knws, wen u may b ready to give him,he may av caught STD ready to give u... Pls pray abt all dis!!! No matter how effective medicine is, it can fail ther is only 1 tin dat I knw can't fail nd dats d word of God which is God himself... Y nt tell it to God, pray anytime he asks 4 it... U two kneel nd pray, remind God of his word tell him u are fulfilling d desire of each oda as he commanded but dnt want any issue... I bet u God won't disappoint u... Am a living witness of who God is... Dnt remove ur womb dats wat makes u a woman.

Anonymous said...

Is it by force to comment? Must u insult her? Sigh!

Anonymous said...

U need preventive measures to control ur english mehn. Its terrible!

Anonymous said...

Is english language that difficult?

Anonymous said...

Shikenan!!!!! And forget about stress and depression. Don't mind your husband , it is FAMILY PLANNING not women plannig. Men are just plain selfish and immature on this matters. Take care of ursef Jare and God bless d four kids u have.

Anonymous said...

"tie your womb" ke?

Anonymous said...

Gbam! You be true 9ja woman or a service provider.

Anonymous said...

Ewu, aturu. Nama like you. From which zoo did you run away ? Yeye dey smell

Anonymous said...

So are u

Unknown said...

Dnt blame dat man, am sure dis woman didn't tell him about dis cos I cn read frm her story of different excuses givn to her husband... Ao can u d9 ur husband of sex, dats like ua pushing him out of d marriage... No mata wht d case maybe u cnt d9 him of sex, he's just a youngman who is not comlaining of wht ua complaining.

If u need to stop birth perm or temp, meet ur doctor for other options.

Blunt Queen said...

I agree

Anonymous said...

Seriously

Anonymous said...

STFU!
And when she has over 20 children, will you send money to take care of them or do you even know her health condition? You and her husband kuku fit. Goat!

Unknown said...

#Gbam.....cos most of us don't have the knowledge.

Anonymous said...

That's harsh.

Anonymous said...

The implant is really good and that's what's I've been using for 2 years now.It doesn't take more than 5 to 10 mins to insert(by a professional,of course)and u just get purple bruise -like marks on the spot which fades after 5 days.

Anonymous said...

Most men won't use condoms on there wives I wonder why

goodie said...

wow! I totally enjoyed reading dat story... Oliver Twist.. I want more,.wheres d part 2?

Anonymous said...

When she's married wld her husband want to hear condom

Anonymous said...

Go and wear a coil

Anonymous said...

Ewu!!! Thank God u arnt her husband, are u even man enuf to wife her? Ode! Ure so stoopid for making dat silly comment of urs. If u hv noffin meaningful to say, jst shut ur stinking mouth.

Anonymous said...

Don't mind linda! She does all dez for traffic here. She gets paid for it remeber??? But really, its annoying. Why ask here wen u hv google.

Anonymous said...

Are you a learner????? Tie your tubes or go for the injectable thingy that can be removed if you decide you want more kids.

Uzo

Anonymous said...

U r not serious. U don't have a GP? Go to your doctor's surgery & see your nurse for advice. Next important question please!

Anonymous said...

Condoms aint save as dey preach it to be..........

Anonymous said...

Check this out http://Profitmoo.com/ref.php?page=act/ref&invcod=28334

Anonymous said...

May God punish you for your comment! Is the husband a dog??? He should be a lot more considerate. As if sex is food. Retard oshi

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I think you should consider other options besides birth control or consult your physician and tell him about the ineffectiveness of using the birth control you use, you may want to consider tying your tubes if that is too hard a discussion consider using condoms, spermacide there is a form of birth control you can have insert and it prevents pregnancy for five years and change after that. Most importantly have a candid conversation with your husband and please don't have more children if you do the more children you have the more resentment builds am sure you don't hate your kids but you don't want to resent them either but view them as a blessing your husband may also want to consider a vasectomy. good luck girl love Vikky.

Anonymous said...

anon 5:44pm are u serious??anytime her husband asks her for sex both of them should kneel and pray ehn LOL..

***Lush said...

First of all, FOR THE SAKE OF GOD & YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, find a new doctor!!!

How can you stay with a doctor who prescribes medication that is not working?? You fall within the small percentage of women for whom birth control pills are not effective. Your doctor should have noted that and made changes.

Since you are absolutely done with having children, please tie your tubes. That option guarantees you will not get pregnant again.

If your husband can threaten to leave you for denying him sex -- obviously he is aware you are scared of another pregnancy -- he will not get a vasectomy. This means that YOU ARE ENTIRELY RESPONSIBLE for preventing another unwanted pregnancy.

Please take your mental health seriously and do what is best for you.

Also, if you find yourself pregnant again, you should do what is in your best interest. If that means terminating the pregnancy, please do so. It is better that you are alive to love & care for the four children you have than to become depressed and suicidal. If you are in Nigeria or any other country where mental health issues are not taken seriously, another pregnancy can take its toll on your sanity -- with dire consequences.



***Lush

Confusedman said...

This is my own honest story.
I am a man and i had the same problem with my wife.
Most Contraceptives are hormonal and they all have side effects Some of the barrier ones do have some side effect as well[As i was told by a Gynae doc friend].There was a time my wife was on IUCD, but she had to stop it because it was making her have serious discharges and she also used to bleed a lot from the IUCD.She also tried OCD and this used to make her to be bloated up, and gaining weight.It got to a point after constant argument over sex that i told my self i have to find a way out. Dont get me wrong , i love my wife. She is my pillar and she has been faithful. We have 2 young kids.The best solution to the problem for me is just to have a well trusted 'Friend'. That is it, if i dont want to be getting my wife pregnant all the time or develop libido as a result of constant argument over sex which i will be denied of anyway; that is the way to go. That is that route i took and everybody is happy. I dont disturb my wife for sex to much these days as i have a 'spare'. I know i run the risk of getting to a point where i can start loving my 'friend' more than my wife, but guess what, i have no choice; i did not implant myself with testosterone that is making me horny all the time.I remember one night that my wife refused me saying she was tired. I begged and begged with some little argument in-between and when she eventually accepted, i lost my erection. I was so scared as i never experienced anything like this before. That night i made up my mind to find a way out.I have been open to my Friend. She works where i used to work before. I cant even remember how our friendship started. She is so nice and cool headed. She does not argue.She goes out of her way to accomodate me and satisfy me. God, why cant my wife just be doing all these. The only thing i honestly fear is getting getting her pregnant as i am making sure i occupy her all the time. There is no day i dont see her.I know all her routine. I try my best to meet all her needs which are not even much.I do at times feel guilty especially when i am speaking with my wife to the extent that these days i started contemplating on ending this outside relationship but that is going to be hard for me. But may be, i should just allow time to take it course. so confused.

onepageafrica said...

You can save yourself all the troubles by visiting any of the family planning clinics. Good a thing, there are a number of these clinics scattered all over the country, where you can get adequate help to plan your family properly.

Anonymous said...

GO TO GOD IN PRAYER AND STOP ALL THIS BIRTH CONTOL ISH

GOD IS THE GIVER OF CHILDREN DONT EVEN TRY TO ABORT WHICH I THANK GOD FOR YOU LIFE U DIDNT

MAKE UR HUSBAND UNDERSTAND AND COUPLED WITH PRAYER,GOD WOULD HELP YOUR MARRIAGE. ALSO WHEN IT COMES TO SEX YOU CAN TALK IT OUT IT WOULD OCCUR SELDOMLY.

GOD HELP YOU

Anonymous said...

Please ask your Doctor for Implanon birth control. It's inserted in the arm. I just removed mine 2 weeks ago. It's 100% effective. I had it on for more than 2 years! I took it off some weeks ago because I'm ready to have another baby. Please use it. Saves you the stress of condoms and remembering dates for pills or injections.

charmin girl said...

U dnt want 2 ve more children, u dnt want 2 leave ur home n u said u ll commit suicide if u take in.ma dear go remove ur womb,instead of u 2 pray 4 God's intervention u re here sayin rubbish.mtchewwww. Linda post ma comment o

Anonymous said...


HELLO to my friends out there i am testifying about the good work of a man who help me it has been hell from the day my husband left me i am a woman with two kids my problem stated when the father of my kids travel i never help he was living but as at two weeks i did not set my eye on my husband i try calling but he was not taken my call some week he call me telling me that he has found love some where easy at first i never take to be serous but day after he came to the house to pick his things that was the time i notice that things is going bad i help he will come back but things was going bad day by day i needed to talk to someone about it so i went to his friend but there was no help so i give it up on him month later i met on the the internet a spell caster i never believe on this but i needed my men back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it for doing sake but after three day my hasbond called me telling me that he his coming home i still do not believe but as at the six day the father to my kids came to the house asking me to for give him the spell work to said to my self from that day i was happy with my family thanks to the dr.tube Temple he his a great man you need to try him you can as well to tell him your problem so that he can be of help to you his content email is this :goodspelltemple@gmail.com indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:goodspelltemple@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

Anonymous said...


I recently have a good luck spell cast on me by Dr. dr.tube and I want anyone to tell me how it use to work because still I had this spell cast on me different companies has been coming to me for me to work with them and I do not really know which of the companies is the right one for me and Iâm so happy because since last 7months I lost my job and I have been looking for job and I was unable to get one for myself till I had this spell cast on me so is there anyone that can advice me on which of the companies that is right for me? And I also thank Dr. dr.tube for his help too anyone in need of help with spell I will advise you to contact him on this email: goodspelltemple@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Try implanon(FP).It should work for you.

Anonymous said...

abeg jo tell the guy to get out. i would tell you to tie your tubes like evryone else, but the fact that he would divorce you over sex just shows that might be the reason he married you in the first place. take your children and get out. shaybe we run the world? it's time to prove it. what rubbish.

Anonymous said...

abeg jo tell the guy to get out. i would tell you to tie your tubes like evryone else, but the fact that he would divorce you over sex just shows that might be the reason he married you in the first place. take your children and get out. shaybe we run the world? it's time to prove it. what rubbish.

Anonymous said...

What kind of birth control are u using, who prescribed them? Are u using it meticulously as prescribed? Could your husband be tampering with it?. Have you and your husband discussed in detail your wants, anxiety and priorities? What about other methods of Birth control besides pills? eg. coils, IUDs, etc? Vasectomy for your husband? so many questions.....U need a review of your current pills; and birth control methods are very subjective....there is no 'works for all and sundry' method. This is why you need a prescription specificlly for your body, for you.
Sorry if I've repeated any earlier comments....I haven't read them but this is my suggestions as a Health professional. Thanks x

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