I'm not married but I don't think that's normal behaviour. At least I can't take it. Deny me of sex? That's grounds for divorce na...lol. But seriously, is this common? And what can she do about it?
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
A man who refuses to make love to his pregnant wife
I'm not married but I don't think that's normal behaviour. At least I can't take it. Deny me of sex? That's grounds for divorce na...lol. But seriously, is this common? And what can she do about it?
Maybe the husband is scared. There are men like that, once the pregnancy start showing, they stop making love with their wives out of fear.
ReplyDeleteI will suggest u both see ur doctor so that he can talk to your husband about his fears and set his mind at ease
ME
i would not blame the man as he is ignorant of the fact that it is medically advisable for a pregnant woman to keep meeting her spouse as this will ease pain during child delivery. what the man needs is counselling from doctors. moreover, i think it is even more enjoyable during pregnancy. (Not married though). thanks.
ReplyDeleteI have heard of men who after watching their wives give birth are not able to sleep with them any more. But what is this man doing - masturbating or simply catching his fun outside?
ReplyDeleteTime don reach when I suppose go Ama Hausa go buy special koboko for some men.
Has he not heard of trying new positions when sleeping with his wife or na me give his wife belle? No be his seed de grow inside his wife or maybe dem for put the foetus inside a test tube, leave am there to grow finish.
There goes another case of man's injustice to woman. But make divorce no even be mentioned here. That na very dangerous ground.
Anyway Linda no confuse me with your blog, I de go do my afternoon shift. See you when I come back at night
She should leave her husband, lol!!!But seriously, why is she complaining? Isn't she tired of sex and can't she take a break for a few months until the baby is born?!! Truth is, this is very common and there are likely two main reasons for this: He doesnt find her very sexy right now or: he is scared of hurting the baby.
ReplyDelete@Prince Seye, are you serious?!!! medically advisable ke, where did you get that from? point is, not all the time is it advisable. My friend bled terrible one day after sex with her husband during pregnancy and they were warned to stop. So......
ReplyDeleteIt's not abnormal for the man to not want sex while she is pregnant - he is probably nervous about harming the baby etc. He just needs his fears allayed - I wouldn't worry if I were her.
ReplyDeleteits common,atleast i went thru d same experience with my hubby,and even for many more months after delivery he still didnt touch me for best reasons known to him,but d excuse he gave me after having d baby was more ridiculous than while i was carrying d pregnancy.(he thot sex will contaminate d breastmilk,n he thinks the baby needs a healthy start)in my opinion i just thot he didnt find me attrctive anymore.
ReplyDeleteAs a mother of three I find this behaviour abnormal, pregnancy doesnt stop a mans sexual urges in fact Doctors in the UK advise sex towards the last trimester to stimulate the labour process. The wife needs to speak to her husband to really find out what is going on. Having sex during pregancy does not harm the baby.
ReplyDeleteITS SCARY JORE..SEEING ONE WITH A FAT TUMMY CUD GIVE ONE THE CREEPS, TALK MORE OF MAKING LOVE TO HER.. THE WOMAN SELF, SHE SHUD CHILL NOW.. 9MONTHS WITHOUT SEX ISNT SOO LONG, THEY CUD MAKE OUT AND CUDDLE YEAHH...SHE SHUD CONCENTRATE ON HAVIN A REALLY HEALTHY BABY NS LEAVE SEX OUTTA IT. (NOT MARRIED)
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it's common o, I can only speak for myself...hubby & I made love till my 9th mth, and it was...*wink*.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the guy is scared he'll hurt her.
It happened in my 1st pregnancy...at the early stage(less than 8 wks), I notice a little discharge of blood anytime we had sex, and my husband panicked. When we took our concerns to our GP, he advised to let the pregnancy stabilize b4 we continue. We heeded advice and everything was normal afterwards.
he doesn't like sleeping with pregnant women..LMAO. How many women has he gotten pregnant in his life to know whether it is pleasurable or not
ReplyDeleteIt is usually perfectly safe for couples to enjoy a sexual relationship throughtout pregnancy, a healthy sex life in pregnancy is infact positively beneficial, becos as well as maintaining your relationship with your partner, it helps you to unwind.
ReplyDeleteYour partner need not deny you this becos it can also be a good form of exercise .
I'm pregnant with my third baby and our sex life never changed. Try to talk to your partner about his fears and anxieties and reassure him about how safe and natural sex is during pregnancy. you can also do that with the help of your Gynaecologist.
And i hope he is not doing it else where ooo??? goodluck!
She should start by going down on him, he will not say no!
ReplyDeleteAlso, he needs to follow her to pre-natal classes and probably get a lecture on having sex with a spouse while pregnant. That should allay his fears....
i am notnmarried but is unfair bcos i believe that is only way to help ur wife to deliver in peace but if u cant we can do it 4 u wit well paid money i am serious i can do the job if u will pay me here is my number 07036726898
ReplyDeleteahhhhhh, well a friend of mine has same issue with her husband and was going nuttas. a trip to the doctors helped a great deal cos now her husband knows the shape of the babys head will remain normal when he is born...lol, but seriously, how backward are some men?
ReplyDeleteIs this blog turning into some relationship blog or what.
ReplyDeleteSome people don't give a fuck about relationship problems
Well when my wife was preggers thats when we had the most and best sex....he might have his own reasons. Its ok i guess.... as long as it not rough though.
ReplyDeleteEeya. It's normal. Is this the first baby? He's probably scared he might hurt both mom-to-be and the baby.
ReplyDeleteShe should approach( NOT CONFRONT)him lovingly and talk to him about it. She should look for sources of information (for starters baby/pregnancy and parenting web sites) to show him that it's super OK to still make love to each other during pregnancy.
Here's one : http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/antenatalhealth/sexduringpregnancy/
It's really not about her, he just has the baby's best interest at heart.
:)
it is true, but u will not blame the man, it is out of ignorant he needs someone to talk to him, teach him and let him know what and why it is necessary, for the helath of dat baby and it can even make the delivery easy. so let an elderly person with wisdom talk to him and also take them not him alone to the doctor. God will help them. my deat just take it easy, God will not leave you.
ReplyDeleteignorant is no excuse, the man needs serious lecture, l am a married woman and just had baby, when women are pregnant, that is when most women have high sex drive because they enjoy it more. So how can you deprive such a person the satisfaction. this is the most important stage in a woman life, so she need all the attention/affection she can get, pls give to her as much as want,it wont affect the baby in any way. Few weeks after the is born, sex will be the last on her mind, she wont have the time sex anyway, so how long are going to deprive her of sex.......if l was your wife,Mr man l will rape you big time.
ReplyDeleteSee, it is @ this stage that majority of these men who wont sleep with thier pregnant wives cheat with other women!
ReplyDeleteThis is when thier wives are supposed to be super desirable to them all the time!
Guys, please go get educated, because ignorance is no excuse here!
why did she let this go on for so long?
ReplyDeletehere's my 2 cents
- The guy may be scared and if thats the case they should see their doctor.
- He may actually not find her so attractive, which they would both need to work on ways they can have MAD sex in her condition.
-She needs it o! Especially at this stage.
All in all they should see a doctor.PERE!
I have to agree. Some men are ignorant enough to believe they might poke the baby's eye out while some feel that the baby is sensitive enough to feel what is going on and in turn know. He just needs to be educated. I understand that this is a sensitive issue but the babe must have had some serious hormonal issues during that pregnancy and needed sex sometimes like crazy. So her husband should tell her exactly why not and then find a way to sort this out, because this cannot happen during any more pregnancies.
ReplyDeleteWell in the first few trimesters it is normal but later on is ridiculous. He probably feels it might hurt the baby or something. She needs to have a doctor educate him and he should be fine after that.
ReplyDeletemany men are truly scared of sleeping with their wives thinking moreso that it will harm the baby..i dont think they are necessarily repulsed but rather it comes from a genuine fear that they are defiling the unborn baby, or something really bad might just happen like a miscarriage..i remember with my first pregnancy the pregnancy classes i attended addressed these fears some men might have...in fact it is advised that towards the end of your last trimester after 38 weeks or so it is okay to have sex...in fact when my labor wasnt coming i was advised by my doctor after 40 weeks, bcos all my babies were past due to have sex bcos it ripens the cervix and can stimulate labor, bcos the male sperm has natural prostaglandins...
ReplyDeleteHowever on the other hand, if the woman has issues with her cervix, placenta, or chances of miscarriage, doctors might advise against it...so the couple does need to have an open and honest communication with her doctor to allay whatever fears he might have..
THE MAN IS HAVING AN AFFAIR. PERHAPS SHE HAS ALTERED A GREAT DEAL IN LOOK AND THEREFORE VERY UNATTRACTIVE IN HIS EYES (NOT AN EXCUSE). HE IS A WICKED SELFISH MAN. WOMEN ARE HORNIER IN PREGNANCY AND NEED SERIOUS SERVICING. I WILL SUGGEST SHE FINDS A NEW PARTNER IN THE MEANTIME
ReplyDeletehey,when i was pregnant my husband found it hard, not becos he would hurt the baby.
ReplyDeleteHe said it was just uncomfortable...but as a woman we have our tricks...i did not take no for an answer i kept tryin till he did it.....lol.but seriously, it does help when u put to bed........talk to him and above all...put all things in prayer as its God's gift to us......hope this helps...
lmfaoooooo....chai...Linda u no go kill person...say sex denial of sex na ground for divorce...looool...chai..water dey comot for ma eye..na true sha..na small thing go make me keep my divorce papers beside d matrimonial bed...if she no gree..i go just pull am out make she sign..loool
ReplyDeleteanyway..to the subject at hand..the guy gast straf am nah..the woman nah hin wife..i know say u no fit do missionary cus e no good make hin put him body for her belle...but hin fit nak d babe from back...or she fit ride am...either way hin gast straf the babe
Yep he may be scared of hurting her or the baby or maybe he thinks the baby will know whats going on. As long as its not a high-risk pregnancy, they should be fine. Maybe they should have her doc confirm it to him and between both of them, find comfortable positions.
ReplyDeleteWhen i was pregnant, i was so uncormfortable especially during the last trimester that sex was the last thing on my mind and fortunately my husband stayed clear.
But seriously, they need to enjoy it while they comfortably can cos after the baby, the desire may not be there for a whileeeeee, atleast for the woman.
It is a very normal reaction but it is mostly innocent and due to lack of knowledge. As a doctor who manages obstetrics as well as a wife, I have experienced it multiple times. I often get questions from the men- one of the popular ones is can my penis touch the baby; or does sex hurt the baby? Sex is very healthy for a pregnant woman, we only discourage it when there is a risk of preterm birth (usually if there is a history). All women go through the phase of does he find me attractive and so on. Even after managing and counseling so many patients I myself went through it. And then my husband surprised me, as educated as he is with the same questions and I felt like the stupid one. What made me think he would not have the same questions as all the other men I met at my practice. He was afraid of hurting his first child...I sat down and mapped out the many barriers it would take and reassured him that his penis was not long enough to reach the baby j/k Men this is the time to make your wives feel beautiful and you cannot only say it, you have to act it. If she gets to big that she cannot reach down there to shave and it bothers you, help her and then make love to her (this is the worst part of for better for worst). I am sorry you had to endure it till now...men also you are punishing yourselves, because time will come when it will be too uncomfortable for her, and then after the baby is born you have to wait for 6 weeks. Almost a year without sex...you might as well start working on those issues now. Gud luck
ReplyDeleteThe man should go for counselling. Sex is okay during pregnancy, but hould not be rough to be on the safe side. Take am jeje. Nothing dey happen.
ReplyDeleteThey both need to sit down with the doctor the next time around and have the doctor explain to her husband that sex during pregnancy is perfectly safe as long as the doctor clears it. Like others have mentioned, some men get afraid that they might harm the baby in some way or the other. The issue could also be that she doesn't look like the picture you've posted. She could have gotten fat and he doesn't find her desirable because some women take the whole "eating for two" thing seriously and gorge themselves with food. She's in her final weeks so at this point her complaint is null and void.
ReplyDeleteit is even better during pregnancy trust me i have 2 kids and hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteI am a married man and I can relate with this. I found it hard to make love to my wife when she got pregnant. In actual fact, I found her very sexy and desirable and more beautiful than ever. We did make love a few times at certain stages during the pregnancy but it was a bit 'awkward' for me. In my mind, I kept thinking I was hurting the child in her stomach with my pounding, medical reasons or not! Many men I have spoken to on this agree with me. So, its nothing new. The gentleman in question can talk it over with his wife. They can engage in foreplay (mind the child o) and other oral stuff which will give her the orgasm she needs.
ReplyDeleteWell as a Psychologist in training( doing my PHD) even though i have not spoken to him...It looks that he might have the Virgin-Whore Dichotomy issue...where a man finds a woman attractive until they remind him of his mother or anything motherly after that they shut down sexually. He needs to see a Psychologist period. Or it could just be as simple as he is cheating on her...which would be sad
ReplyDeletei tink he's scared of hurtin d baby & d mother
ReplyDeleteSome men believe that they might hurt the foetus.This is not true;except the pregnant woman has some pre-existing medical conditions.When I was pregnant with my 1st baby, my husband stopped having sex with me at 6months, we(my husband&I) both went for one of my ante-natal visits and my Dr said we could have sex till the baby is born.Sex helps open up the passage through which the baby passes.There are many comfortable sexual positions for the man and woman :-) .Anyways,my husband&I had sex till a day before I had my 1st,2nd&3rd babies! And the sex was great too.
ReplyDeleteDifferent strokes for different folks.
ReplyDeleteLinda has obviously started her screening again. I think the recent use of this blog to offer help to the distressed is highly commendable. It's better than asking us about those useless pics.
ReplyDeleteadvise the woman should mandate him to be present in the labour room during delivery perhaps he'll understand the good in helping her wife next time. since she's due already this chance is gone.
ReplyDeletePersonally, if it's really bothering her, then I would advise they both go see a doctor, counsellor or someone who is a lot more experienced in the field to help them out.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand I would suggest she just waits till after the baby is delivered. Then they can make love. If he still doesn't want to afterwards, that's when you can start to think if it's a love issue or your husband just didn't like the idea of pregnancy-and-sex. If you turn the tables around and you were like him in this situation( because i know some women can be stubborn with sex too), then you'd probably do the same thing. Not everyone feels comfortable having sex during pregnancy. If u can wait, then do just so. Sex really ain't all that.
Goodluck.
The man is not helping the woman at all, regular love making is medically required of a prego for less painful delivery of the unborn baby. The needs a help of a medical practitioner on positions to adopt during this period if that were to be his fear.
ReplyDeletei wish i were a girl to get pregnant, just look at how sexy that woman's tummy is in that pic
ReplyDeleteIt is very advisable that he should have sex with his pregnant wife at least once a week. Please see your doctor for more!
ReplyDeleteit is quite common. For many men, the tummy growing larger and larger is quite a turn off and sometimes sex is mostly awkward in this situation.
ReplyDeleteMay by the man is not serious because if you love your wife you can remote her till 2 months to deliver and the will make her to fill unpainful when entering into a labour room.
ReplyDeletescared or not, he should be properly educated on the topic.
ReplyDeleteAs long as she's not bleeding and there are no complications- dude should be happy about the fact that he can shag countless times without a rubber and the fear of getting her pregnant *insert grin*
It's advised that he corpulates with her during this time because it'll make her delivery a tad bit easier. I understand he's scared but c'mon, she's carrying your baby dude. Pucker up!
ReplyDeleteit is devine to have it during pregnancy, iv got the experince.
ReplyDeletethe couple should see a dr for counselling except its late now since she is due.
prince seye how come you know its more enjoyable if you are not married?
glo
It is safe for most couples to continue making love throughout their pregnancy.There's a very positive side to sex during pregnancy.If your partner is uncomfortable, you may wish to try alternative pleasuring activities, without actual penetration -- at least for a while. When making love, positions you may find more comfortable are side-lying or woman on top. Allow yourself the time to be alone, without fear of interruption. A relaxing bath and massage can help you to enjoy each other!
ReplyDeleteSheila Kitzinger has written many books on pregnancy and birth and each one shares a wealth of sensitive, expert information. I would recommend reading her book, Woman's Experience of Sex
he just missed out on the best sex ever from his wife.
ReplyDeleteits not a matter of him fearing medically adverse effects. its a traditional belief for some people. so even if the surgeon general tells him its medically okay, he still wont touch her.
ReplyDeleteand in some yoruba families too, its their taboo.
in short, this lady needs to know her husband's reason. otherwise same thing will happen next pregnancy.
The issue is that the Husband is scared, i equally experience it when i was carry my first child, I will advice yout alk to your man or ask a doctor to talk to him or an experience person, you really need him. dont worry he will get over it with time. Just keep on touching him, send romantic messages and try to be sexy.
ReplyDeleteLol... Sex during pregnancy is something that should be on a case by case basis..
ReplyDeleteEither way, nothing wrong with it in my opinion...
@anon...
ReplyDelete"When making love, positions you may find more comfortable are side-lying or woman on top."
Woman on top ke? You want to push the fetus out through the esophagus abi?
Me? I'm backward so what is 31/2 months? Do pregnancies last that long? My sweetheart 'fired' me throughout pregnancy and we were not married then.
ReplyDeleteThe positions were not easy but lovely. I had a swell time. He does not love her at all or on religious belief.
I was very good at it so even if he went outside, he would have to come back for more. Emi ke! F**k the hell out of your man's brains. No rival!
Na Lie! Na just excuse to cheat on his wife jor. in this day and age, how can a person of reasonable intelligence believe that sex in pregnancy harms a baby. Unless you have been medically advised to abstain (this is pretty rare, by the way), there is NO EXCUSE to not give it to your wife, useless man.
ReplyDeleteIn fact sex is SWEETER during pregnancy. I dey speak from experience. I know not every woman feels the same, but na the woman dey horny in this case and she no get problem with her pregnancy, so there is obviously no need for the man to stay away.
Abi e want make another man oil im wife for am. Stupid man just dey make the woman suffer needlessly. Hissssssssssssssssssssss.
I dey laf o o o!!! Sexually, I enjoyed my wife more each time she was pregnant. I'm a father of three. But don't blame those men who can't do it. They simply don't know how to enjoy it or don't know what they're missing. If you're scared of touching your pregnant wife, pls, contact me. There are tips on how to start doing it.
ReplyDeleteAnd lest I forget, it is a way of making the passage well lubricated for the unborn baby when it's time to come. Ask your doctor.
SAMSON [samson.akindele@yahoo.com]
Na wa ooo...
ReplyDeleteSlow blogging day for you today huh??
Anyway, just read somewhere about a multi million naira house bought/built for Tonto Dike by her billionaire boy/man friend
Keep us posted ooo
Anyway, I trust you on that
they can just chill with some good 69.
ReplyDeleteI HAD INTERCOURSE WITH MY WIFE 12 HOURS BEFORE SHE DELIVERED.
ReplyDeleteI THINK THERE IS NOTHING BAD IN IT.
@therealworld na hard thing u na do..wink
ReplyDeleteanyway the man should knw that atimes women do not want sex during pregnancy but occasionally some might want it excessively gan sef. Let the woman manage small,its almost over.pele
This may be difficult but the stress of being a new mother/parents can be rough. Use this time for intimacy, a super extended foreplay in order to strengthen your relationship for what's to come. Work dilligently on communication and keeping your connection as husband and wife. The rest will surely fall into place.
ReplyDeleteim pregnant too! my husband doesnt want to have sex with me even when i can see that he is horny and when i asked him why and he told me dat he doesnt want to hurt the baby so my dear dont worry about it.
ReplyDeleteWOW...This man na big fool sha, he dey fuck out side be that na. Well i'm married with 2 kids & i enjoy sex more when my wife is pregnant...that thing sweet pass virgin sha & i might even get her pregnant again bcos i want to make love with her during pregnancy...i advice this woman to take him to her doctor in d next pregnancy bcos its already late since she's almost having d baby but she went thru alot & labour go hard her well well since d stuff wasnt greased or lubricated all thru out 9months.
ReplyDeletePeople!!! I am a father of three, 2 hefty boys and my princess. All born through the birth carnal, no issues at all, because we did it till the day she goes in for delivery. Though we decided to hang the boot after the last child was born, but i would be down to earth with you all, my darling wiffy was hotter in pregnancy than when she wasn't.
ReplyDeleteThis dude needs counselling, I am not a medical doctor, but there is a shock absorber in the woman's anatomy that protects babies from the impact of banging actions. I have been married for only 10 years and can tell you this much. I beg preggies deserve all the actions they can get.
Ha! I know one family, when the wife was preggie, the man still dey park the wife and dey release inside her. When them born pickin finish, dem discover say baby sef don carry belle, while in her mother's womb... Who give pickin belle? Wife say na him hubby.
ReplyDeleteC'mon guyz this is a no brainer
ReplyDeleteI've just got one question for you
how many pounds did you gain,it's not rocket science ladies,do something bout dat weight during pregnancy plsss
i passing through the same thing with my wife as we speak.
In my own case johnny is even having a hard time getting up.
How about when the reverse is the case? When a woman refuses her hubby love making because she is pregnant claimimg her boobs & her cunt hurt during love making. Need your comments please!
ReplyDeletewhile my dear,it all need understanding and good caring.many look at it from different angles.but most specially is understanding.
ReplyDeletethe man is a fool. na dis tym na DAT thing go sweet her well well
ReplyDelete