I haven't been to a wedding since....2006 ;)
I'm such a weirdo huh? I've provided ushers for many weddings but I never show up at these weddings...my lil sis handles all that.
Now I've only ever been a bridesmaid just once, in 05 and I remember thinking it was weird that I was asked to pay for the bridesmaid dress. The worst part was that the bride picked one of Naija's top designers to make the dresses, and the designer charged us (the bridesmaids) more than I would ordinarily pay for a dress. I remember feeling so annoyed that I had to part with all that money...for a dress...lol
So now my younger sis is supposed to be a bridesmaid for one of her friends but she told me this morning that she's pulled out of it.
Why?
The bridesmaid dress will cost N10grand
My sis says she can buy at least two pairs of jeans and two tops with N10grand
LOL
She doesn't think that she should be paying for the dress...
Her friend, the bride, thinks she should be paying for it since she won't be returning it.
Her friend, the bride, thinks she should be paying for it since she won't be returning it.
I understand when the bride can't afford it really, but when you can, shouldn't you pay for it?
Please who should pay for the bridesmaids dress? The bride or the bridesmaids?
What do you guys say?
Meanwhile check out the Then and Now pictures of some of the world's most celebrated women.
Michelle Obama
Oprah Winfrey
Jada Pinkett Smith
Jennifer Hudson
Jennifer Hudson
Janet Jackson
Vanessa Williams
Halle Berry
Queen Latifah
Queen Latifah
Beyonce Knowles
Amazing transformations!
Thoughts?
48 comments:
1st!!!
...I get the fact that the dress won't be returned, but again it's the bride's wedding so she shd try and either find a reasonable price or simple let people know way ahead of time before bestowing on them the position of bridesmaid.
All pockets are not equal, but again in 9ja where a flight ticket from Ben to Lagos is about 14k and pple are flying like no man's bizness, I guess the bride ddnt see the amount as too exorbitant.
Nice before and now pictures, but am sure there is a much nicer picture of the lovely Jada Pinkett, dat pic doesn't do her as much justice. My 2cents ooo!!
Nice post... I think it all comes down to being considerate of your friends. The bride has the right to pick whatever dress she wants, but she should try to understand that all her bridesmaids are not adopted by Angelina (better yet Oprah, or bill gates). I think it's respectful for brides to give their bridesmaids an estimate of how much money & time they will have to put into the wedding for in advance.
If you can afford it, and you're getting vera wang to design your dresses please pay for it. If you can't afford it, please consider that your bridesmaids are there to honor you and not to go broke.
Bridesmaids pay for their gowns, and the bride has a million other costs to consider, but she should be considerate enough to pick a dress in a reasonable (i.e. affordable) price range and not make mandates on a specific pair of shoes or other accessories.
Halle looks like she's had work done on her face since then.
1st!! yay ...
Well 10 grand aint that much but fair enough if she doesn't want to pay.
Who should pay depends on whether the bride has the money to do so or not. I f I did I would pay as a token of appreciation but then vice versa they should pay as a token of their help towards the wedding ... se u get ?
That picture is lovely ...do you have any more ? you know I keep a file of wedding pictures...so i have ideas when it's time to plan my own wedding ..lol
I think the brides maids should pay for the dress, but the bride needs to consult with them on the price and if it it expensive, she may pay a part of it.
Janet Jackson is soo cute and Beyonce as well, both their "then" and "now" pictures are really cute
R u serious? do u know how much a wedding costs? that u want the bride to pay for ur dress too? if u r a good friend it won't be a problem for u. As far as u r given ample time to save up the money or pay into an acct.
LOL. why do i think the bridesmaids should pay for it? hmmmmm..
xxx
the bridesmaid should certainly pay for their dresses for so many reason
1. IT IS THEIR DRESS not d brides lol
2. it is the least that a friend who has been selected to be a bridesmaid can do to ease the burden of the bride who must have already spent a fortune on d wedding
3.if the bride pays for the dress it sends such a wrong message like she is buying her friends or sumthin lol, any friend who is a bridesmaid that can afford the dress should pay for it without even thinking about it
4. would d bride pay for all the aso ebi aswell??
hmmm no offence 2 ur sis but if i were ur sistas friend i will be offended o, as in if she can afford d 10k then she should do her friend d honour of being her bridesmaid as a friend. it just seems rather selfish to think that she would rather use d money 2 buy sumthin else than sacrifice 10 k for her friends big day even if its just to make d bride happy and show her that her friends would actually go d extra mile 4 her....ya dig??
anyway it depends on how close they are
sooo d bridesmaid must by all means pay 4 their dresses, do only way to escape it is avoiding very rich friends that would want u 2 buy vera wang dresses lol
hmmm. as far back as early 90's, the bride paid for the bridemaid's dress until one bride decided to change the order of things, and now bridesmaids are made to cough out $300 for a shoddy bridesmaid outfit that you may never wear again in your life.
In answer to your question, I think the bride/groom/couple should be the one paying for the dress or at least a portion of the fee. One day, young girls may just stop accepting brides maid proposal cos of the fees involved
The Bride should pay for the dresses o!!!....Theres no way ill be paying for being a bridesmaid nw!!..haba!....I dnt mind Ashoebi cos I know I can wear the outfit/gele again...I've been a bridesmaid for 2 of my firends and was not asked to pay a dime...lol...loves it!!.Brides should be responsible for the bridesmaids' outfits....period!
i guess Halle Berry is the champ as she really looks different from her younger days. she looks more elegant and poise now than ever.
good job linda dear.
when the bride can't afford it then she should look for something much moderate within the reach of everyone.
The traditional and the right thing is for the bride to provide the dresses it should be like a patting gift but due to so many financial constrain some brides pay half and the brides maids pay the remaining half . I don't blame your sister, if she feels the dress wouldn't serve her any purpose then why spend that, all in the name to please a friend. Call me whatever name but i wouldn't want to pay so much for a bridesmaid dress . I once paid for an expensive dress , afterward I never wore the outfit again .
The right thing is for the bride to pay ...
wendu
Linda, I love your blog to bits. I have never left a comment before but this particular issue is one that keeps rearing its head and I'm glad you brought it up. I believe brides should foot the bill for bridesmaids dresses or at least pay half. My reason being that the bridesmaids are doing the bride a favor and also there to honor her so why inconvenience them. Can't blame your sister at all. Kudos to her!! I've had to make the same decisions too. Sometimes the prices are inflated because some brides try to make money from their weddings.
economy is in recession so it would be good if the bride can help pay for the bridesmaid dress even if it is half! That is not asking for much.
I think the ideal thing would be for the Bridesmaid to pay for the dress... However, if the bride can afford it, then she can pay for it, afterall its her wedding. Again, the bride should pick something that she knows her bridesmaids can afford if she really wants them to be a part of her wedding.
In your lil sis's case, I do not blame her. N10k is a bit high for a dress you'll never wear again. For God's sake we're in a recession era.
On the lighter side, you need to get a life Linda...Not attended a wedding (I'm sure very few events sef)since 06? And you live in Lagos? And you're in Show-biz... Na wao..
About the celebs, Michelle, Oprah, Janet, Vanessa, Halle and i think Mariah too all had a nose job.
Halle's transformation is way 2 much.She dosent look a bit of her old self.
If i get all transformed like some of them i will be such a looker.
U sure is that Halle Berry b/4? She looks so diff. Michelle Obama did not change much, just her hairstyle. Beyonce has always being fiiine.. has fine genes. Mariah Carey is pretty. Janet Jackson has always being beautiful. Queen Latifah has always been the Queeeen - very regal. Jada Pinkett looks skinny, now. I bet she is dieting, ok, i shld be minding my business. Lol Oprah just gained weight, she still has the hair, though. Linda, when are you going to do Naija celebs, u hardworking chica..
... and did i forget Jennifer Hudson, no! I did not. That girl is just too fine. Reps big boned women well
I think the bride should pay for the dress, it's ur wedding for Christ sake.. My cousin got married last year, she bought the dresses and even gave the bridesmaids 'thank you' gifts the morning of the wedding. These girls took time out to fly in from different places just to be with you on the day, why the hell should they pay?
I'ld rather shell out for aso-ebi than pay for a bridesmaids dress that i might not even like!!
I have never commented here before but I find this topic quite interesting esp. as I am getting married soon. The bridesmaids should definitely pay for the dress esp if they are your very good friends….I mean why should you put someone you are not even close to on your train in the first place. Except your sister is not that close to the girl getting married, then maybe she was right to say no but otherwise I think turning down her friend over N10,000 is a bit unfriendly if you get what I mean. And imagine the comparison, two pairs of jeans? Is that what her friendship is worth? I really want to believe the girl is not that close to her sha…..
The way I look at it, it is a way for friends to support the bride….afterall I would do the same for them/have done same for some of them. It is soooo not a big deal…If any of my friends had a problem with paying for their dresses then I would rethink my friendship o..Haba what are friends for…….However, my friends did say that I should not put them in a sack which is fair enough…lol……
Saying that, I put some relatives on my train and I paid for their dresses and shoes. I considered that it might too much on them so paid for them. I have such a huge train and if I could afford to pay for all their bridesmaids then why not but considering all the other costs of a wedding, in naija you are talking millions these days, it is more realistic to get pple to pay. And N10000 is £45 right, I am not saying all fingers are equal…..But come on, N10000 is very reasonable………It means your sis cannot even buy ticket to go for her friend’s wedding…lol…Loads of my friends are buying tickets to go to naija for my wedding and it will probably be a strain on them but that is what friends are for…
i ain't paying for no bridesmaids dress. FOR WHAT? na me they marry? abegi
that michelle woman na wao
THE BRIDE SHOULD but it is still tricky. If you are gonna force someone to wear some generic uglyness of a mess then the bride should pay for it. but lets say she is allowing her bridesmaids to wear the dress they picked out themselves, they the bridesmaid shld pay for it.
alot of brides clearly don't like the idea of giving their bridesmiads that discretion to pick out the dress that fits them, i've seen alot of uglyness paraded around for the sake of keeping the bride happy and being the center of attention....the forced uniformity can sometimes be silly. moreover alot of these dresses aside from being fugly also don't take into account the poor girl wearing the dress. IF someone is gonna go out of their way to polish your ego and not outshine you on your special day, the least the bride could do is pay for the damn dress.
i will only accept being someone's bridesmaids if i can choose the dress (brides should pick a colour and have their bridemaids pick dresses in that colour that suit their body), BuT if the bride insit that i wear something she picked out, she is gonna have to pay for it, unless i ask to pay for it, if she can't pay for the whole thing, she should pay half at least. damn!
My answer is - it depends.
If you expect them to pay for it then the bride should consult her bridesmaids b4 she picks outfits that may be too expensive for their budgets. I had a friend ask me to buy a $200 when I was a student and I quickly told her I couldn't afford it - I looked for the same dress online and found it for half the price. If the same thing happened today I probably wouldn't mind shelling the $$. Bottomline is fingers are not equal. Look at your friends' financial situations before putting that expense in their laps. You don't invite a friend for your birthday at an expensive restaurant they may not be able to afford and then tell them to buy their own food - cos after all their bodies will get to keep the nutrients. If you expect them to pay - take them somewhere they can afford or would be willing to pay extra for.
To the person that said friends are buying tickets to naija for her wedding. That's a totally diff thing. They will at least get a vacation out of the trip - get to see family, friends, and for the foreign friends they are getting an exotic experience in Africa abi.
There's no rule that says you must have bridesmaids. Don't put ppl out just cause you want a certain look. Just cause you want a million naira wedding doesn't mean all your friends are willing and/or able to cough up the price to give you that look you're going for. Sebi friendship is about being considerate.
Any good friend will consider it a previledge to be part of the bridesmaid and to pay for her dress in her friends wedding, i have always buy new dress to attend a friend wedding so how about being a bridesmaid, take it to be an honour and respect of participaction which you owe to offcurse a dear friend. 10k is not much! though i prefer to buy dresses to my bridesmaids if i can afford it......
seductive beauties and changes
I think the bride can pay for the bridesmaids'dresses if she can afford it. However, if she's not balling like that, then she should consider her bridesmaids'financial situation when choosing the dresses. In general most girlfriends will not object to paying for their own dress if it is affordable or if it's a close friend.
In the best case scenario, the bride should only choose her rich girlfriends as her bridesmaids!
haaaaa na wa o, im SCHOCKED that some ppl r suggesting that d bride should pay 4 d brides maid dresses o, its absurd lol, ur bridal train should be made up of ur bossom friends and if they cannot pay 4 d dresss??? then u shld rethink d friendship
also it is important to follow friends of ur level, u know, d kind of friends u know, d kind of friends that will agree that 10 k is a fab price. that wont cry wen asked to bring 10k 4 wedding
BRIDESMAID would pay for their dress of course!!! afterall they wont be returning it...and bridesmaid dresses always look nice on that day....thats d least u can do for ur friend....thats why it is always good to choose close friends as bridesmaid becos the whole wedding chiroma involves not only d bride but her friends too!!! it is certainly unfair to expect d bride to pay for d dresses considering the other expences she is bound to incur....
your sister should remmber she would be a bride one day too o....
i think 10k is reasonable....if u work unless ur sister isnt working...but still she has a 'celebrity sister'....YOU!!! so let her get some of the money from u !!!......and if she is single who knows the wedding may turn things around for her!!
all d best ...
Hmm, that this should even be a question came as a shock to me. Until I realised that it is a cultural thing. The way I see, it's the bride's day and she is the who asks or who bestows the honour, however one wants to look at it, I believe she oughta be the one who pays. I think asking the BMs to pay for their outfits is akin to asking the guests to pay for their meals. It just strikes me as very odd. But, I have been informed by my cousin in Nigeria that that is the case more often than not, the BMs shell out for their own joints, oh well.
I love your blog Ms. Ikeji, I have spent the past two days reading it, from your latest entry to March '07. I am thoroughly encouraged by your 'go get 'em' attitude. Keep doing your thing.
L.
Pick something affordbable.....I'm currently shelling out $300 for a dress I will never wear again....biko, that's too much money o.
I strongly think that the bride should take care of the bridesmaid's dress. The same goes for the groom and his bestman.
Come to think of it, it is THE BRIDE'S AND GROOM'S WEDDING and not that of the bestman & bridesmaid. However, where they can help, the bestmana nd the bridesmaid can take care of their wears...but not when the are made to think it's their responsibility. Who says a wedding cannot proceed without them anyway...
I think there should be a fair share between the bride & her bridesmaid. A few of my friends got married recently & as bridesmaids we bought our own dress and the bride covered the $$ for the shawls.
However, if the bride wants something really fancy and expensive she has to jointly decide with her bridesmaid what is affordable for EVERYONE! If not she should be willing to shell out the bigger percentage of that amount , say she covers 60% and the bridesmaid will cover 40%...or even 70% and 30%...either way, it has to work for everyone.
. . .hold on a sec. .am wondering about the people saying that if the bridesmaids cannot pay, they are not good friends??? haba since when did shelling out money become a measure of friendship??? you can have people that will be willing to pay and then some but are not really your friend. . .they might even be planning to snatch your husband sef. . .lol!! but really tho, the BRIDAL train is part of the BRIDE's costs. . .part of the wedding cost. . .like anon said, you might as well ask the guests to pay for their food. . .and the rent for the hall too. . .nd the music too while your at it. .. they are the ones enjoying it abi? and the bridesmaids are not exactly going scot-free you know. . .they have implicit costs too. . .such as the time taken to actually make it to the wedding. . being there for you (cuz itz not a must you know) and having to wear and have their pictures taken in a probably fugly dress. . lol. .. if someone tells me that because i cannot pay for a dress, am not a good friend then its adios senorita!!!
i think d bridesmaids shld pay for there dresses. when ur planning a wedding, money is never enuff.(im speaking for pple lyk me o biko) so as a way of supporting the bride as a friend, it is only reasonable dat d bridesmaid pays. 4get d part of d maids not returning the dresses. aftall, most bridemaids dresses are neva woren again.
but lyk they say, opinion is an asshole!!! (everyones got one)
the fact that the bridesmaids will not return the dress is obsolete.
They are honoring someone that should be considerate enough of them to pick something reasonably priced.
More often than not the bridesmaids dresses are ugly to the point where they cant be worn again.
I am sorry but if i shell out $100 or more for an ugly dress, believe me, you wont be getting a weddin gift. Simple and short.
The same goes for aso-ebi.
I was in a wedding, and the bride provided the dresses, it was the simplest and one of the nicest weddings i had been to. Needlesss to say, i doubled the amt spent on the wedding gift. Bcos i was so impressed that she stopped to think about others.
To be part of a friends wedding, you dont have to spend $200 on an ugly bridesmaids dress, there are many other ways to be a part of the wedding.
I have recently started saying no to bridesmaids requests, cos i dont need any heart attacks. For anyone that thinks it means i am less of a friend, too bad. Cos i am sure i wont be asking the lot of them. I can only see one person in my bridal party. lol.
am anti wedding and bridesmaids right now...being that i just had a horrible bridesmaid expereince..it is a waste of time and resources..and i am never going to be one again!!except i am allowed to choose the dress...and that will be for my sisters weddings...nothing else...I am done with overpriced ugly dresses..d fine ones you cant wear again cos they have wedding stamped over it!how about people stop having bridesmaids!They just use us to make their wedding colorful...and they are bridezillas to you on their wedding day...when its your own turn they may not even show up sef,,,they will have excuse of oh my husband said i cannot come...there is no where to put my baby!!NONSENSE
Nice topic....The bride has the right to pick whatever dress she wants, but she should try to understand that all her bridesmaides might not be in the same pocket!!!
Therefore ample time to know that you are one leaves time to save up for the brimaids dress.....
However she is prob spending a lot of money already.... I have been a bride's befor i did nt mind spending so much on the drees as it something i saw my self wearing after that.... an i have.......
Both paould be considerate!
Wait what happens when your brides needed in another country? Now that is expensive oh... i have done that like three time already.....
@ platinum Diva the bride does not have the right to choose any dress except she is putting them on mannequins and not human beings...once you are involving human beings then their input must be strongly considered after all they are the ones wearing the dresses
that being said,it really depends..if the bride has the money to pay for all the dresses she should...if not she should ask everyone for their input on price and even style and they should find a compromise...in recent times i have shelled out $350 n $250 respectively for bridesmaid dresses plus ticket to naija for the weddings....and i must say i am never doing that again!
While i agree that it is the brides day and it should be about her but the bride has to be considerate and bridesmaids too have too be considerate
she looks like a bridezilla..
Oprah looks ode different
Oprah looked mad mad different man
I think that the bride should pay for the dress. The dress is a selection that she picked to go with the style of her wedding. It isn't fare to ask a friend to ware what u want them to and pay for it as well. Its unlikely that they would ware the dress again. And God forbid if a bride selects a dress that the bridesmaid doesn't like.
The fact is this, the dresses are included in the wedding cost. If a bride is unable to afford it, she can re-budget or not have bridesmaids. When I get married I won't have a wedding party because of this reason. I won't be able to afford additional cost along with the other things in the wedding. So I will choose to eliminate the cost of the dress all together. If a bride doesn't want to do that, or pay for the dress, then she can try to locate a place where the bridesmaids can rent dresses and the groomsmen can rent tuxedos. That way the small fee of a rental would be reasonable for the wedding party to pay.
I think its not compulsory for the bridesmaid to pay for their dresses.The bride is asking their favor and what if genuinely they cannot afford it. Its not the bridesmaids obligations to ensure they contribute by paying for their dresses.If she cannot afford it then she can have just a maid of honor and forget the bridesmaids. I have an instance where a friend wanted me to be her bridesmaid(we weren't that close) and she wanted me to part with 35k. i told her i couldn't as i could not afford it at the time. So really, if you want your bridesmaids to pay for it then it has to be affordable AND they also have to be compensated for it by at least getting good gifts (oh yes)
In fact, i remember paying for a dress for 7k and ended up looking like an oversized doll in 'mary-amaka'.lol.i had to just chest that cos of the bride so that she would be happy on her day. So really, i dont think the bridesmaids must pay.
I really liked the article, and the very cool blog
all bridesmaids are looking beautiful in bridesmaid dresses. it's very lovely blog. thank You for sharing.
say my vows
Wow, it's very rare to see such a classic dress, it's wonderful.Think of these classical things, is really moving.
bridesmaid dresses online
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