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Tuesday 19 February 2013

Dear Nigerian men; where has your conscience gone?

Below is a mail I got this morning from a disillusioned female LIB reader...
Dear Linda, please could you help me ask your male readers why men are so heartless? Don't they have mothers and sisters? How would they feel if someone was to mistreat them? How can a woman give you the best years of her life, and you still dump her like a piece of garbage? My younger sister dated this guy for five years here in the UK and in December 2012 he told her he was going to Nigeria to spend Christmas with his family. She wanted to go with him but he said that there was no need that he would be back in two weeks. It was all lies. We found out about a week ago that he married another woman around Christmas while in Nigeria. Both traditional and white wedding. Which means he had been planning his wedding while he was eating my sisters food and sleeping with her here. What kind of a man does that? And since our family found out we've been trying to reach him but he has refused to speak with us or even explain or apologize to my sister. He hasn't returned to the UK since he left in December. My sister has been acting suicidal since she found out about his marriage. He didn't even have the decency to end things with her before marrying someone else. You know what they say Linda, Lucifer used to be an angel before he became the devil. Men are wicked!

289 comments:

  1. And so are women. Its a wicked world, these things happen. The girl will eventually get over it. It could be for the best. It is usually for the best at the end of the day.

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    1. The sister could be one of those ashawo girls n fraudsters in london and he needs a virtuous wife,so as a sharp guy just used her to get by.I'm just saying o,she might ve been a virtous lady but saying cows shud not hit u cos u r a vegetarian is just ridiculous,don't place high trust on human beings. #maddingcrush

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    2. Truth be told,both sexes can be mean and evil when dey want to be,its not enough reason to generalize. Focus on your sister,and move on.Its hard but its d only good option u have,no need to curse him,he did that already when he left without looking back. Zurielle's opinion

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    3. Yeah dats true ur Sis will get ova it....she shld b prayerfull...Mens World....

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  2. If she can make it through the night, there is a brighter day. He has gone, that is his loss. The heart of Man is wicked and so is the heart of woman.

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  3. A pimp named slick back19 February 2013 at 11:12

    Firstly, i would not call 5 years "the best time of her life". Yes, i agree what that particular man did was despicable but why use that to qualify all men? We all know some women are no saints themselves (ask biblical Eve or Jezebel or my mother in law). If i was her sister, i would tell her she did not deserve the goat as a husband and she will find someone who loves and wants to be with her if she holds her head high and moves on.

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  4. My dear it is not only in Nigeria that these things happen. Sex and Food does not guarantee your place as a wife. If it is not yours, it is not yours! Shikena

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    1. Hey you are too frank..The truth though, the presentation implies you are a hardened player. Actually, you should have mentioned only sex. Most Niger ladies in UK no dey cook for hubbies here. Naa restaurant food kost men they eat. I know a 30yr old lady in London that does not have a pot. Imagine.

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  5. My dear,I dated a man 4 3yrs,we used 2 have all d fun in d world. N wen I realised he had 2 children wt his WIFE dat is based in USA,I died n woke up. This is a man dat met my family,n told dem abt his intentions of marrying me. He wld av @ least left my parents out of it. If nt 4 God n prayers of my family I wld av been a memory.
    Some men re just bastards,4 me nw,I cannot date kos of fear of dis.

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  6. you win some u lose some. everything happens for the best, if you think 5years was a waste of time, Eternity with a loser is a waste of life.Better late than never. Narrow escape blessing as i say. you precious sister is better without him.

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  7. They are wicked indeed,let ur sis move on with her life, d guy was never hers and thank God they didn't get married cos such guy will do worse. DEVIL WEARS PRADA

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  8. shut the hell up and stop generalizing.

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  9. She should strip naked at 12 midnight, call his name 7 times and lay curses on him. Lets see how he gets away with that.

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    1. Gbam!!!! Lmaoooooooooooooo.

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    2. Lol.. Cece.. Haba. I won't want to offend you o.

      He was not just for her. She should move on. I dated a guy for 8yrs broke up with me and married a babe he met within 2yrs I cried n cried.. 5years after am married with triplet and my ex n wife still doing night vigil for a baby.
      If I was with him, I might be the one doing night vigil for a baby rather than having sleepless nights with my triplets.

      Woman too are wicked.

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  10. women r wicked 2...if i tell u what a woman did 2 me ee, Infact let me nt provoke ma self again.....4bm

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  11. sorry to hear that about ur sister. Men r indeed heartless! i would recommend vengeance prayers and psalm 109 comes to mind. sit and watch God fight for you.

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  12. The more reason why women should keep their legs closed. Make sure your sister is never left alone for now. I can only imagine how she feels. http://nenisnaija.blogspot.com/

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  13. Dat is men for u.....some men are just animals....she will find the right one soon,let her №τ̲̅ bother herself over any man,cos D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥y are №τ̲̅ worth it

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  14. My dear, take it from someone who has gone through such- He would reap what he sowed, that marriage of his would never be fruitful, he won't know any peace and because he has repaid evil for good, evil won't depart from his household... Let your sister go out naked at midnight and cry to God and ask Him to avenge for her.. Adabi and Ayafi (Unless and Except) she wasn't faithful, that's the only way he would go scot free. I've been there and that's exactly what I did.. After 8 years of a fruitless marriage, he came looking for me.. He apologised and right now, he works for my husband as a gate man in his office.. The woman he left me for has since dumped him... I have since forgiven him and I thank God every day for allowing him do what he did. I would have married a gate man instead of a CEO...

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    1. Heeeheeehee.....4 realz? Wow! If this is true....den I shld recall d one I did for one idiot 'seun' guy like dt oooooo. I hope ur reading dis...heeheeheee *tongur out*

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    2. U ar so funny! What's d title of the Nollywood film u just narrated?

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    3. U ar so funny! What's d title of the Nollywood film u just narrated?

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    4. OMG I can't believe this

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    5. Are you sure that was all you did? There is no point misleading people ooo. Ladies, if you go out naked at night you are inviting rapists. That is the worst case scenario. In Nigeria ladies sleep I their house armee robbers comes and rape them. Pls watch out ooo. Nothing much can happen in UK, only free stripe show for your neighbours.

      Madam are you sure you did not employ the services of some witch doctor at the village or some prophet on the mountain, or that alfa that does not see the sun?

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    6. Shooo!!,is dis for real,now his ur hubby's gateman,dis is so funny,my dear jst knw dt evry disappointment is a blessin,pass dis message to ur sister.N/B not all men,my sweet hubby is different

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  15. Wow!! Am so speechless... This is so unfair and not all guyz are dat heartless....

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  16. It does happen dear. I've heard snd personally seen so many horror stories. Take heart. Your sis didn't do anything wrong; there were probably some missed signals, and whispered conversations back home that she didn't take heed of. This guy is probably a mama's boy and was listening to his mom...or perhaps he was with her for papers? You never know....anyway, the point is that all men are not wicked.....look around, perhaps come to Naija, and look for a man with substance. A lot of men in UK and US are spoiled, although they like to think its the women that have spoiled. Tell ur sis to take time to grieve but it's not the end of the world. She should gather herself so when this guy sees her in the next 5 years, they should not even be on the same social stratum....

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  17. They are №τ̲̅ meant †o be,God will give her a man of her own.​​A̶̲̥̅̊₪D̶̲̅ if she is acting sucidal bcos of any man,the man will live his life....the man will definately regret it ȋ̝̊ŋ the future

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  18. I will tell u as a Christian that it even the Bible foretold thousands of years ago that during the last days people will have these traits..in 2Timothy 3:1-5 it says men will be lovers of themselves and have no natural affection. This is it!!!and u aint even seen nothing yet..there's no need to despair..get your sister help and let her know that all hope is not lost..she will find someone she deserves and besides she was alive before she met him, why cant she stay the same after he has walked away..no man or woman is worth u losing your life for as long as they did not give it to you. Life in itself has become a privilege denied to many. It is difficult to go through something like that. However, consider the fact that you are actually lucky if u have been reading what men have done to women...the man that poured stew on his wife nko?pls erase all memories of him. It is difficult but time will tell

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  19. Linda...why you dey stereotype naija men...Address the issue to men generally.........I feel sorry for the woman and as a naija man...this is insulting me :-)

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  20. Hey! sister plz stop committing this fallacy of generalization. not all men are wicked and insensitive as it applies to the female too.
    its quite unfortunate your sister met the wrong person,it hurts in love,especially when the love is true and with sincerety of purpose.
    I can't do such to a girl,but av experienced something similar myself. but my only solace then was "broken relationship,is far better than a broken marriage" If he's destined to be yours,he'll always come to u stress free,coz the blessing of the Lord maketh rich,and adddeth no sorrow with it.
    and Lindiway whats with d pix u used for dis update?

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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    1. ,tkhrt deari,a friend of mine told me similar story,buh hers was hearttaking coz she saw her BBcontacts wishing her long time boyfriend HML# she was with d guy weekend b4 the wedding,he never gave sign of upcoming breakup,either ways,we can't overgeneralize,coz ma boo's d sweetest guy on earth,wink*twidie*

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    2. *off topic though* bonario is dat u? I've never taken a second look at u bf but I must say u look dapper.(Ola baby)

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  21. Gush! Quite sad! Same thing happened to a friend of mine some years ago! She stumbled into her "supposed" boyfriend's wedding invitation! beats me hollow!

    men please answer this poor girl! This is the height of heartbreak and wickedness!

    This girl can cause him and it will surely come to pass! Then he will carry his misfortune and caused self into another innocent woman's life!

    men please change!

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  22. My dear that's life so pls what u guys should ponder more on right is how to re boost ur sisters self esteem. She needs much love & encouragement at this point. PS not all men are devils just that we ladies mostly tend to love and trust the wrong ones. May God see her thru this trying time.

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  23. sad..may God help women. pple find it hard to love. pls tell your sister not to kill herself. God is faithful

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  24. Conscience has to do with persona and not all men per se. Yeah, men get to play around with women much, but just be smart enough to be that girl that a man feels he can settle down with.

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  25. Blah blah blah....luv d picshure thou

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  26. linda y did u call her disillusioned? am sure in that 5yrs the dude talked marriage, and y would u stay wv some1 for 5years sef, is that not way toooo long, kai this is a sad story and d man deserves castration o. pls dont leave ur sista alone , cos she might actually kill herself, am soo touched by this, God will grant her the strenght to pull tru and her own man.

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  27. The Voice Of Truth19 February 2013 at 11:27

    Why would a young woman be sleeping with, cooking for, & doing house chores for 5yrs for a man she isn't married to? I'm sorry but your sister needs some self-worth lectures. She could've done better. She's exactly the reason why 'men are wicked' (in your words) & will never quit being 'wicked'.

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  28. That's old news, she will get over it. *largerbabe*

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  29. Welcome to the real world. She 2 shuld have had a back up plan

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  30. My own bf of 4yrs all of a sudden started listening to hear says frm no oda person buh my cuz dat lives in my house and nw he paid his friend dat works wit MTN to tap into my phone convo.can u imagine d rubbish?he neva engage me talk more of tell me wil u marry me ooo.and he jus wants to torment me to death.my dear tell ur sis to move on

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  31. Hmmmmmmmm, Men r hrtless n wortless, they r all desame, apart frm de 1s dat de word of God has bn born inhim... *giggling*

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  32. Sorry if this sounds harsh...

    Abeg calm down!! Sad as it is, its been done to several people I know, incl close friends.
    Your sister should have protected hers, meaning she wasnt a wife, yet was acting like one. Giving him free food and milk, that is never the way to go.

    I dont know how old your sister is, but if she started dating him close to her mid 20s, then at some point, she should have realized that time was ticking, and should have walked away.

    Why are you trying to reach him, both trad and white wedding has been done, he is now someone else's husband. Talking to him achieves absolutely nothing!

    Yes the guy was wrong, but in life, its better to also own up to one's responsibility. Your sister is not a child, and really should have set her standards higher. A man will treat you as you let him treat you. All you can do is be a sister, and be there for her. Acting suicidal is an immature act so she obviously needs to work on herself before a real man will eventually be able to come in.

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  33. yeah sure..

    should i starts saying things ladies of Nigerian origin do too

    its all relative, deal with it

    tchau

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  34. My dear men are not devils (although some are ) something's you could even say its the women that are devils because you see most women lie to them self, dey know this guy will not marry them but dey just pretend to them self and their families and friends that all is well. It's not easy, It breaks my heart when I see single ladies around that are of marriageable age, but the truth is that the right guy is out there but these ladies are looking in the wrong places, God help them I really, they should be real to them self and stop hanging out with single ladies....Hang out with people you want to become WIVES......

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  35. Na wa o.Karma is a bitch.it will def back fire him.

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  36. Well too bad!! That's just one of the negative sides of life. Just as we have good men, we also have bad ones too. And the same thing also applies to women too. So its a two way thing as it applies to both sexes. Feel for her sha. Pls jst tell her to take heart and move on. The deed has been done already.

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  37. It happens all the time!all the time,dt its almost normal.am not a spiritual person but my advice to ladies is ds,pls PRAY!pray that u don't experience any of ds tns!pple re not willing to change anytym soon,n I used pple cos we ve wicked girls too.jst pray dt nobody pays back ur good deeds with evil.even if it will happen,let it be mild.shine ur eyes well too n read the handwritings on the wall.don't be naïve,dnt be carried away.ur sister will get over it n move on.its one of those tns

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  38. Damn, I feel so sorry 4 ur sis. As a guy I always pray 4 mysef so dat I will not b a tool used in disappointing sm girl. All I can say is she shud move on, as her God ordained partner will find her.

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  39. Very unfortunate for your sister. such is life. Some men have had it worse. Hope she is able to move on.

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  40. Some men are heartless beasts,I too had a bad experience...but, life goes on eventually...your sister will go through all sorts of pains, remind her that there is a God... All the best Dear....

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  41. Hm my dear sister it aint d 1st tym dis kind of thing is happening. Wnt b d last either. Word of advice to ur sis, wat is done is done. Hw does she come out on top? She shud grieve yes, bt remember life goes on. Mke d most of wat she's got ahead. Suicide shud NEVER b an option, nt for d sake of a mere man, indecent animal for dat mata.She shud live a fulfilled life. Karma will handle him well(it did for me). Men cnt b understood ever, jst like women.

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  42. Trust no man! That's d word.. I have a friend of mine dat had his girl friend staying with him.. He had no single idea that she was engaged all the while she stayed with him..she didn't even tell him she was getting married..she married another man before she left his house..'twas after the wedding my friend was informed dat she was married.. So such is life.. Feel sorry for your sister in d pic sha.. Pls take heart.. Your own man go come..life na jeje

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  43. I am a man but won't deny the fact that some of us are cruel. If know I'm not gonna marry her I dont see any reason why I should be wasting her time and free food lol.

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  44. This guy is extremely wicked!!!!dnt blame girls dat kill guys on their wedding day or abduct dem and castrate dem! Wudnt blame her if she does any cos I would do same if it were me!

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  45. This is not a new scam naaa, ladies you have to shine your eyes, be vigilant, read the writings on the wall, its been happening since forever,(guys using ladies and dumping them)and its not gonna stop. Caveat Emptor ( buyers beware) Ladies beware.

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  46. This is the reason ladies poison men. Na wa ooo.

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  47. Hey,Cool it, it aint a gender thing, neither is it tribal or colour...
    The simple truth is that there are bad people and good people...Peeeeriod!
    I'm sure if you were to take an opinion poll amongst Nigerian men too, the general consensus amongst them will be that Nigerian women are horrible too.
    Your sister should just move on with her life, if she can exact her vengeance on the guy, maybe destroy him through something she knows about him, she should go ahead, it will make her feel better, if not, she can either punish the next man that comes her way or just forget about the whole stuff and move ahead!!!!!!

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  48. See pot calling kettle black....if men were to tell tales, women go get where hide? well dts y we are men...we dont go around airing all y'alls dirty linen in public.

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    1. Shut up! Sm men can b such hypocrites! Stupid buffoon like u! Say wtevr u wanna say but i bet ur leeching off sm girl out der! poor bastard!

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  49. Sorry about your sister misfortune, but how u and ur family allow your sister to date the guy for 5yrs without any sign of comittment i think it was too long courtship. Let your sister get herself together and move on with her life because if she commit sucide because of a guy. Thousand of guys will pass through her grave.

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  50. Heartless fool.take heart dear sis smone beta wil come ur way.

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  51. Your sister should not be suicidal! She doesn't know what God has saved her from....she should ask God to heal her heart..Meanwhile he will get his own pound of flesh...KARMA aint no bitch!

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  52. Men!! Men!! I grew up with my ex, dated for 6 years thru school, after NYSC i made 2 moves for our engagement (the family sabi me well), she said no, we should not rush...5 months later, she broke up with me and got married to someone else. Shey we shout women ni? EACH to HIS own jare!!

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  53. OH NO, SO SO SAD,PLEASE ADVICE YOUR SISTER NOT TO COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE SUCH CASES ARE RAMPANT HERE, SHE SHOULD BEAR THE DAMAGE THAT THE SAID GUY HAS CAUSED HER, LET HER MOVE ON WITH HER LIFE. THAT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD OK. ONCE AGAIN SO SORRY.

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  54. Bad that he lied but if u were not sleepin wit him and feedind hin, u won't feel this terrible

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  55. Wow! This piece pierced my heart.that guy is ª God- forsaken coward not worth d̶̲̥̅̊ tears. Just dust yourself and be wiser. Sorry sister!

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  56. If u feel Nigerian men are wicked then Nigeria women are worst dear. U have told ur sisters story have u heard the suffering the man has been going through with ur sister since the past years. some Nigerian men that live abroad have wives and girlfriends in Nigeria but their partner turn to have women and men they sleep with back in Nigeria while the man work his ass up. What about the Nigerian women that mess around the men's life. There is noting wrong with the men it is the women. Women una too complain men don't complain like u women do all the time. Nigeria women should seat up and stop complaining. Every woman want a good husband while they can't even keep a relationship.
    Men chase other girls outside when they can't stand u as a girlfriend or wife at home PERIOD.

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  57. Men can be so heartless, one of the reasons y I love wid my head not my heart... Don't waste ur time in a stupid relationship waiting to get a ring, it may neva come

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  58. My dear one tin is sure d guy is not her husband,believe me who she will marry will b one million times better dan her ex.u will write it here and it won't pass dis year,prayer is d key cos I knw dat wot comes around goes around.if same is nt done 2 his sis it will wait 4 his daughter.I trust karma its alwys a bitch.she should kill herself but rejoice cos she's moving into d next level of her life.d guy is just a ladder to her breakthrough.Shalom

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  59. Really this guy messed up but ladies are far more worse off.I had a similar experience with a lady too it just took me time to get it off my mind. I have come to know that "People who hurt you, teach you the greatest lessons in life".

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  60. Sorry for every dear.... But not all men are sha. Seriousy, ur sister stayed with him. Is she saying she didn't notice anytin unusual in his behaviour. Women this days need to be alert becos some men are becoming more heartless by d minute. Ur sis should just thank God for her life and be closer to God, he will fight her battle for her. That young man will crawl and come and beg. God alone can mend a broken heart

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  61. Ladies I keep saying this,after dating a man for at MOST 1yr and he is not talking marriage. Dump him!When u do, he will either marry u or look for another girl to deceive(unfortunately de boku) No time jare. As for ur Sis. Let her take it easy. Usually after this kind of heartbreak God will bless her with a man that will adore her. Just keep her away from ropes,detergent,knives,d Bridge...and pray for her. Ah Men. Smh

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  62. MEN ARE NOT WICKED. IT IS WOMEN WHO REFUSE TO LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF REASON. THE MAN MUST HAVE TELL TALE SIGNS THAT HE IS NO MORE INTERESTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP BUT THE WOMAN WILL NEVER LET GO BECAUSE INSIDE HER HEAD, SHE BELIEVES SHE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO HIM. SORRY MY DEAR,MEN MAY NOT SAY IT BUT THEIR ACTION SAYS IT ALL.

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  63. Eya, she should have been vigilant! how unfortunate for her. Let her not worry but believe that her true love will come even better one.

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  64. Wow..what a painful experience.

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  65. A dog do not bark without a reason,i will want you to say the truth of the issue before concluding because we are all staying in europe and we know how things rolls,80% of female in UK,adultery is their hobby so what did you expect from a man whose his fiance is sleeping around with different men then the woman have it at the back of her mind,sorry do not cost a thing but what about the everlasting injuries she has planted in the mans hearth.Revenge is not a sin as long as you did not do more than what the person does to you,we are all human.

    Kenny

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  66. Ur sister is a comfirmed Learner!

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  67. Awwwww too bad. My sista, lucifer is beta dan men of dis days oooo, infact lucifer dey learn work frm men sef. Just console ur sista & let her no dat witout de guy, she can live very well & she will be beta off witout him. He ain't worthy of her kindness/love. Life must go on. People had worst experience but are very happy rite now, no man is worth dying for my dear, not even my Dad/Brodas.

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  68. Ma God! Well dats nt men dat is life, he was just an opportunist becos there are still good men out there like mine. I know a story like urs bt in dis case he married her chief bride's maid, 2wks later on there way for their honeymoon they died in a ghastly motor accd. Now the lady is happily married wit kids,dat asshole wasn't made for ur sister, just leave evrytin to God and believe in d law of KARMA

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  69. Why re MOST men wicked??? Ha!! Posterity will surely judge him ooo :(

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  70. I am sorry to say, i dont feel pity for her. Girls should always investigate all these Jand and Yankee boiz. Most of the time, they have families or are engaged back at home. But these girls would even leave the humble and single guys and chase shadows and eventually fall in love with the rich sophisticated ones who wld just f**k them.

    Mhen, i dont feel pity at all. Lesson to other girls. They are still plenty out there. I know a handful of them and here is what they wld say:'i have a bf, he is in Jand'...LMAO.

    So says JAY

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  71. A dog do not bark without a reason,i will want you to say the truth of the issue before concluding because we are all staying in europe and we know how things rolls,80% of female in UK,adultery is their hobby so what did you expect from a man whose his fiance is sleeping around with different men then the woman have it at the back of her mind,sorry do not cost a thing but what about the everlasting injuries she has planted in the mans hearth.Revenge is not a sin as long as you did not do more than what the person does to you,we are all human.

    Kenny

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  72. This ordeal and more is what many ladies are going thru with some naija guys.stories that touch the heart!
    Dats why you see some of such heartless Mofucking men NEVER prosper in everything they do.
    Ladies pls watch and pray against men that go to and fro looking for whom to devour!

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  73. As horrible as it may sound, I have leaved in the UK for over 10yrs and i know how our women treat men especially when they do not have papers. Simple I will have to hear the other side of the story first please will NOT judge the MAN yet. cheers.

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  74. First of all, it is very wrong to generalize. Somewomen too are mean. I have a cousn whose girlfriend of seven years (they started dating in secondary school), went and got married under his nose. He just got a call like. 'are you aware your gf is getting married right now?'. That God, he's alive and well. Some people never recover.

    The guy is obviously mean.. a vey wicked soul. Don't worry, they always get what's coming to them.

    I'm sure the lady who sent the piece is either married or has a man in her live. There are some good men. Men cheat, women cheat. Tough life. Just pray you dont get infected in-between.

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  75. I used to read bout tins like this nd jst see it as make believe stories or tins u see only in d movies,until it happened to a very close friend of mine.the worst part in her own case was that she knew d oda woman as her bf's bestie not knowing dey were dating nd planning a wedding nd she was jst d side chick wearing a meaningless engagement ring. Men are really evil nd only God can truly undastand them.

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  76. Hmmmmm men re truly wicked wht has she done to deserve such a heartless treatment chai 5 whole yrs wasted God ll judge him•

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  77. realli men are wicked??
    Wel my dear sista women can do worse dan dat
    nor be woman snatch d guy frm ur sista?
    Who is d devil nw

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  78. Awww......dats a rili sad story. So sori 4 ur sis

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  79. Feel so sorry for your sister. But all men r not the same, there r still some good ones. Dis story could be applicable to ladies. Am a lady I know it all about girls....

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  80. Women have done worse!

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  81. Linda pls post my comment.

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  82. My dear things happen,its good riddles to bad rubbish,the guy was just a bad rubbish that had to go.. Am sure he was just a weed blocking the main man from coming. You guys should be grateful he didn't milk her dry! With time am sure she will heal, wishing her a very fast recovering,it took me 1yr and few months maybe her's might be faster if you guys take her out and invite lots of good friends,guys inclusive around. It mustn't be a niaja girl u all in diaspora take note...

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    1. Its Riddance not riddles! Thank me later!

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    2. Haahha. Awon brazillian hair ontop ice BLOCK..lol

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  83. Listen my dear this is not limited to men dogging women,it happens the other way round as well,my elder brother had same problems with a girl after ten years of living together in that same London and her excuse,he couldn't father a child,this same guy is in the U.S now with an absolute angel of a wife and two children,tell your sister it's not the end of the world ,she should dust herself up,head held high,look good and enjoy her life,a good man will come,better now than ten years time.
    we all know men are dogs and women are bitches but life is only for the living so live life.

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  84. Hey Linda. Calling this person disillusioned just aint nice. Don't discourage ur readers from sendig in stories. We all know these things happen but it always has a strong effect on the people it happens to. Be nice next time n empathise with ur readers.still a big fan though ;-))

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  85. hummmm na wa oh, may the goog Lord be with ur sister oh, this must really be a trying period for her, u people who are her family shld not leave her alone for too long since u said she has been acting suicidal since then, she needs ur support, love care and encouragement at this time of her life. And above all she needs prayer so she shld not end in a mental home

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  86. Most of people, not only men, even women too have dead conscience. Some people think they are too perfect, it so irritates me. I don't know why some1 will do that to a fellow human being. What will it cost you to tell some1 that you aint interested in the relationship again. In the first place, why go into a relationship when you do not know where it is headed.All i know is that, what goes around come around and whatever, you sow, that shall you reap. Although, it just pains me, when children reaps the sins of their parents.

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  87. I should correct her. Some men are wicked and some women are too. This write up is too one sided. Is she trying to tell us all men are wicked?? If so then another option is lesbianism. U females can choose that. Anyway, I know it hurts bad she should try to forget about it n move foward God sees all things.

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  88. Men are truely wicked . Heartless !

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  89. That's most men for you,you sis shud accept her fate and know that's not the end of life,she will surely meet her mr.right

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  90. Na so ooo. Men are so wicked. Ladies don't give ur heart completely to a man, use ur head nt ur heart.dating is a game, marriage too. Use ur head,if u use ur heart, they will rip it out.

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  91. Ur stupid sister open her leg yakata thinking men come by giving them sex? Or money....u, ur sister n d rest of ur family should get a life jare....why shld she be fucking him n giving him money 4 5yrs....r u guyz dunses? Why didnt u advice her then? (like i expect u to know any better) Now u open ur mouth n say men have no conscience...get out of here jor....

    linda u better post my comment na u ask question

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  92. men cant stop with their disgusting atittude

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    Replies
    1. Women should open their eyes wider

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  93. I think being single is the best alternative than wasted years puting on something that will never bear fruit, y date a man for 5years? Atleast a year then get married, well thats life for you it also usual.
    Readwww.leaknigerianews.blogspot.com

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  94. Signs of the end times. Many are too much into loving themselves, not minding if every other person dies and leaves them alone on this planet.

    Tell you sister that The law of Sowing and Reaping is still very much effective! She should think about tomorrow and leave. A minute can change her life for ever.

    I am so touched that I can't even invite anyone right now to come see step by step pictures of fresh fish gravy cooking at my blog.

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  95. Absolutely reprehensible. This man is dangerous. Dear "new wife", this man has all the makings of an "Oscar Pistorius." Watch your back!

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  96. Nah!!!! That guy must m̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ really wicked but τ̲̅ȍ be on a veracity side not all guys Ƴѳu̶̲̥̅̊ think a lyk that, men!!! That guy is mean

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  97. Too bad! but thats one side of the story. who knew what that dude was going through in that relationship. Its always very easy for some people to conclude... abi Linda shey na lie I talk?????????

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  98. I live in Uk,Linda come and see what our sole call Nigerian women does to their husband. Then you will no that that guy went for the best

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  99. Well, my dear reader, you can't pin all the blame on the man- perhaps your sister got too comfortable dating him- five years is a long time to be dating someone and if after one year he is not making a move to do anything, then perhaps she should have stirred him by issuing him an ultimatum, particularly if she has already reached a certain age. Instead, your sister was too busy performing wifely duties for him

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  100. There is more to this story than meets the eye- why did the man refuse to marry your sister? Did he ever broach the issue of marriage with her at any point during their romance???

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  101. Nobody asked her to feed or sleep with him.she was not raped or coerced into it. Love is not sex; neither is sex love.Before drawing any conclusion, hear from the Man. Probably she had been assuming all the while

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  102. Eya sorry about your sisters but not all men are wicked I am also a man. But the guy should have at least made his intentions known. I have a question for you linda their always two side of a coin? Now where they married while in the uk? Did they have kids? So these you can find out be an investigative reporter too you can help locate the guy and ask of his own side of the story. But truly the guy is at fault he should be castrated.. Ehen linda ask her if her sister did anything wrong or if there was an agrument...

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  103. Not holding brief for the man, mana if women learn to hold themselves....she wouldn't have felt used. 5years and sleeping with her....He has been collecting what he was supposed to get only in marriage so why would he bother to marry u????

    If u hadn't been sleeping with him, would u feel used? Big NO!! So ladies, u don't have to be sleeping with a guy in a rship to minimize the damage because, there will the the bad and horrible ones. However there are still a lot of good men and good women out there.

    Make she no kill her self oh, because any attempt by her to do that to herself na straight to HELL oo and she go talk say na because of one stupid man...mba kwa!!!!

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  104. Is better to hear from both sides before comment any way...Listen u is very wrong to say men not all ok and 4 ur information same goes to women ok

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  105. No one asked her to feed or sleep with the Man. was she raped or coerced in to doing what she did? Love is not sex; neither is sex love. Probably we need to hear from the man before drawing conclusions

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  106. aunty linda ur amebo neva kari u hear say de stone Rihanna bottle cos of cb?

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  107. Yea..men r wicked as wen as women esp wen it come t matters of d hrt...it only takes d grace of God&consistent prayers t find d ryt man. Can stil rem wen i was 16yrs,we were in d church(anglican) wen an altar call was made fr al d single ladies t come out fr prayers

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  108. Leave that yarn jor,na today? My friend dated his gf for 3yrs before he left naija to US. Omo he invited d gf to US i swear dis girl dump am fly go florida while we almost slept at d airport, d guy hear from her after 2months dat dey no dey compatible and till now d rest na tory. So bone o Ur Sis no be d first Abeg. I laugh bcos dating u for 100yrs doesn't make u a wife material. I can be dating a lady while she ask for material things and yes I will be giving her material things Which is like paying for the relationship and one days she go dey wait make I marry her? I no pay for her services? I no buy car?i no buy Brazilian and calabar hair? I no buy bb? I no rent house? So leave that thing jor,women think of marriage but forget say the guy dey read and watch what u do outside and inside the relationship. Ask your sis questions jor,she fit be player too or not take home to mama kind. Anyways men and women bad so no push am enter men only o.
    Women should remember that men are not always mugus. The way women think say dey go shop man money na so men want to chop women kpekus.

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  109. that is why it is wise to have a backup boyfriend. Never ever trust a man. Never!!!

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  110. This is very funny but truth!!men are wicked that is why evil never spear them..my case is even better to compair to this..I decided to ask my boyfriend of 2year where our relationship is leading us too..and he said to me its not leading us to marriage. This is a guy I stood by during difficult time,this is a guy who always remind me he want to spend his life with me ,always eager to stay with my family....I have let him be but the funny thing is that he won't stop calling and want to be all around me,he won't stop telling me all his paln and movement..I don't have a heart of wickedness I would have dealt terribly with him. The good thing is that am better off and still on top of my game.better things ahead of me,good home,husband,career, life in general. Talk of my aga am 29 and I trust God he will certainly remain faithful to his word.

    Tell your sister to see Good in this and repackage herself and move on.it will even be better not to contact him @ all. Let her be positive that good things will come her way..its never him and it will never be him.

    Lin

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  111. Most unfortunate dear. But let me tell you the truth: Your sisters experience is not a yardstick to generalize that men are wicked because your daddy is also a man, and I'm sure he didn't do that to your mother.
    The foundation of your sister's relationship was faulty. Have you not heard about the word abstinence? Why did she make herself a sex object to a man who is not her husband? Let her learn that in her next relationship, she should learn to abstain from sex. I blame both of them. The man's marriage might not even last.

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  112. I believe our priorities as a family and women has been misplaced especially when it comes to dealing with men. My mother and father always drummed it to our ears growing up that the only thing that makes a multiple relationship wrong/bad is having sex within them. I am not holy, but I tell you that what makes a woman that dissappointed after a failed relationship is the sex, money and absolute trust that has been solely committed to it. I am so sorry for this lady and I feel her pain because I have a sister who once commited 8 years of her life into a relationship and the guy did the same thing. Please women, let us always know at the back of our mind, in every relationship we find ourselves even marriages that the only beign who deserves absolute trust is God. We should love, respect and trust (only reasonably) our partners. Anyone can become viscious and unfeeling anytime. Pls, tell your sister to move on and quickly too. My sister moved on because we made her to. Give her all the love and support because this is a vulnerable point for her. She should rather know today that the guy in question do not deserve her at all and she should shake off her pain, stop calling the guy and all his family members, give herself fun(pure) and surround herself with absolutely positive people. And for a next time, never ever cohabit with a guy especially when she will bear the cost and eventual consequence. I did cohabit with my husband for few months before marriage(I wish I never ever did)but prepared each day to move out. Your body ain't for free.

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  113. Hmmm men(some) are trulely wicked nd selfish dats y women nid to earn dia respect by ol means,u are dating a guy 4 5yrs dat doesn't gv u da right to fornicate,da more u fornicate da more u loose ur respect nd luv 4rm a guy,becos he feels dat u can gv urself to any1,so gals wake up,wish ur sis ol da best sha

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  114. All men aren't the same. Jesus was a man...:).
    Ok on. A serious note, just pray God comforts ur sister cos he's the only one that can touch her where it hurts.
    Its painful no doubt and no one can understand except they've been in dis kinda situation before, but we shudnt place all our hopes in a mere man..we should always be Ready to keep moving.
    If she commits suicide, how will she explain her actions to God? Someone that was sent to run her rave ALONE ended it cos of another person...urge her to wipe her tears, forgive the guy, ask God for strength, wisdom and the ability to discern, then move on with her life.

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  115. hey please stop lamenting on that sis, not all men are wicked. ur sister should have been wise enough, she gave him everything, just let her continue with her life, don't worry will get a good person later.

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  116. Most unfortunate dear. But let me tell you the truth: Your sisters experience is not a yardstick to generalize that men are wicked because your daddy is also a man, and I'm sure he didn't do that to your mother.
    The foundation of your sister's relationship was faulty. Have you not heard about the word abstinence? Why did she make herself a sex object to a man who is not her husband? Let her learn that in her next relationship, she should learn to abstain from sex. I blame both of them. The man's marriage might not even last.

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  117. I didnt bother coming out cos i fr my innocent mind,d prayer was meant fr those older ladies lookn fr husbands..wen we got home dt day,mum askd me y i didnt come out n i gv her my reasons(dt wen am ready fr marriage,i wl start coming out fr such calls)mum sat me down dt day,n as an EFAC marriage counselor,gv me so many insights in marriage

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  118. some men are wicked and heartless,may God help us all not to fall into the bad ones.

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  119. Hmmmmm! men. Had same experience o the excuse the guy gave was that i was not a yoruba girl didnt even tell me about the wedding and we saw 2 weeks before the wedding o.ng

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  120. I feel bad for the girl but the man has no blame, must the man marry her because he has spent 5 years eating her food and sleeping with her? is that the criteria for marriage, the same way ladies will tell a woman to leave a bad marriage irrespective of the number of years together. what is bad is bad. I am sure there is more to it, what difference will it have made if he had told her it was over, people will still rant< how many of you ladies here will allow your brother to marry a girl that has been living with him for 5 years out of wedlock, especially if you dont believe in cohabitation. Another angle could be the guy was waiting for the lady to get pregnant first and after 5 years he concluded their is sometghing wrong with her (either right or wrong).That is life it happens to all of us in different shades and shapes. Afterall it is one poor man that will still marry your sister and then your sister will take out her anger on him.

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  121. Dear sis sorry for the good intension u had for him n soory for the bad approach he gave to u..Same women dt says men r wicked still say My hausband is d best...u got d wrong guy...

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  122. my pple i want us to pray becos we are in end time,this is not about being a man, it happen from lady too,let me used my own to do example ,I dated one lady in some years back in fact all her family knew me very well,and i make sure i gave her what ever she need ,any time i demand for sex, she will told me until the day of our wedding ,not knowing that she has another man in her life,later she got pregnant her pple start to asking me, i said i dont know any thing about it ,then every body go on his way latter i meet with jesus and I pray and know the will of GOD in marriage,I want to tell the whole world that some body that i marry she is more educated more than I and the other lady, she is beautiful more than her,she is a mathematician. very good in bed , and GOD bless us with children.in fact i dont know i can still meet such a person in my life . my advice is that let accept JESUS and pray mr right is coming ,

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  123. WHY i wont say why date someone for five years without any marriage move and still hang there?cos, he could be legally marry your sis in uk and still marry another here in Nigeria. The thing is lets define relationship from on set and shine our eyes well well to know who truly love and need us. you got to put some rules. NO LONG THING TELL UR SIS TO GET UP TO HER FEET, CLEAN UP AND SEE THE WONDERFUL MAN THAT WILL COME HER WAY. LIFE GOES ON MY DEAR. ONLY GOD NEVER FAILS

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  124. gosh!!!! whn i say am scared to trust my man with his silly attitude at times, this is what i fear most. one ting for sure: God knws all, tings like this dont always go unpunished.

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  125. I feel sorry 4 ur sis.Let her learn frm it and try 2 move on wit her life.btw,nt all men are like dat.

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  126. gosh!!!! whn i say am scared to trust my man with his silly attitude at times, this is what i fear most. one ting for sure: God knws all, tings like this dont always go unpunished.

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  127. I always wonder at women who think there can be any real commitment from a man, before she has met several members of his family. I would not take any man seriously who hasn't introduced me to his MOTHER, not even just his FATHER. my man introduced me as 'I'd like you to meet my future wife!'

    Also, an African man is always best seen and known in his home environment, and around his friends before you start to harbour any real expectations. Finally, you should always cultivate an attitude of; I AM ENOUGH FOR ME, ANYONE WHO CHOOSES TO BE PART OF MY LIFE, CAN JOIN IN, BUT I AM ENOUGH. This way desperation can never creep in. And you will always be more desired by the opposite sex.

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  128. Just tell your sister to move on.
    God has a reason for everything.
    This is the story of my life too.
    Though in a different way.
    I met my first boyfriend at 20, then he travelled to the UK. I wasted 5yrs of my life waiting. When he travelled initially I wanted to end the affair but begged that he would never dissapointment me.
    5yrs later he couldn't tell me he wanted out, instead he kept looking for an excuse.
    I got to know he was now married to a white woman. I almost died, but my sist & my mum stood by me and with the help of GOD I went thru the most trying time of my life.
    But you know what, 1yr later GOD gave me a real man, who's been there & done that.
    We would be getting married & when I look back now, I know why it didn't work.
    GOD wants the best for your sister!!!

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  129. not all men dearie...some still have conscience especially the ones with the fear of God and good home training.Take heart dear.Hes not hers.Your sister will surely get a real man that deserves her.
    And trust me there is also the law of karma in existence.

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  130. Sister, u are very emotional and subjective at this time, quite understandably. But to help ur sister u need to be objective.

    When men do things like this it culd be due to:

    (1) the woman has low self esteem (due to a myriad of reasons - age, ugliness, body odour & shape (no kidding), introvertedness, etc and allowed herself to be used like a rag.

    (2) the woman had played d field in the past and decided to retire wth a responsible dude. Men play d fool with such babes only to pay them back with such an act like this

    (3) the man is more of an oaf than a man and has no shame in seeking support from an unsuspecting gal, only to ditch her when he's done milking

    (4) the man was serious about d affair till he found out that d babe had slept with his friend(s) in d past but she didn't fess up

    These 4 scenarios are independent of each other and have caused many a heart ache in d past; and will still cause tons more in d future. Ponder on them and ask ur sis if any seems familiar.

    No matter the case, ur sister shuld hang on to the fact that while there's life there's hope. It hurts, yeah. But imagine d hurt of losing one's child? This won't compare. So ask her to summon courage - aluta continua! It's not over till it's over. She shuld find a man that loves her and start a family.

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  131. So sad. But lady,all men aint Tʰᵉ same. And morever there are two sides to a coin. No man marries for pity or gratitude. D word LOVE is still in existence. It has to be mutual.

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  132. @ Bonairio Nnags or wotever u call urself.Pleees plees and plees again just shut up if u dnt have anything to say. To start with,she is talking about her married sister....in what way or on what basis are u comparing urself with her sister?d***b a*s

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  133. One: Its not wrong for Linda to call or tag d reader disillusioned. It only meant that Linda indicated that the reader/email sender is wrong with her belief.
    Two:Oluwatosin williams, its good 'riddance' to bad rubbish not riddle.

    Now to the reader, who sent the mail. My opinion is very simple here. No matter how long a relationship/courtship is, it shouldn't necessarily end in marriage. You can't make profit in all businesses. Some endeavours are meant to add to your experience no matter how saddening.
    Besides, who told you the young man that eloped had not been enduring the supposed 5years relationship. You can't be sure if he wasn't frustrated by either your sister's action or inaction.
    Your supposed heart-broken sister would tell you the part of the relationship she wants you to know. She won't venture telling you about things she did wrong that may have warranted the young man's escape from the tigress den.
    And who told you women can't do worse?
    Just as I sympathise with you and your family, encourage your sister to gather her acts together and move on. Not all businesses will yield profit. That's a bitter pill she has to swallow.

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  134. Awwwwwwww.......*crying for dat lil sis* biko nu! Wetin sef! 5 years wit a guy and he didn't talk about marriage! That's absolute stupidity, my dear. Why she come dey wail? Make she go sidon joor! Well, all y'all disillusioned women who does that(illegal wife- wash, iron, f**k, everyother things) in d name of westernisation(oyibo theory copycatology), na Amadioha turn una to carrots. Any bingo wey no gree hear hunter whistle go lost! Half-word is enuf 4 d wise!

    Am outta hia! Hian!

    Yomiaustin don yarn him own o!

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  135. Life is in phases, men are in sizes and women are in categories! Am not here to justify any gender but to extract lessons for others-especially ladies. From the story, as a woman, you are endowed with hidden treasure that you could know it when a man is in love with u and when he is sincere with you. Was her relationship with the man defined as husband and wife to be? NO! I dont think so! The fact that he ate your food or slept with you doesnt make his heart to be with you. Most women assume what is not when it comes to male-female relationship, never you assume a man wants to marry you if he has not spoken about it.Tilt the table:ask question to clarify yourself. it is desperation that makes a woman conclude in such manner. I guess the man couldnt share his relationship status with her bcos he took advantage of her: which is bad. AS a lady, its high time you stop allowing a man to dump you like tissue paper after satisfying his urge. Carry yourself with dignity and respect your virtue. A virtuous woman, who can find?

    And to the men,why not be a little gentlemen. make your intention clear, with that you can save the men from general insult! To the Ladies once again: not all men are the same: there are exceptions.

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  136. My condolences to ur sister and it is so shameful that a man would leave her in such a position. You are right Lucifer was once an angel and "people are wicked" regardless of what sex(males or female). I think 5years is too long for any man to be dating another woman in Nigeria to d put he marries her and she shouldn't av noticed, I am not blaming her but sometimes we need to be smart ourselves. Nevertheless it is men like this that give men a bad name and truly we do av a lot of bad characters but among the wolves are some sheep. I have been hurt and perhaps done the same as well but that doesn't make less of a man and I avn't done anything such as this but pain is pain. Committing suicide is d wrong path but boundaries could just be set for the future, for me marriage and child birth is out of it. That's just my point of view and my regards to ur sister. Linda the picture is a bit sexist please remove.

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  137. Men are wicked: I understand how you feel but don't generalize. Just that they hard to spot. He takes inner prayer and wisdom to find an husband material. Like this facebook page-Flat belly & Weightloss Tips for Nigeria

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  138. And if the girl places a curse on him now they will say she is wicked.Dat man is a coward,he should have been bold enough to tell her the truth.Girls pls be wise enough in ur relationship to know when a man is using and playing you.

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  139. Abeg e do...Ladies shud quite generalizing men...if you ever fell for a stupid man...blame your stupidity nah...warrisit sef!! And dear writer you can give us the guys name so we can fish him out for you...:D

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  140. First of all I hate it when women say men are wicked! I am a man and I know I am not wicked. I might act rash, but I am not wicked. Believe me I am not excusing your sister's ex, but please remember to pinpoint your blame. He is wicked, I am not and I bet your father is not.
    Lemme tell you a story I heard, a guy was dating a girl and in their final year, on the day of their final paper, this girl asked the guy to write her papers on the guise that she wanted to travel home to see her folks, unknown to all she had traveled for her traditional wedding! And can you believe the guy was caught writing HER exam? Is that not heartlessness?!! Do you see me claiming all women are wicked? No!!
    The problem is that most Nigerian girls, especially Igbo girls, FYI I am igbo; go into relationships hoping it would end in marriage. It's like they have marriage screwed tight into their mentality!! How can you date a guy for a year and for once he doesn't introduce you to his family and you stay there playing wife, dreaming of picket fences! Are you a learner?!! How can you date a guy and he doesn't talk of marriage, kids and a future with you and you still think you can change him? Are you high?!! Not every guy needs repairing and girls should be able to differentiate between husband materials and boyfriend materials and stop branding all of us WICKED. For f*ck sake women were created with a 6th sense, they are very intuitive, able to sense things even before you say it, but impatience and greed has robbed the 21st century of this gift! Like the popular saying goes 'All men are evil, who asked you to try so many?'

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  141. All of u women going on condemning men beta sharrap! The ones that open their mouths the loudest are the ones the commit the most atrocities! I've seen u ladies at your worst! Men cheat, men do this, men do that..meanwhile in Nigeria, if you no dey drive beta car or get beta house, you're not the man of her dreams..Silly materialistic pieces of shit! Take me for who I am and then come let's make love and fuck all night long!

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  142. My dear, take it from someone who has gone through such- He would reap what he sowed.. Let your sister go out naked at midnight and cry to God and ask Him to avenge for her.. Adabi and Ayafi (Unless and Except) she wasn't faithful, that's the only way he would go scot free. I've been there and that's exactly what I did.. After 8 years of a fruitless marriage, he came looking for me.. He apologised and right now, he works for my husband as a gate man in his office.. The woman he left me for has since dumped him... I have since forgiven him and I thank God every day for allowing him do what he did. I would have married a gate man instead of a CEO... Linda, why aren't you posting my comments?

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  143. My dear, take it from someone who has gone through such- He would reap what he sowed.. Let your sister go out naked at midnight and cry to God and ask Him to avenge for her.. Adabi and Ayafi (Unless and Except) she wasn't faithful, that's the only way he would go scot free. I've been there and that's exactly what I did.. After 8 years of a fruitless marriage, he came looking for me.. He apologised and right now, he works for my husband as a gate man in his office.. The woman he left me for has since dumped him... I have since forgiven him and I thank God every day for allowing him do what he did. I would have married a gate man instead of a CEO... Linda, why aren't you posting my comments?

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  144. First of all I hate it when women say men are wicked! I am a man and I know I am not wicked. I might act rash, but I am not wicked. Believe me I am not excusing your sister's ex, but please remember to pinpoint your blame. He is wicked, I am not and I bet your father is not.
    Lemme tell you a story I heard, a guy was dating a girl and in their final year, on the day of their final paper, this girl asked the guy to write her papers on the guise that she wanted to travel home to see her folks, unknown to all she had traveled for her traditional wedding! And can you believe the guy was caught writing HER exam? Is that not heartlessness?!! Do you see me claiming all women are wicked? No!!
    The problem is that most Nigerian girls, especially Igbo girls, FYI I am igbo; go into relationships hoping it would end in marriage. It's like they have marriage screwed tight into their mentality!! How can you date a guy for a year and for once he doesn't introduce you to his family and you stay there playing wife, dreaming of picket fences! Are you a learner?!! How can you date a guy and he doesn't talk of marriage, kids and a future with you and you still think you can change him? Are you high?!! Not every guy needs repairing and girls should be able to differentiate between husband materials and boyfriend materials and stop branding all of us WICKED. For f*ck sake women were created with a 6th sense, they are very intuitive, able to sense things even before you say it, but impatience and greed has robbed the 21st century of this gift! Like the popular saying goes 'All men are evil, who asked you to try so many?'

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    1. Lol igbo gurls...try and date other tribes and see if I won't remind you ..anyways the signs are so clear that we see it and ignore it..no time to Waste coz most guys this days are confused and time waster..wise up gurls

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  145. First of all I hate it when women say men are wicked! I am a man and I know I am not wicked. I might act rash, but I am not wicked. Believe me I am not excusing your sister's ex, but please remember to pinpoint your blame. He is wicked, I am not and I bet your father is not.
    Lemme tell you a story I heard, a guy was dating a girl and in their final year, on the day of their final paper, this girl asked the guy to write her papers on the guise that she wanted to travel home to see her folks, unknown to all she had traveled for her traditional wedding! And can you believe the guy was caught writing HER exam? Is that not heartlessness?!! Do you see me claiming all women are wicked? No!!
    The problem is that most Nigerian girls, especially Igbo girls, FYI I am igbo; go into relationships hoping it would end in marriage. It's like they have marriage screwed tight into their mentality!! How can you date a guy for a year and for once he doesn't introduce you to his family and you stay there playing wife, dreaming of picket fences! Are you a learner?!! How can you date a guy and he doesn't talk of marriage, kids and a future with you and you still think you can change him? Are you high?!! Not every guy needs repairing and girls should be able to differentiate between husband materials and boyfriend materials and stop branding all of us WICKED. For f*ck sake women were created with a 6th sense, they are very intuitive, able to sense things even before you say it, but impatience and greed has robbed the 21st century of this gift! Like the popular saying goes 'All men are evil, who asked you to try so many?'

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  146. Her words so sank in me dt fr d nxt5yrs,i evry day table my suppose husband bfr God... Amazingly @21, God sent am angel frm above as my husband..so gentle as a dove,ready t turn d oda cheek fr anoda slap.pple always admire us t d extent of telln us openly hw dey wish t b lyk us.. Evry day i keep seeing Jesus in him...so ladies,its nt by power,might,beauty,education,courtshipetc...it only take d grace of God.. May God help us all

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  147. Omg...partly her fault though.I say this because I also dated a guy for five years and the minute he started having 'other plans' i knew.there are always signs.hard as it was,i moved on.

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  148. In most cases , the ladies put themselves in such situation. Dont be forcing yourselves on a guy, he might like you, want the best for you but doesnt see himself marrying you. The signs are always there, but some ladies think time can change a guys heart and mind. I am going through something similar and anytime i think about leaving her at the end of the day, i feel really bad and low. But what will i do? I have told her its not gonna lead anywhere, but she keeps letting herself fall inlove with me the more..

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  149. It's sad to hear your story babes....keep your head up high and move on.

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  150. In as much that I don't like what happened. In my own little boy way, I blame the girl for making herself to loose so much. The bible warned us that "our body is the temple of GOd" and that we should "keep it holy" Why are you sleeping with a man you are not marry to. Most men mis interprete sex making to a loose life style. Food can not not create love, it can only kill immediate hunger.

    Most women life style push men away.

    I blame him partially but I blame you for helping him messed you up to this level. Life is a lesson!

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  151. If the girl should place a curse on him now they will say she is wicked.Dat man is a coward,he should have been man enough to tell her the truth.Girls pls, be wise enough in your relationship to know when a man is using and playing you.

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  152. In anythng dat happen, dey are 2 reasons..1.the main reason and 2. The one dat is suitable 4 hearin.. Will jst heard d one dat is suitable 4 hearin.. We shud wait 4 d main reason b4 we strted adding comment..

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  153. It cuts across gender. My best friend dated a girl for 9 years, fixed a date for tying the knots with her but shockingly woke up to see traditional and white wedding pictures of his beloved fiancée on facebook. Up till today the girl in question has not called to explain why she did that.

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  154. my dear i know is not easy but u have to move on,u dont even need to contact him let his conscience be his judge cos definately he will never have peac in that marriage,y not call u and settle things amicably instead of dumping u like bag of refuse.

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  155. The heart of man is wicked but there are so many good men out there.
    Ten Reasons Why Men Cheat

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  156. Miss Jade said...
    Hmmn i was almost in dis same situation o! This guys was SERIOUSLY asking me out, always all over me, with me 247, he met my sis, my friends, he told every1 who cared to listen hw much he was in love with me, b4 i say jack he's already @ my place, but i jst kept it @ dat. Somehow my intuition kept telling me smtin was wrong that i shd tread softly.

    And then BAM! one day i stumbled on on his pre-wedding pix and wedding invitation card in his car! He BASTARD was already engaged!!! I jst smiled and continued to play along, i used that guy ehn, choped his money and moved on without him seeing my pants...

    Please tell ur sis to take heart o! Life goes on with or without a Man in it.

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  157. D. Pls don't jst blaim d sis.(Writer)its out of pain. My dear sis leave Adam n Eve matter, cos some of d ladies does. Same thing, but I like to say d guy is nt man enough and nt for her cos he must pay back some how same where. Tell ur sis to. Cheer up, n look sweeter than ever her's wll surely come.

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  158. I feel her pain but things like this are not always from guys some girls are more terrible but if am to judge from what is here then the guy is a mad man it shows why girls opt for membership of female gunner who fly emirates all nite and even in broad day light but it is not still good to judge a case by listening to only one side of the story. FF @ Don_mikel1 or pin:
    2715926F

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  159. Most pple wldnt undastd how she feels until dey experience it. 5yrs! No quarrels, no breakups. Its really sad. Like someone said earlier d guy has jst opened d way 4 who God has chosen 4 u. I'm going thru same now. & still believe God is in control.

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  160. stop blaming men,d man ran to meet another lady not a gay why not blaming the woman that took him away from u?last week i reed That foluke daramola married a man that already has 2 children and d man left is wife for foluke,pls who is to be blame??life is a cycle let pray we find a right cycle...like they always said LIFE GOES ON..

    -Kay Black

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  161. u pray u don't xperience ds thing,u think u are in love u never suspect any wrong,i wz 23yrs when i met a guy and dated him 4 8yrs, when d rship wz 3yrs he impregnated a lady younger than myself and i had no reason to leave him until he relocated and i decided 2 live without him. I've found another man dt adore me and we are planning 2 get married few months time, so funny dt d guy is coming 2 me dt he's ready 4 marriage, he has lose me and d other lady he impregnate and she's nt giv him access 2 d children(twins) and am happy right now,ur sister 'll be fine, it 'll only take time

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  162. Why won't he dump her when he has eaten the pussy, that's mistake girls make. Don't open ur legs untill he marries u, as simple as that, pleasure will kill girls.Gooluck homeboy u are too sharp

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  163. So sorri, wot she needs do nw is to b more closer 2 God,bcos he is the healer of broken hearts.

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  164. Glad to see the softer side of Linda Ikeji's readers.... tell your sister to take heart, pray well, and take this time to get to know herself better. I like the person who said, if it's not yours, its not yours! whatever is yours will stay. Move on. Pele.

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  165. Cool Story Sis.

    **I laugh in hebrew**

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  166. Bitch please, you women do worse shit. The devil you talk about is a woman. You women pray for the death of your husbands, poison him, and other evil and we don't see that on these female-owned blogs. You women, especially Nigerian women, double date and milk men of their money telling him, "I am not ready yet" and finally go and marry your sugar daddies or money bags. When that marriage fails or even while in the marriage, you would be trying to get into the life of the guy you dumped. After all that you would be coming to blogs like this to post crap. What you sow, you reap.

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  167. All of ladies making noise here should shut the hell up and get over your miserable lives..Men are heartless and what are you all if not Lucifer and dark angels of evil ? The only one that knew why he couldn't love that lady enough to marry her is the man in question.Cooking and spreading your legs wide does not mean you are a marriage material.A man could be seeing more of the attitudes and characters he might not be able to cope with in a long term union like marriage.I dated a girl for almost 5 years,living with her in the same house,doing stuffs for her while she cooks,cleans the house etc.People were looking up to us to get married but deep down in my heart I was scared as hell to commit to marriage with her because she has the most evil temper I have ever seen in a woman,she courses like no one else,she does not forgive nor forget,she lies,she pretends,she fights and not minding she's in the public.Sometimes she goes for over a month not talking to me for a little issue that shouldn't take 5 minutes to settle. All these while I was fateful and never cheated on her until I found out she was fuckkking around with other women as in lesbianism.She was also joined a call girl ring for extra cash and I never knew.I was so heart broken though I never told anyone but moved on.Now people may tag me as heartless just because I moved on with my life and refused to marry her.There are more to every break up story than meets the ear.As for you ladies making awful comments and asking the girl to curse the guy,nothing will happen to him because some days are like that.My ex cursed and said all sorts of things but my God is blessing me even more while she is languishing in jail now.

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  168. All of ladies making noise here should shut the hell up and get over your miserable lives..Men are heartless and what are you all if not Lucifer and dark angels of evil ? The only one that knew why he couldn't love that lady enough to marry her is the man in question.Cooking and spreading your legs wide does not mean you are a marriage material.A man could be seeing more of the attitudes and characters he might not be able to cope with in a long term union like marriage.I dated a girl for almost 5 years,living with her in the same house,doing stuffs for her while she cooks,cleans the house etc.People were looking up to us to get married but deep down in my heart I was scared as hell to commit to marriage with her because she has the most evil temper I have ever seen in a woman,she courses like no one else,she does not forgive nor forget,she lies,she pretends,she fights and not minding she's in the public.Sometimes she goes for over a month not talking to me for a little issue that shouldn't take 5 minutes to settle. All these while I was fateful and never cheated on her until I found out she was fuckkking around with other women as in lesbianism.She was also joined a call girl ring for extra cash and I never knew.I was so heart broken though I never told anyone but moved on.Now people may tag me as heartless just because I moved on with my life and refused to marry her.There are more to every break up story than meets the ear.As for you ladies making awful comments and asking the girl to curse the guy,nothing will happen to him because some days are like that.My ex cursed and said all sorts of things but my God is blessing me even more while she is languishing in jail now.

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  169. all these advise to go naked at midnight and ask God to avenge...so it goes like dis: O LORD, U WERE UP THERE WHEN I WAS COOKING AND FORNICATING WITH HIM FOR 5 YEARS, NOW HE HAS LEFT ME TO MARRY ANOTHER WOMAN!....cool story

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  170. To all the ladies talking about stripping naked and calling his name 7 times are you all stupid? does God Support Pre-Marital sex? Bible says Thou shall Not Curse and no one born of a woman can curse whomever God has not Cursed.. stop fooling yourselves its high time women understand that relationship is not a guaranty of marriage if you date a guy for more than 2 years and his not made attempt of marrying you Please break up with him and move on 12 Midnight Curse and Prayer will do Nothing infact your swear and curses will turn to blessing for him..

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  171. This story of your sister been betrayed by a Nigerian should not be the yardstick to define Nigerian men in totality,she surely has to move and let go and believe that God saved her from a hell of relationship, if the man lied to her and she found out that the man married someone else , she should believe that God can still compensate her with a better person, one cannot say all Nigerian men are the same.The truth is that she needs to get some psychotherapy, prayers and then move one, she simply cannot allow a lying bastard wreck her life.

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  172. This story of your sister been betrayed by a Nigerian should not be the yardstick to define Nigerian men in totality,she surely has to move and let go and believe that God saved her from a hell of relationship, if the man lied to her and she found out that the man married someone else , she should believe that God can still compensate her with a better person, one cannot say all Nigerian men are the same.The truth is that she needs to get some psychotherapy, prayers and then move one, she simply cannot allow a lying bastard wreck her life.

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  173. sounds like she was in love...?
    well aint that a bitch...tsk tsk tsk

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  174. An African woman should always learn to accept their role in the family, irrespective of the amount of money she brings into the house. If not the man will sleep with her, eat her money and leave her when she sees a woman that gives him the respect he deserves.

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  175. the problem with black women is that they have decided to stick themselves with black men no matter what they just want to marry from their race even if the guy treat them like trash. your sister was careless if she was very vigilant she would have seen it in him. i mean she should have have that feelings. black women start mining out date out of your race. if you meet a guy that's not from your race who sincerely love you don't no give it a try.

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  176. sounds like she was in love...?
    well aint that a bitch...tsk tsk tsk

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  177. Your sister learnt the hard way. Tell her to move on because thats what you get when you feed and sleep cheaply with a man. Men will always be men......they will need a lady that they will care and provide for and not the opposite. Women should be wise......FULLSTOP

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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

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